My 2 boys Bowen 5 and Brady 2 are both autistic. I'm so confussed. I want what is best for them. I want them to thrive and be happy. But people feel like you should do everything you can to make them normal or typical. Yes I want them to learn and grow. Yes I want them to be able to care for themselves one day, I can't live forever. I don't however want to make them something they are not. I am learning as much from them as they are from me. Should I want them to be cured just to fit into society. They are so smart but yet so different. They are not violent or hurtful. They are so loving and innocent. They are what everyone wants everyone to be in this world. They are without fear, they show unrelentless trust, they find wonder in almost everything. They wish bad of no one but yet this is a disorder????
I'm afraid if I push to hard I will take something special they have away from them but yet I should want them to fit in. But isn't everybody different to some degree or another? I love the way my boys are, yes it has it's difficult moments but at some point in time everybody has times when they are difficult. I feel like instead of trying to make them learn to learn things my way why shouldn't I learn to teach them things their way.
I have 3 older children 20, 18, and 14 all typical and I know what it's like to raise typical children, yes alot easier. Easier to teach, easier to understand and easier in general because they are just like me.
But my 2 little guys are teaching me. It's kind of odd. It's like I have been given rare diamonds, my 2 boys are unique. You ask most 5yr old boys what they want to be when they grow up and you will get a range of aswers like fireman, policeman, doctor, astronaunt ect... Ask Bowen what does he want to be when he grows up and he will tell you, a man duh. (Duh is his favorite word.) I mean that sounds like a right answer to me isn't that what boys are when they grow up, men? They are so logical but yet so unlogical and many times all in the same breath.
You know the saying it got lost in the translation well I'm afraid of something getting lost in the translation with my boys from autistic world to typical world. I will do everything I can to teach them the fundmentals of life but never will I let anybody conveince me or my boys that they are not as good as anyone else simply because they are wired up different.
It's like when company comes over most of the time Bowen will just get up and go to his room and shut the door watching TV or playing in his room on his computor. People act like I should make him come out and be sociable, but he's happy being in his room. Me on the other hand I like being around people so for me to do that to him it would be like somebody taking me and putting me in my room and telling me I couldn't come out until company left. What makes one personal preference better then the other? Only that society says that's the way you should do things.
I'll teach my boys right from wrong such as stealing is wrong or hitting someone is wrong or saying hateful things is wrong ect.... and that being helpful is right and taking care of yourself is right and being nice and polite is right and saying please and thank you is right ect....but as far as teaching them you have to be just like everybody else I can't do it. I just can't do it. They are who they are AUSTISTIC.
By the way I hate it when people ask me about my kids and when I tell them they are autistic they sigh and give me that oh you poor person look or worse yet they say I'm sorry. But I have a pretty good comeback. I ask them if they have kids and if they say yes I say oh really are they normal. When they smile and tell me yes. I looked them square in the eyes and sigh and say Oh I'm so sorry. They look at me really weird but what they heck, oh well.