Hi,
I'm 24 years old and I'm wondering if I have Asperger's syndrome. I was suspecting about autism and I asked this on other forums. Someone said I may have Asperger's syndrome. So I read a lot about it on websites and had some tests. I'm 99% sure I have Asperger's syndrome because it describes me so well but I'll write here about me just to be sure. Please don't tell me to go to a doctor because I'm don't want to talk to anyone about this and it won't make a big difference anyway. My native language is not English and this will be a long post so I'll appreciate it if you can read it all and tell me your opinion.

First of all I'm very antisocial and I was much more antisocial when I was a kid. Until I went to school it was very hard for me to go even 1 meter outside of the house. Until I was like 11-12 years old it was also very hard for me to talk to people other than my relatives. Actually I still don't like talking to strangers although I act like an actor so they don't notice it

I have problems with my speech. I can't spell the "r" letter(I use v instead) and my voice is thin most of the time(although it's perfectly normal sometimes). I mean even if I use words without "r" letter sometimes other people turn their head to look at me.

When I'm outside I feel like my body movements are normal but if a camera records me and I watch it I see that sometimes it's not normal. And other people notice it too. I'm also left handed.

I'm smarter than most people. I know this sounds arrogant but look at other things I wrote about myself. None of them are nice. If I was arrogant I wouldn't write them. I don't calculate like computer(like some autistics do in movies) but I have many chess trophies and I'm the best chess player in my city. Most people I know think I'm very smart even some of my enemies. I'm also going to university(chemistry) which is in the city I live in right now although my grades are not good because I hate lessons.

6-7 years ago I was seeing a child psychiatrist. My parents gave me an unimportant excuse for that but I know that was not the reason. They also made me some tests like 10 years ago. I don't remember exactly but I saw something like print of my brainwaves on paper(they said it was not normal) and in one test I lied about half an hour in something(like a thin bed in a long machine).

When I read the things I wrote it seems like I'm exaggerating everything. If we met I would try to act normal and you wouldn't notice anything but I'm not like that all the time. This means it's not physical and as far as I know Asperger's syndrome is not physical also. Here are some tests results I had online:

http://www.thegeeksyndrome.com
Result:30 (9 out of 10 people with aspergers who take the quiz get a score of 25 or higher.)

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
Result:40 (Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher.)

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
Result:Your Aspie score: 154
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47
You are very likely an Aspie


I felt that on some other forums people thought I have Asperger's syndrome but they weren't sure whether they should tell me that because they don't know how it will affect me and it may make me upset etc. I can safely tell you that it's not true. I already said what I read about Asperger's syndrome describes me so well. The fact that there are other people like me and knowing that the things I told you about myself(like being antisocial) were not my choice gave me relief.
Thanks for reading.

Hi, a lot of aspies don't want to see a doctor and get a diagnosis, and so self diagnose instead.
If it won't make a difference to your life if you are diagnosed or not, then it doesn't really matter.
I found some of the things you said a little confusing, maybe its the language barrier.

Can you ask your parents why you had tests? And can you ask then if you were diagnosed with anything at that time, sometimes children are diagnosed and their parents don't tell them.
You could already have a diagnosis that will explain how you feel, possibly.

As I said I want to know if the things I said(like being antisocial) were my choice or not. If I have Asperger's syndrome it means it wasn't my choice.

I don't think you need to blame yourself if you don't feel very social. Some people are, some people aren't.

Knowing something is always better than not knowing it. If someone said "knowing it will not change anything so I don't care" I would't believe him. Knowing it doesn't matter only when you are talking about someone other than yourself. You can't say "I want to have Asperger's syndrome so I have" or "I don't want to have Asperger's syndrome so I don't have". Either you have or you don't have. That's what I'm trying to learn.

I think you are misunderstanding what I said. I meant that it doesn't matter if you are professionally diagnosed unless it makes a difference to your life, ie if you are suffering prejudice at work.
I didn't mean that it makes no difference if you have aspergers or not.

To your other point, some people can say 'I want to have aspergers' and convince themselves, people do it with various things, some people are hypochondriacs.
It is true that people either have it or they don't, but there is no magical way to determine it yourself, and that's why it may matter to some people if they have a professional diagnosis or not. Some people are happy with their own self knowledge however.

It matters for me and I just want to know. That's my choice. Maybe I'll go see a professional in the future but for now I don't want to. That's why I posted a message here.

Hi Asmoday
You may be looking for a certain answer that does not exist, in that being diagnosed on the autistic spectrum isn't like some all-or-none blood test.  The definitions and criteria are not, in my opinion, all that crystal clear and different diagnosticians may draw different conclusions from the same set of data. So what I've done is a combination of looking into my past, asking my mother for memories of me as a child, and asking "What if...?"  That is, what if many of the difficulties I had can be explained by my being on the autistic spectrum someplace? And this has been a fascinating mental and emotional journey that has mostly been good. For example, it has led me to this forum, where I've learned more about the diversity of autism and autistic people than I had had any idea of.

HIV tests take blood.

Asmoday wrote

These tests sound like investigations of brain functioning and structure that might have been done by a neurologist. Epilepsy is a neurological condition that is sometimes (but not always) associated with autism and AS. Even high-functioning and highly intelligent autistics can have epilepsy. Unusual brain structures or extreme head sizes can also be associated with AS.

I don't mind if you write that you are smart. If it is true, then it is just a fact. Why should we have to hide the truth? A lot of people with AS are very intelligent, and in some aspie families there are lots of high IQ or high academic achievers. I am starting to wonder if at least one of the autism genes is also a high intelligence gene.

Cemistry and chess sound like pretty typical interests for an aspie. We have two aspies in our family who have had chemistry as a "special interest". Did you know that the former world chess champion Bobby Fischer is thought by some to be an aspie? He is apparently eccentric, outspoken and has a great memory, and some would describe the man as "difficult". These are all typically autistic characteristics.

Count me in on chemistry--I was totally obsessive about it.

I used to read Chemistry and Physics books that we had lying about at home over and over when I was young; it did wonders for my exam results at school as a side-effect  :grin:

Ant

I don't think it's quite that easy. It is surely no one's choice (or fault) that he has certain character traits which makes some skills easier for him to learn and other skills harder for him to learn. It is impossible to know where the line between ability and disability is drawn. We don't want to feel guilty over matters that are beyond our control. But we also don't want to feel powerless over matters that are within our control. A "diagnosis" whether applied to us by others or self-imposed really doesn't solve anything. It is only a handy tool for finding peers.

I'm not sure of your point here. Surely there is a line between ability and disability, such as someone who has a car accident and can no longer walk, they have become disabled not through their own choice.

Asperger's isn't a choice, it isn't automatically a disability, but for some people (depending on their living situation, age, comorbids) it can be one.

A diagnosis could solve something if a person is being forced to be a person they aren't. Or is being discriminated against at work or school.
As for peers, people who are self diagnosed can find them too.

But anyway, welcome to AFF :smile:

Of course there is, but where is it? I don't care for stories like Heidi, that preach that you can do anything if only you want to. But I also don't care for the opposite, assuming behavior is totally predetermined.

In this example the line is a lot clearer than in Asperger. And yet it is not always 100% clear. Some people may be able to walk some, for instance with the aid of complicated gadgetry, but the question is how much effort is it worth putting into walking with such a disability?

But this is getting away from our subject.

I agree, but unfortunately, it often works the other way around.

As a matter of fact, this is the only kind of "diagnosis" I consider legitimate. I reject the right of anyone, including physicians and other professionals, to label other people.

Thanks. I'm new to you, but you're not new to me. I've been following AFF for years. Great site, one of my favorites.