Oh dear, I've made a mistake. Aston did give a proper reference for this quote

and it wasn't the piece of writing that I thought she was refering to. I have read a lot of the book cited and I don't recall much about what Attwood wrote in it about any spectrum of Asperger's behaviour in relationships.

I honestly wouldn't describe either my own or my aspie husband's behaviour in our relationship as either passive or arrogant and aggressive. Sure enough, our behaviour might look unusual to outsiders, but we like it. There is no violence in our relationship.

When I had a couple of NT boyfriends before I met my husband, one certainly could have described my behaviour as passive. I showed not much enthusiasm or initiative in those relationships because I wasn't sure that I wanted to be in them and I didn't know what was going on half the time. The more I read about relationship problems that are supposed to be caused by AS the more I suspect that the main problem is incompatibility between NT and AS rather than AS itself. But most of the experts, including Attwood, write that people with AS have problems with relationships, but they don't tell the full story; people with AS have problems with relationships with neurotypical people.

Here is a link to an Attwood interview about AS and relationships which I do not like, because he describes people with AS as being inadequate in any kind of relationship. I know it isn't the truth.
http://www.autismconnect.org/core_files/...ttwood.htm