Dear Folks,

I'm 32 and on Wednesday spent a day at a neurologist's office doing various tests and having a neurological exam.  After all this, the doctor asked to speak with my mother, so I called her at home and he asked her this question and that.  At the end of it all, he said he was "very certain" that I had mild autism / AS.  

I went to this exam more or less because my therapist (an LCSW) asked me to.  A previous therapist tried telling me I had AS a few years ago and gave me an electronic book of advice for adults with AS.  It mostly had advice like "don't run in the street, remember to bathe".  I already knew about those things, and she knew I knew, so I didn't take her diagnosis very seriously.  

This neuro business seems less nonsensey, less diagnosis-of-the-monthy.  He showed me that I scored in the first percentile on the "facial emotion" test, etc.  But I still feel strange about it.

My question for you all -- if you choose to accept it -- is this: is this a meaningful diagnosis at my age?  And if I have my therapist (who does not specialize in ASD stuff) talk to her compadres and see what they recommend I look into, will there be anything helpful or even possibly meaningful in all that?  Or will it be a lot of smiling and nodding and saying "YEAH...so...it can be really hard to remember to wear pants!  But you should try to remember, because if you don't, people will think you're odd!  Now, on to non-verbal cues...if you try to talk to a stranger and she turns her back and starts sobbing, she may not want to talk to you!"  I'm not making fun of people who may get benefit from such reminders.  I'm referring to my previous experience dealing with a professional who gave me a giant list of such information that she should have known I already had mastered.

Background: my life has been extremely unpleasant.  Details on request, I guess.

So...should I look into this stuff at all seriously?  Or ignore the diagnosis?  Or...well, does anyone have any advice about this situation?

I'll be grateful if anyone cares to share their thoughts or experience on this.  

Thank you,
John

This post was last modified: 09-21-2012 11:13 PM by batiushkov.

If your life has been unpleasant, perhaps another perspective could help you to improve your future.  What is the worst that could happen?  Wasted time, I suppose.  

Find some new books! Tony Atwood is a good place to start.  

Best of luck, and welcome to AFF.

Books may be very helpful, and it will help you understand how/if AS impacts your life or social interactions. This could help with gaining closure about failed relationships, or personal oddities.

And AFF is also a good place to look around

You can ask questions about specific issues you might have right here on AFF. Therapy of the type you describe may not be as helpful. I find that just reading threads here on AFF helps me understand myself better.

Hi John, it's nice to meet you.  I didn't find out I was Aspie until I was in my mid-40's.  Before that time I learned how to cope with my "eccentricities" and developed a pretty tough hide to the slings and arrows of prejudicial people.  My diagnosis merely explained a lot, it didn't change who I am.  Like you, I haven't had to be reminded to bathe since I was five years old!  (Although I do prefer showers, so I can wash my long hair easier.)  I don't run amok across streets, and successfully raised a child (also Aspie, currently doing her Bachelor of Science at university) and held down a pretty good career.  In between I'm also a published and award-winning author.  So don't let them belittle you by suggesting you're some sort of re-tard simply because you're mildly autistic!  That's far from the truth.  We are amongst the most creative and insightful people on earth.  
Alison
Aspie and Proud!

Talking to an aspie IRL is like weeks of therapy to me.

Thanks for all the replies.

The unpleasant thing is that, diagnosis or no, I can see that I have...a number of the traits it's possible to see in yourself (I have no idea how an asp or non-asp responds to labiofacial poking or whatever).  The ones that are maybe not always so awesome or helpful.  But I don't see any of the "good stuff" .  If it has to be in "asp" terms (I always think of snakes when I read about "aspies"), I feel more like a failed neurotypical than anyone creative or insightful.  

Why?  I have professional training and an "advanced degree" in a field in which creativity and insight are said to be valued.  And my friends and anyone I can talk to in private seem to take the stuff I come up with seriously.  Same at conferences -- very positive responses to what I can offer in a public forum.  Publication -- forget it.  The stuff I offer has something distasteful about it that makes it unacceptable.  It's nothing personal and no one has ever been hateful about what I submit -- it's just WRONG.  And while I guess it doesn't matter, it's more than frustrating that despite years of trying to imitate the surface of what they find desirable, I can't do it.  

