shouting "I am the mouse saver of all the skunked ones! follow me away from the skunks & great yeti hairy monsters into the cheeseland where all is...........

...Cheddar.

The little mouse leapt upwards to a great height. Mogfelat gasped, not realising that mice could achieve such a high level of skill in martial arts, but the mouse squealed as he flew through the air.

His sharp back feet collided with the yeti monster, popping him like an over-stretched balloon. With a squeal of escaping air, the yeti monster deflated until he became just like a...

dried fig who, no matter what he did, couldn't utter a single comprehensible word without sulking...
-"Hey, mouse! Come here and give us a kiss," said Mogfelat and

the mouse said "why?"

-"why? Becaws am Francie Brady! Who do you think you are?"
-"Francie Brady... I have no time for thinking or kissing or... I am a mouse! What do mice eat? Cheddar!!!"
-"Oh, sorry mate... Want some crackers?"
-"Ah, that a boy in my taste." said the mouse and leaned in close to Mogfelat and

whispered.
-"I got some strawberry jam back in my mousey hole. Want to go back there and have some?"
-"Lezz gow," said Moggie in a drawling voice and on they went but what Moggie didn't know was that Francie Brady had something up his sleeve that didn't

quite add up. He was a hoarder and didn't like throwing out things that didn't work; not even his broken calculator.

perhaps someone could fix it and it could turn valueble in  a few years,better hang on to that one.
hm...
No.
Its in the bin now,where it should be.

-"Well! Well! Well! That was a real change of scenery," said the pocket calculator and began to hit on a sorry loaf of bread.
-"Get off of me you imbecile, can't you see I'm grieving?"
-"Manners! Please," it rumbled from not to far away...
-"Oh, no... Not that one again... Thank you very much for inviting the monster," said a pack of semi-edible ham.

Simultaneously further up the alley a scavenger of the intrepid sort tripped over some boxes of glass jars put out quite recently and made a ruckus on top of the garbled orders shouted out to the godless cretin guilty of such a transgression as putting out good jars as trash...

-"Manners! Please," it sounded like... "Suit yourself, these jars are the quickest cash tonight... thank you Jesus!" said our intrepid friend and began to transfer the cache to his three-wheeled bicycle.

Minutes ticked away and the silence was like a crazed serial murderer to the calmness of the trash bin were our friend the pocket calculator lay waiting for the inevitable. Attempting to stifle a sudden burst of burps the pocket calculator coughed up the sad remnants of the numbers 9, 7 and 2 and was just about to

......turn itself off, when it was plucked out of the garbage by a deranged bag-lady in a torn day-glo plastic mac and thrown into her already overflowing shopping trolley.

She cackled to herself "Now I can save the world from............"

all these edges and corners and impossible dancers in vitro fertilization didn't I tell you that I used to be...

...a rabbit?"

"Then how did you change?" inquired the disembodied voice of Mogfelat.

"Simple enough, O Disembodied One," she explained. "The powers of advanced genetic engineering and stem cell mutations hath made me the bipedal being I am today. And if that's not enough, I do miss the taste of grass and the musty, homely smell of my old warren."

There was a sudden thump and a few stray bits of fur flew up. It soon became obvious that Mogfelat wasn't quite his normal self and now looked more like a fat moggy than anything else.

"Merrow!" said the former Mogfelat and that was all that would come out of his mouth.
He was getting more and more panicky about his loss of speech that he

leaped out of his burrow so quickly that he turned himself inside out!
"Oh no" he tried to cry, but his voice was muffled by the greasy fur, he rolled into the magic river, where all was made right, he was once again a fat mogget  instead of a Mogfelat who could.....

...turn trees to ashes with the power of his queer-eyed gaze alone.