Good Day to all of you,

I really don't know if I am in the right place or not, but my life is not getting better and I am at my wits ends on what to do!

I have gone over numerous websites now which have described the symptoms of AS and I have also done the various online tests. A great many of the symptoms are what I experience in my day to day life. As I have got older, I have tried to find my niche in life, and when I do think that I am on the right track then I do something to derail myself and hit rock bottom. I am so tired of trying to start all over again!

I know I am not stupid, and so I went and took a Mensa test this past weekend, I was shocked when they told me that I had passed! I am actually still in shock and instead of being excited about this achievement it has depressed me. This has now made me think about the stupid things that I have done in my life!

Why do clever people do stupid things?

I am 39 now and don't have a single friend in my life. I am married, and my husband has been understanding, but I fear that his understanding might be nearing the end now! (BTW I am also gay which has also added onto my load in life)

He has looked at the symptoms and told me that a lot of them read like my horoscope, I so desperately want to find a reason for why I am the way I am, but I am scared to approach a psychologist as I fear what the results would be!

Any advice or insights would be most welcome.

Hi Mangala

I can still hear the sound of my mother's voice ringing in my ears: "You're so smart, why can't you .... ?!"  

Insert whatever skill you like - manage time, make friends, not melt down in public.  Learning to drive, that was tough.  

There are some great relationship books out there for partners of people with AS, I'd encourage you to direct your husband to those to help him understand you better.

A DX doesn't change who you are.  It is scary, though.  I'd encourage you to at least seek treatment for any comorbids common with AS, like anxiety and depression.

Everyone does stupid things and everyone does terrible things.

I would suggest getting a DX so that you can know whether you are aspie or not for sure and that people believe you.

I think you should not seek to prove anything to anyone, even intimate confessions, medical or desperate psychological tests . From what you've learned, you can take several conclusions and new directions for your everyday life, the results will come later. Don't endanger your relationship with your husband , in favor of a "truth" or any diagnosis, before you know what will really decide for yourself .Try to invest friendship in this guy who seems to be a good person. Then a prudent psychological or psychiatric support can help unleash the reorganization of life, whatever direction you will give to her.

Don't put yourself down. I often ask myself in a similar way how it can be so difficult to "function" in normal life, when your (my) IQ seems to "promise" much more.
On the other hand, you can see yourself as an explorer, analyzing the curious ways of the "NT" world - there's so much to find out ...

books to read: Kate fox: Watching the English (if applicable)

Welcome aboard, have a drink, stay for a while.  Nice to meet you!

I do stupid things every single day of my life.  It's part of the human condition, and as Aspies, we just tend to obsess over it too much, rather than laughing it off like Neurotypicals tend to do.  Don't stress so much.  You sound like a really nice person, and personally I find the friends I've made on this site to be far preferable to those in "real life".  Apart from my husband, who is my BFF.  

Alison

This post was last modified: 08-07-2012 08:23 AM by Alison.