Alison, when I used "bathe", I meant it in the wider sense (which I see is not QUITE attested even in the OED, so maybe I made it up) "to wash oneself in any way; to take a bath or shower", so I didn't mean to exclude people who take showers.  I meant mostly showers myself.

Is running amok across streets something people do?

Before I figured out that I am probably autistic I had thought that my deficits were the result of a dysfunctional childhood, or possibly some kind of selective brain damage from measles encephalitis when I was 3 or 4 years old. And my talents with numbers and my ability to memorise stuff and do well professionally as a computer programmer were down to my own special brand of awesomeness.

Of course now I realise that I am just a typical person on the spectrum, and I've learned to see myself in a whole new light.

I'm familiar with that usage.  People have odd ideas about lexicographers, as if they generate new words for people to use and define old words, and that no one else is allowed to do that or something.  Not really.

Yeah, I sort of guessed that.  I was merely being facetious, something I do a lot of.  Since my splinter savantism is hyperlexia (facility with the written word) I do tend to play with them a LOT, as anybody on this forum who knows me well will most likely attest to.  

By the way, we refer to ourselves as "Aspies", rather than asps.  That is your first lesson, Young Grasshopper! LOL

Alison

LOL, pretty much the same here.  Although in my case I just thought the rest of the world was out of step with me!  (How's that for self-centred? )  And because I was the eldest, and both my parents were raised as only children, they didn't know I was in any way odd either.  Leaving my youngers sisters scrambling to try and "be like Alison".  Poor little NTs!  I think by the time the third sister was born, my parents were beginning to realize it was ME that differed from the norm, rather than them.

Alison

I also grew up not knowing that I'm an Aspie.  I didn't figure it out until I was 21 and didn't get officially diagnosed until I was 22.  The most important thing to understand about autism is that every case is different.  That's why the AS diagnostic criteria require two out of four social differences and one out of four special interests/repetitive behaviors.  There's no single criterion that all Aspies meet.  When I read through Tony Attwood's book, I found that some sections fit my experiences and explained a lot, while others didn't really describe me much at all.  So, the trick is to figure out which autistic traits describe you and which don't, not to try to fit yourself into a mold and assume that just because you're autistic you must possess every difference or behavior associated with autism.

As far as what a diagnosis can do for you, in my case, it helped provide understanding that certain things are due to innate differences in how my brain is built, not character flaws.  For example, I have a deficit known as prosopagnosia that makes it difficult for me to remember and recognize people's faces, which was previously assumed to be simply not paying attention to other people.  I have differences in sensory perception that (among other issues) cause me to experience wearing certain types of clothing as highly aversive.  I was viewed as simply being stubborn and immature.  Depending on what autistic traits you have, you may benefit from disability accommodations or services to help you improve in areas where your aptitude is weaker.  Also, having the label means that you can't legally be discriminated against because of your autistic traits unless they can be shown to prevent you from being able to do your job.

really? how so? Its seems like autist traits are main reasons aspies would get fired, not necessarily because they are doing a bad job either. For example, not being personable enough seems like a haven for discrimination.

This post was last modified: 09-23-2012 11:36 PM by sg1008.

If an employer uses a criterion that disproportionately affects people of a particular group (defined by race, gender, religion, disability, sexual orientation, etc.), that criterion is said to have a "disparate impact" and can be found to discriminatory and therefore illegal, unless it is relevant to the person's ability to do the job.  For example, if an employer adopted a policy that they didn't hire anyone who came to their job interview in a skirt, it would be considered to have a disparate impact because those excluded would be almost exclusively women.  Since it would have no bearing on the person's ability to do the job, the employer would almost certainly be found to be engaging in illegal discrimination.

I haven't specifically heard about it being applied to autism, but the law does prohibit disparate impacts on the basis of disability.  Something like not being "personable" would be in the gray area to some degree, since they'd probably claim that it is relevant to the job.  However, if they, say, passed over an autistic applicant because the person had esoteric interests or hobbies, then there would probably be a very strong case for a discrimination complaint.  Of course, you'd have to be able to prove that that was actually the reason why they didn't hire you, which can be difficult considering that most employers don't discuss the reasons behind their hiring decisions.

Bear in mind 'the law' differs from place to place.