I assure you, I have the penguin situation completely under control.  Any surprise apearances of penguins are all part of my clever plan.  You see, if we make the world public paranoid about penguins, it's so much easier to infiltrate the government and remove esential civil rights that would otherwise be bothersome.

And if a penguin revolution WERE to erupt, I have a detonater connected to a microchip in each penguin's brain.  A messy, but simple solution.


I do have human assistants who speak penguinese and the security guards speak it, too.  Those whispering groups you saw were speaking of nothing more insidious than which penguin-celebrity is sleeping with which other penguin-celebrity.