I've got 2 girls, 1 who is 10 and 1 who is just turning 8 in a couple of days. The youngest we just officially went through the process of getting her officially diagnosed as Aspie because reading over all of the descriptions, information and typical behavior we were left going omg that's soooooo her! She seems like your almost perfect textbook case if your reading over descriptions and frankly she's been pretty easy for us to manage most times.

The oldest daughter on the other hand, has also been reviewed for Aspie, Autism and anything else. After meeting with the counselor yesterday, she also is apparently an Aspie. However, I really don't buy it, I know that children are really different, but this seems absolutely nuts. While most Aspie's are typically very smart, oldest daughter struggles majorly in academics. We are doing more educational testing later this month because I'm not satisfied with the answer of Aspie for her, but I wonder if behaviors from an Asperger's child could rub off on another child?

From reading over everything trying to find answers, disorganized schizophrenia fit better for oldest, then I stumbled across mild retardation (not sure if this is still the technical acceptable term) and it fits her almost to a "T". However, from what I'm finding of research Aspie and MR do not go together at all. Oldest does have NF1, which does have a slighly higher rate of having complications with ADHD, learning disorders and MR of which she is ADHD and does have learning disorders so it wouldn't be impossible for MR to be there too I think.

She has issues with things like academics, social relationships, she has never really met a stranger (all kids she meets immediately after meeting are her friend), she'll give her entire life story to someone after just saying hello! Keeping her focused on anything for more than 2-3 minutes can be very difficult, she has extreme issues with reading, and basic math and teaching new academic concepts takes a very, very, very long time and requires a lot of repetition and patience to ever finally get through.

I'm just at a huge loss, because deep down the diagnosis of Aspie for oldest daughter just does not make me comfortable at all. While a lot of it is based upon answers to those sheets that we as her parents have filled out, I have to wonder if it's a highly impressionable child if they are just learning behavior from the other child that could make it appear that they have Aspie behaviors when they really don't (I really hope this makes some sense and isn't just a confusing mess).

Any insight, ideas or suggestions that anyone has would be really great and I would greatly appreciate it.

If you dont trust the DX of your current Dr., find another one

All Autists are different in our traits and how we deal with and appear to the world

If your daughters have an ASD DX, I can understand your not wanting to accept it. Denial is one of the steps a lot of us go through, before acceptance


Advice:  see another Dr., dont mention the current DX, and just see what a different Dr's DX is

welcome to AFF

I do not believe that Autist behaviour rubs off or runbs onto others. Hope that helps

Aspies are not necessarily academically bright. The intensity of interest in certain thyings means that those who are quite bright naturally can become very gifted at certain subjects, and that is what has created the myth. Aspies are identified by their modes of social interaction, not by their IQ

Just because your oldest daughter struggles academically does not mean that she is intellectually challenged. During my early years at school some of my teachers thought I was MR, I really struggled academically. ADHD in particular can affect a child's academic performance - you say that keeping her focused for more than 2-3 minutes is extremely difficult: this is likely affecting her academic performance.

Sounds a little like my kids.  Oldest has AS with attention problems.  It makes it harder to learn, but he is incredibly bright.  Never met a stranger (lack of social skills, can't read social cues), struggles academically, takes a long time to learn something new.  

Does your daughter have any other AS traits?  Sensory hyper/hyposensitive, stimming (handflapping/toewalking), etc.?  

ADHD is very common with AS, and with AS being genetic it makes sense IMO that your oldest daughter may have it as well.  My kids with AS are very different - one is very gregarious with ADHD, the other introverted without ADHD.  The only reason my youngest didn't inherit it is because he is adopted!  

It never hurts to get a second opinion, though.  Good luck!

Both of my girls have ADHD also, so that partially explains the lack of attention but they are also taking meds to help with that as well so it's not being left untreated and ignored. Our house before morning meds can be a terrifying place to be, even the poor cat hides lol.

I don't agree that it's denial either as someone mentioned. Sorry but thinking that a child has a "worse" condition isn't typically with denial. Denial would be saying I absolutely disagree and my child is perfectly normal no matter what doctors say. It's a matter of just wanting the absolute best diagnosis for her, and helping her to achieve her own personal maximum.

After talking to the speech therapist and doing more research, it looks like the Aspie might be on the nose, but there is something comorbid that is existing and creating some of her problems. So once we start working on figuring out what those comorbid issues are I think that she actually might be ok. *crosses fingers*

I definitely appreciate the input from you all it has been quite helpful.

I was suspected of being mentally challenged as a young boy. I was also and am dyslexic and had a lisp