Any help for someone who just realized their husband may have aspergers. He's 39. I don't know what to do, how to react...

I'd need more info before I can give any sort of advice.  What do you see as the problems?  And maybe get a proper diagnosis.  Mixed marriages (Aspie/NT) can work, my husband is an NT and we've been together for the past 26 years.
Alison

If your husband does have aspergers, then he is the same person he was yesterday. All that has changed is that you are both in a position to understand him better.

+ 1

also - he does not per se "have" Aspergers but his mind/nuerotype is not typical - so he is possibly and Aspergic thinker - or has an Aspergian type mind...

If you are married to him and just figured this out - alas, it is quite possible that you have people in your family - without you realizing it - that are "cousins" to an atypical way of thinking,  which might explain why you love him for who he is - you may be an open minded person... someone who loves uniqueness in people, or direct people, or loyal people - etc.,etc (pardon my random speculations)

I only became aware of so many people in my family with many similar traits to my oldest obviously aspie (obvious to me) son... when I thought about it
- and I saw so many traits in myself too... a lack of social conformity for example (having never desired to be with the in crowd, never having felt peer pressure, staying home nights an weekends to read lol,  way more etc.,) So then it Never would occur to me to want to CHANGE my son, so acceptance of all individuals idiosyncracies makes life fun....it seems to me that souls travel together... in families - that it works best this way.

my two cents.

This post was last modified: 10-23-2012 04:20 PM by windy.

  

Okay first off stay calm as medical personal will arrive shortly to give your husband an Anti-Asperger-Syndrome shot that should start working within 24 to 48 hours !

Mario, be nice. What she really needs right now is information and education.

That's actually very funny. Clever humor.  D_Olson is right though, not appropriate for this thread. I shouldn't even be grinning and chuckling to myself.

This post was last modified: 10-23-2012 10:09 PM by 142857.

Here's your book tip: Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford.
My personal view is that it gives you the best insight from a nonautistic wife-aspie husband pov.
The book has even 10th anniversary next month ...

I apologize but It offended me that the OP acted like her husband had cancer or something ....

NOTE:  The person (OP) did NOT come back (yet)

How did you come to this conclusion?

Not a thing wrong with being an Autist.

He hasnt changed....you have

Thank you Windy, it's nice to be reminded that my rudeness chased off this member ... I hate having to deal with a guilty conscience

been less than a day.

maybe she just calmed down

I hope I didn't chase her off with my rudeness, resulting in the two breaking up because she never gotten the right info about Asperger's ,which is all my fault ...

I hope I didn't chase her off with my rudeness, resulting in the two breaking up because she never gotten the right info about Asperger's ,which is all my fault ...

Stop that. Your comment was nothing more than a misplaced joke. If it led to them breaking up, then the marriage would have to have been on shaky ground to begin with.