All my life i have been introverted and felt mis-understood. As a child i always had some friends, but i was also very content to play by myself.
I asked my mum to go to therapy (which was very hard for me, i avoided asking for a month) and have a docs appointment which i am worried i will make a fool of myself in. Do i maybe have aspergers ?

My family travelled alot, i was also quite well protected by my family, very innocent and naive, and didnt seem to know alot of things that other kids my age knew. I didnt learn to tie my shoes until i was a teenager, i was fussy about wearing strap shoes. I was fussy about alot of things; temperature, food, clothes, people sitting next to me (accidental touches!), and noise; i always shut doors as a rule, and got angry if others didnt.
I always had some friends, my mum arranged playdates until i was almost a teen; I always smiled and liked to play, i dont think i had problems with that.
If i had to have an obsession it would be with playing; board games, card games, video games, sports, running games or whatever, i loved games, involving other people i often sort of just got carried away. My parents put me in a few summer sports camps, i would stand or sit on my own, but when games were played i had no problem joining in. I also liked fantasy (scifi) books/video games/tv and had a yu-gi-oh card collection and short lived warhammer collection (2-4 years).
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I always wanted to move away from home and be rich and famous (hehe), but couldnt even pass high school and now barely leave my room!
A teacher in middle school gave us all a goodbye speech, she said positive things about the other kids, but to me she seemed quite serious and said that i dont express myself; because i had seemed happy but had cried intensely once in the first year cause the other kids made fun of me (teasing, wasnt exactly cruel, i just didnt understand, they are nice ppl), and had done other things, like twisted my ankles (sprained ligaments, swelled up) where i said it was fine and just biked home. In high school the other kids called me loner or weird; but they liked me because i was friendly. I knew them all and was nice regardless, but avoided most of them and stuck to my small group of friends. If i joined a group chat that got popular i often found people would form a group ring, and because i stand back, i often literally have people just stand right in front of me like i dont exist.

I get the idea that i would stare at other kids when i was a kid. In all my life i never really associated sports with being sociable, even as a teen i didnt talk to the other players except for the bare minimum, but they also spoke a language that i couldnt speak with my accent. .xXx. -- I was always shy, i remember hiding behind my mum alot when i was younger, now i am older i am very socially conscious to the point where i am avoidant and clumsy.
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I was smart too, could fix random crap that my parents couldnt, even though i was a little kid, my parents said i was good with puzzles and that sort of thing, but i never remember enjoying a puzzle; i liked maths and engineering (until recently). *-* I find things somewhat chaotic, if i play a strategic video game i will have to organize my structures in rows and such. Sometimes have strong OCD tendencies. I also have a high pain tolerance (easy for me to ignore pain); was very hyperactive and would never get tired if i was playing.

Most importantly i have problems expressing myself. If i try to be introspective i often find myself thinking "I dont know" - as if i cant find out my own opinion about whatever it is and start getting overwhelmed and therefore have to change the topic of thought. -- ... I have also become very complacent, often doing everything for other people, but now have started to become a negative and irritable person.

My mum once watched a program about autism and during the commercial she turned to me and said i must be autistic; i think i said yes and smiled because i wanted to be special, but she didn't actually think i have it, just saw some correlations. --- I think i understand people and their expressions but often think back on situations where i will believe i misread them and screwed up.
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On the otherhand i can read facial expressions, come across as normal, care a lot about other people and their opinions, dont have an obvious interest like trains, understand most sarcasm, use eye contact (reluctantly, as it is somewhat forced and very distracting), and dont remember having any obsessant routines.

I watched the videos of me as a kid; one showed me talking to my dad a few meters away without looking at him, i remember looking at him later and realizing he might not be able to hear me, he couldnt.

WAY TOO LONG; VERY SORRY AND THANK YOU; PLEASE COMMENT!!

Text resized. - d

This post was last modified: 08-12-2012 05:53 PM by d_olson27.

