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Current time: 05-23-2013, 01:14 AM
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Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a broom closet under the stairs in the corner of the front door of the house half a block down the street called private drive
You know the place..... right ?
well anyway, back then life was going SWELL! and everything was just PEACHY!
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
I can hear my fat *** cousin stomping his way down the stairs
Awww - Big fat idiot cousin!
Every single morning
It was driving me crazy
I said to my uncle
I said "Hey, I had weird dream about a flying motorcycle last night"
And my huge, over weight Uncle
he just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And he leaned right down next to me
And he said "There's no such thing as magic!"
And then he locked me up in my broom closet
And forced me to stay in there until the letter from no one arrived in the mail...
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that house and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and there’s a dead girl hunting the girls bathroom
and some evil dark wizard wants me dead
Where the deepest laws of magic would be explained and I'm the hopes of an entire hidden wizardry world
Wacka wacka doo doo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because a few days later a huge dumb oaf named Hagrid come and tells me I'm a wizard...
I was a little shocked at first but at least I get a wand
only at Hogwarts
You know, I'd never been on a wizarding train before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit next to a red headed kid
who failed to turn his stupid fat rat yellow
And then the chocolate frog i was about to eat
flies out of the train's window
And then some rich little spoiled brat
Who had two ugly cronies
who's name were Crap and Boyle s (I think)
Oh and the blonde kid's name was Draco
Which the red headed kid though was a funny name
You know why?
'Cause It's a stupid NAME!
And then there was a know it all named Hermione
Who wont leave us alone!
Draco's a future death eater!
Hermione and Ron FIGHT A LOT!
Really really Fight A LOT!
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
So I sail across this great black lake
off to the great castle of Hogwarts
Draggin' along my big huge freaking trunk
And my all my spell books and extra quails and parchment
And then I met an intimidating old witch
Who told us the sorting will soon begin
We all though we had to pass some test
but instead I get sorted into griffyindore house
It's OK, they're COOL!
Well, I arrived into my room
And I couldn't sleep that night
But the next morning me and Ron were late
For this a****** named Snape's potion class..
Where would I go for a bezor? He asked me
I say "hell if I know?"
"1000 points from griffyndore house!"
no fair huh?
So, finally the class ends and me and Ron head our way too Transfiguration class
and guess what? Were LATE!
So anyway, the teacher turns back from a cat
And I'm like "Hey, that was totally awesome!"
"perhaps I shall turn you or Mr Weasley into a pocket watch"
that was one of you two will show up in time"
And I'm like "okay..."
And then we started the lesson for today..
And I... did... terrible..
Except for Neville who has no confidence
none at all I tell you....
Not quite finished yet cause I still got a long ways to go since Weird Al's version was 11 minutes long...
This is another one that I wrote in less than 30 minutes and though it was funny :p lol
Except for Neville who has no confidence
none at all I tell you....
Anyways me and Ron and Hermoine were reading the morning Prophet
Yes someone did attempt to break into this vault
The same vault the Sorcerer's stone was in
And now we got a mystery on our hands
And you know what I did ?
I'll tell you what!
It did this...
"Went on with rest of my day no caring"
"Then went to see Halfwit"
"Damn your rock cakes!"
Only at Hogwarts
Well, to cut a long story short, It was Professor Qurril and Voldemort
But Nobody knew cause he keeps studdering
And he also the one who let the troll in
And I decided to get to the bottom of this mystery
So one night after me and Ron became friends with Hermoine
After our encounter with the huge smelly troll
We SAW A KILLER THREE HEADED DOG!
And we ran all the back to our dormitory
Then Hermione says she'd notice the dog standing on something
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
Some sort of trapped door
Then around Christmas I get a strange present
some sort of invisibility cloak
and this came from no one
Then Hagrid slips out the killer dog was his
I said "You got to be kidding me"
He said "No, it's name is fluffy"
I said "You got to be really kidding me?"
He said "Wait a minute,I shouldn't had told you that"
I said "No, it's too late now"
he said "Well, in that case - in that case,Nicholas Flamal?"
I says ".....................what?"
He says ".....I got a dragon"
So the three of us sneak out later that night to see hagrid's dragon
And it immediately blows fire into hagrids face and start bitin' us all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, it was just going crazy
It was tearin' us apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little albino boy decided to go to Professor Mcgonagal and she got unto us
I believe it went a little something like this . . .
Detention! for all four of you
wait professor I heard you wrong
all for of us?
yes Malfoy you heard me right
you will do your detention
and you will do it with Hagrid
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)
So were out into the forbidden forest with this Half witted man
and his wuss of a dog
And as luck would have it, I meet Voldemort
and some creature named Bane
And the mystery and the plot thickens
I'll never forget the first thing bane said to me.
it said "That was that the dark Lord you met Harry!"
That's when I knew there was a mystery
And I'd have to get to the bottom of it
We went on a little adventure to save hagrid
from getting into trouble with his stupid dragon
And let me tell you it wasn't easy my friends
Hagrid vowed to never keep a dragon as a pet
And the children were safe once again
But then one day after getting on my house's quiditch team
i almost fell from my broom in the middle of the match
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
And Hermione say Snape muttering something
So now we think Snapes doing fishy things
But that's just the beginning of it
Still unfinished and a quarter more song left to do.....
Thanks I need to rewrite some parts and it's really a parody of both movie and book, but it's been a while since I read Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone so I may have gotten a few things mixed up and missed a some parts, but at least I've gotten this far lol