This is my pet peeve. People are always asking 'How are you?' (Or cultural equivalent if this is just a UK thing!!)

I haven't a clue how to answer this stupid question. Apparently you are supposed to say "I'm fine thanks/not too bad, how are you?". I can't do that, because its illogical - what is the point of saying something so mundane, pointless and ultimately untrue?
I went through a phase of actually taking the question literally and telling people exactly how I was. It got some very negative reactions. Nowadays I tend to just grunt 'alright' under my breath, which sort of works, although people think I'm just rude.
Sometimes I manage with great effort to squeeze the 'proper' socially correct phrase out of my vocal chords, but I add some silly accent or pitch. Its as if my brain literally can't cope with these stupid social etiquette rules.

I'd be okay if you could just say 'hi', or 'hello' and just be done with it.

Yeah I hate that question, because it's just a way for people to act like they care when all they want is for you to say "I'm fine" no matter what. That way, they don't have to continue to act like they care when it turns out something's wrong.

And that's one of the top reasons people suck.

hah I forgot to answer the question...

I usually just say I'm doing good and I repeat the question. Although these days, I usually am doing good so it's okay.

The word "fine" should be banned! i don't normally mind giving an answer if I know the person, if not it's something simple like fine, ok, not bad etc

when i get answered that question, i just say "eh, alright" anyway, even if something's bothering me.. which there always is. ><

If anyone asks me "how are you?" I generally reply with the expected answer, normally "fine thanks, how about you?" or whatever depending on the situation, it doesn't annoy me all that much at all, as much as it seems illogical sometimes

How are you? Its just one of those social niceties where people expect you to raise a weary smile and answer fine, ok or good. They're don't want a truthful, overly long or emotional loaded answer like:

How are you? Well actually I'm terrible. I contemplated suicide twice this morning. Lets go and talk about my depressed state over a coffee.

No, they don't want to hear that.

How are you? This is a question that people who don’t really like each other very much ask when they want to appear kind and sensitive.

And to my mind a pointless question to ask, unless your actually interested in another persons wellbeing.

I am honest and I can tell by the way people responde if they really meant it or not because they'll ask follow up questions or they'll be uncomfortable. Most of my friends ask because they genuinely care and I don't talk to many people that I don't know well.

I also ask the question, and when I do I mean it... or I don't ask.

Either I give them a synopsis of my physical (and possibly mental) condition, or I recite, "I'm fine, how are you?" back to them. It depends on how cooperative I'm feeling.

I usually take the question literally and answer it accordingly after a moment of thought.

I once used to say when someone asked:
-I feel awfully terrible!
Meant as a joke, but when saying it when my dad asked had the awful consequence of him asking why and really wanted to know.

I have come to terms with the existence of this banal exchange.

When asked how I am, I always say "FAAAAAAAAN- Tastic!" with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.  It makes people wonder what you are up to, and the unexpected nature of the response quietly points out the silliness of the ritual of asking it.

When I ask the question in return and someone says "Fine" - I say "It's early yet - you still have time to turn that around."

I answer either 'fine', 'ok' or 'alright'. I never return the question since I don't care how they are.

I just say "I'm fine, how about you?", even if I'm having the crappiest day of my life. It's just a habit now. Hopefully they don't try to talk to me any more.

TheStorm: Is that one of those new Blue Jack Dempseys in your avatar? I've heard lots about them, but never seen one in real life.