The lines and weird stuff inbetween was meant to make it easier to find your place, and the text/size makes it easier to read and seem like less text =)

This post was last modified: 08-11-2012 04:48 PM by NikenNak.

I can only say that a a diagnosis will tell you definitively.
The next thing comes with why? Why get a diagnosis? Because you want to find out? Why?
Because it will make a difference? How?
Once you get here then I think that it really will highlight the reasons you want to know and why it is important and waht difference it will make to your existence either way.

I cannot answer that a) from only one post, b) without having seen you, and c) without proper medical qualification (on my part).
Just have a look around here and you'll get a feeling, I think.

Thank you both for your responses.
Actually i wasnt planning on telling my doctor i think i have aspergers, i will mention having depressive symptoms and social/emotional problems and am hoping she will hence give me reference to a therapist (thus im insured). Because for some reason im somewhat terrified of making a fool of myself there, i feel like i already have. I would try and talk to the therapist about this stuff, but im regretting it already because i don't think i will be understood by the therapist either...
I will check out the other posts and see if i can relate, but i dont know the difference between an aspie thing and a normal thing cause i really have no idea what is normal.

You have not made a fool of yourself and many people ask the same questions. The thing is there is no one defined Aspie that everyone fits in with.

text is too small in the OP.

regardless

welcome

If I am not mistaken an Aspie DX goes away when the new DSM becomes official

We will be folded into the HFA label

This post was last modified: 08-12-2012 12:33 AM by skyblue1 .

Hi NikenNak, you sound exactly like I was growing up (apart from the sports stuff, I never liked mixing with others at ALL).  From a quick read of your description, I'd ask the doctor about Aspergers and say you saw a programme about it on tv which you related to.  A lot of doctors will just try for the one-size-fits-all approach and if you say you feel depressed, he/she will probably just treat you for that without delving deeper.  The more info you can give, the more accurate the diagnosis.  I'd suggest you print out your description of yourself and take it along (although make the text bigger, it is very hard to read as is) and give that to the doctor as well.  I thought I was "normal" for the first 43 years of my life, and it was just everybody else who was odd!
Alison

This post was last modified: 08-12-2012 04:41 AM by Alison.

I'm sorry but could you make your text a wee little bit bigger?

Thank you very much =) Sounds like a good idea.
Ive been considering reading off of a script so that i will say exactly want i want said, otherwise i will feel mis-understood again... =(


To the rest of you; I CANT EDIT IT AGAIN; IT WONT LET ME ! =)
The size will have to remain the same ! Hehe, i dont think anybody actually read it all anyway, but i appreciate it all of you =)

Welcome to AFF, first of all.

You can only edit your posts for 5 minutes after posting. If you need to change it after that, you'll need to contact a moderator or report your post.

Since I saw that you attempted to resize the text, I'll go ahead and do it.

Me too!  I just thought that I was a typical, socially challenged nerd with a few extra quirks and a tendency to become anxious/depressed.  For a while, I thought I was dissociating.  I just sort of "check out" periodically.  Now I know that this is normal for someone on the spectrum.  I never even considered that my sensory stuff might have something to do with the rest of my quirks.  I talked to a psychologist about these issues as a teen, and he totally missed it.  If he suspected I had AS, he kept it to himself.    

To me, being a nerd meant I was normal, and everyone else was weird.  

I never would have gotten a DX if i didn't have a child who received his DX first.  Now, looking back at my family, it makes so much sense.  My Grandfather had strong traits, my mother and her siblings have traits, and my cousins have traits.  Some are more pronounced than others, most probably wouldn't qualify for a DX, but it is obvious where it comes from.

Welcome.

Since we all pretty much have ocd, i'm fairly certain that we all read your'e text entirely.

There are test to know if you are on the spectrum. While they are not and should not be taken as a diagnostic tool, it can give you a pretty good idea.

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthre...?tid=15328

Ocd = obsessive compulsive disorder, Vampslord?  I don't have that.
Alison