I never had the chance in adulthood to beat a verbal attacker, thank goodness. Some other people have been forced to endure all of that and more, sadly.

On an unrelated matter:

I really like your colourful use of language Lienda Balla. You have a talent for conveying emotion with style and sensitivity.

ok. Thank you.

Maybe I would be better off not talking about myself at all until I am confident with the person. If someone asks me if I have a girlfriend perhaps I should try saying something like 'not at the moment'. That would make me sound a little less odd. Maybe when people ask who I live with I should say 'relatives at the moment'. I think these answers are true and a bit more socially acceptable because I'm saying 'at the moment' and that removes the permenance or failure ( loser ) aspect. It may give the impression that I am interested in a relationship at some stage or living somewhere else.

Often when I speak I tend to say things that make me look stupid or weird. Saying nothing might be better for a while. I tend to think that people who have known me for a long time ask me things about myself because they are looking for a stupid reply or a self-put down not really to hear what I have to say. I ramble when I speak or talk non-stop and 'dig myself into bigger and bigger hole'. Someone said yesterday that working with me was like being in the twilight zone. Perhaps I should learn to be more assertive with work related comments but otherwise shut up.

bang on.

Why would a woman not be able to put her likes or dislikes it into words? This statement smacks of sexism. Absolute fact? This is your absolute OPINION, and your personal THEORY- but not a fact. Where is your proof?
  
You wrote that women want a man that...

My last boyfriend was an inch shorter I, and I never noticed which side of the pavement he walked on.
If by protective you mean physically, then no- that's not necessary either. I happily take care of myself (and my boyfriend if he needs it : ) ).

SO unimportant.

? I prefer a man whose vocabulary reaches further than "no".

What kind of research? I'd love a reference.

I would say honesty, a good sense of humour, a respectful attitude, good hygiene, and an open and active mind are the deal makers/breakers.

I find it interesting that "saying no", status, being taller, and even standing on the outside of the kerb made your list- but honesty and respect did not. I think you priorities are very unusual. The average woman (as or nt) is far more sensible.

Why is being different not masculine? It takes great courage to be different.

Courage is always relevant.

You wouldn't happen to be into that "sarging" scene, would you? Your attitude sounds familiar.

I believe I can say this because my living circumstances are similar to Micheal’s. I too live with my parents (my mom, not my dad) I work and pay rent to my mom. I, like Micheal have a lack of ambition and motivation. I don’t drive (I walk five miles to work most days) and living life by the day often seems to be tedious, mundane, frustrating, and hopeless.

I have to disagree with what most of you have posted thus far because I don’t believe any of you are looking at the whole picture.

Before I go on I want to let you know that people consider me a loser and are vocal about it for the very same reasons that Micheal here got he ridicule he did.

People are animals, believe it or not we are animals and the law of nature (Survival of the fittest) drives our very instincts. Examples of this would be the relationship between predator and prey, and the alpha male’s privilege to spread its seed among the females in a heard or pack.

If we put aside the dogma, the man made delusions, and the rest of the distractions of human life it is quite clear that in reality (even though it seems insignificant) we by our very core are driven by the law of nature. (This is why power corrupts people, and this is why communism always turns into totalitarianism) it seems to me the law of nature is obsolete to us since we dominate over every single aspect of the living world.  All other animals are defenseless against us. Within our confined shelters we can control climate and temperature. (in our bathrooms we can make it rain and our air conditioners obviously allow us to control the temperature) and instead of having to hunt our food is conveniently packaged for us.

But there is one thing that controls every human life rather you like it our not. it is called money. Rather or not you have food, shelter, water, the privilege to procreate, etc… relies completely on how much money you have. Therefore the fittest is not the one who is the most athletic (as in the animal kingdom) but instead it is the one with the most money. So therefore someone who has the means to live on their own and have excess would be consider the strong, those of us living with our mothers struggling to make ends meet would be the weak. (the being the winners and us being the losers)

As an important side note, money is acquired through means of social interaction, your worth isn’t based upon what you know but rather if you have a piece of paper from an accredited university that says you are worthy, and even that cant help you if in an interview process the employer decides your social abilities are inept.

We with AS truly have a disability. Its not a disability because we aren’t capable of what NTs are capable of. It is because we live in their world, we have to play by their rules otherwise we can’t survive in this society. As Aspies we have to adapt, not because their way is better but because its their society.

So when the **** *** (yes she was a **** ***) called you a loser it wasn’t because she was insecure (well some of it probably had to do with that) but it was her way of telling you that she was better than you, of course she didn’t have the intellectual capability to express that.

But of course she is wrong, the truth is she might be better off than you, which even that is doubtful since she works where you work, but at the same token it is obvious why the society considers us week. They run around trying to stab each other in the back, chasing glory and money because it is the only measurement of worth in our society. But guys like you and me (there are also NT people who are unmotivated and fit into Micheals and my category) don’t care about all of that, we are happy to make it by with whatever we can. There is nothing wrong with it but within our society guys like us will always be looked down upon.

Yes, under the current circumstances you and people with AS are disabled. Probably, I can agree to put it this way. But probably, I won't.  The fact that people do not know enough about autsitic brain does not mean there is something wrong with autistic people. Human civilization exists for thousands years, and morally and spiritually hasn't progressed a lot since its very beginning. I am very much affraid I sound pathetic, but the truth is that we hasn't found the God yet and He didn't say yet that our way is the only good way. Money is not a God. We live in a money world, you are right, and few of us live with the God. I just want to say, that we live because we are to be appreciated for what we are, not because we are to be hated. We need to progress in understanding of diversity. Not only train our autistic and asperger kids to adjust to self-confident us, but to doubt ourselves and our ways of living and change them for better.
I cannot possibly imagine what it is like to live in a world, ruled by people with different type of psychics. I am an NT living in NT world. But I would like to ask you to not trust us when we are mistaken.  Forgive us for not knowing. Again, I am affraid to sound pathetic, and not practical.  I teach my son to speak my language and live in the real world. But one thing that I would like to make clear is that every AS man and woman are real.  Michael is one of the most real persons for me, even though we never met. You were brave enough to disclose your doubt in yourself, and not every NT man can do it.  

Just wanted to disagree that AS are losers, and should be ashamed about living with parents, not going out. It's OK to be different.

It seems more like you were agreeing with green0horse rather than dissagreeing. Couldn't the dollar be considered some sort of Idol? After all, it's the image of the greed's influence isn't it? And, greed has caused alot of people to do very stupid, or riskey things.

In my oppinion, social needs are a desire for some form of emotional affection that lacks in some area. That need is so stitched into many societies that it's a 'must do it or else you are stupid, rude, or ill" concept.

Sheesh, I need to learn to stop my self hitting impulses. -.- Aren't I just a little hypocrate.

lets keep god and spiritual beliefs out of this.

I think what you have written is noble and idealistic but in truth, the majority of the NT population doesn't care, and why should they? it has nothing to do with their material wealth or any other aspect of their lives.

and the NTs that do care are incompedant and wish to eliminate our very thoughts. they would have us be druged up brainwashed drones rather than help us adapt. they touture us in JRC, they call us an epidimic. I saw this one add that said "having a child with autism is like someone kidnapping your childs personality and soul" (I can post a link to the add).

I am glad you arent jaded but at that same token you have to look at the situation realistically, life for a person with aspie is like playing poker with a bad hand.

I think the kind of comments this woman made and the many similar comments I recieved from other people will continue for the reasons green0horse says. I'm not into status or money ( which often really means being in debt ) or being popular. I don't show affection to others so I don't expect it back and when it happens I reject it, so its no surprise I feel distant from people. I can't change this and wouldn't want to.

In the wider world I am not living correctly or doing the right things. The polite term is different. Weird isn't so bad. Loser is what people really mean. People think this even if they are nice to me or enjoy my company. I am still defective to them. And I don't know anyone else who is my age and is like I am.

I don't play the victim, far from it, everyday is a fight and today is another day survived. In reality I have had to work quite hard today serving lots of customers and it is tiring. At the end of it I have been paid, but I've achieved nothing of value for myself. So I'm wrong to do the things that help her and those like her to aspire to her ideals of life i.e. do a *** job, for *** money, to buy more *** stuff. I would love to leave that situation, but I don't think I should be forced out of my income which I earn fairly. My income pays for the interests I enjoy.

I go to work to earn money to enjoy my life away from work not to be involved in all this interpersonal stuff, but it is unavoidable.

I agree with you completely. although we are somewhat different it seems that we are living close to the same life. this life is so very tedious and pointless for the very reasons you just pointed out. I feel trapt and im sure you do too.

thanks for starting this thread, it helps to know that there are other out there like me.

It helps me to so thankyou. I accidentally hit that woman over the head with a sign that fell of the desk today. It hurt her and made me smile! She says she isn't planning to bully me anymore. She is a bad germ! Turns out her husband lives away alot, I've no idea why.....!

Ok, I will not argue, but I will keep my opinion.

Michael 1, this woman is probably a nag and that is why her husband would stay away. Then again, maybe if he stayed around more often, she wouldn't make such bitchy comments to you. I'm happy to see that she has said she will stop bullying you too.