Hi all

I'm new to the site and to be honest i'm not sure where to start or how it'll all come out - I'm not very good at explaining myself . . Here goes:

I have come to this point, as recently, my children - who act very differently - are starting the process to be assessed for ASD, AS, ADHD (who knows if anything else). Anyway,

I desperately want to communicate better. If it's someone I know or not, i'm always trying to avoid conversations and alot of the time can't really keep up. If i'm out and about and see someone I know, I generally avoid them or pretend i've not seen them as it's easier than the awkwardness that would come after the initial "hello, how are you" lines.

I am a stay at home mum and find I will avoid going to the shops, unless i've got the children with me. They can sometimes be a focus for the conversation to last longer.

When I worked, I always had a job that meant I would work by myself during the day, even though I came accross lots of people in the day. I've learned to 'look like i'm ok' but always felt 'odd' as long as I can remember.

I can look at someone I know in the eyes, but for a short time. But whilst i've been seeing these professionals with the children i've found i'm not looking at them for most of the discussion unless i've forced myself to and then I glare through them rather than at them.

I am a worrier. I worry about allsorts. Used to have to sleep in a back bedroom as where we lived it was a cut-through for people after a night out and generally fights would start and I just couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks after.

I have been on AD/Anxiety tablets for years - before my children were even born. And my youngest is 12.

My hubby tells me I never understand storylines, don't understand jokes and take everything as a general 'half empty glass'  situation.

I am only comfortable to talk openly when i'm with my little group of people and just can't accept everybody. Sometimes, I can't be nice just to please someone and must seem so rude - but I don't want to be two-faced.

I have this huge fear or admiration for people in authority and people high up in a company. I blush when speaking to them and my word leave me. When questioning things to teachers about my kids, I feel awful and just nod - when really, i'm aware I need to fight a little harder for them.

I talk really loud all the time apparently - but I don't really see it myself.

I have to wear sunglasses when out and about, as even a little glimmer of sun makes me squint and hurst my eyes.

This is going to sound awful but I only want to hug people on my terms. Sometimes if someone hugs me I just go stiff and cringe.

School days were awful, and in a way it's still the same - I was usually by myself at breaks and always tried to 'fit in' but could never, so I gave up and got used to being by myself.

I got bullied at high school, which made my senior years even more stressful.

I used to keep graphs and charts of various things. ie how many red cars in rd, how many windows had stained glass, car registration details - I know the registration numbers of all the cars i've been in, since being a child (i'm 3 now) and my recall of phone numbers and dates of birth is unbelievable.

Wow, I seem to have gone on and on, sorry!

Any advice is really welcome and so appreciated as I just don't know what to do for the best.

Social anxiety & awkwardness + hyper- and hypo-sensitivity to sensory stimulus + obsessive collection of data + lack of eye contact + extreme honsty / lack of tact + dislike of conversation =........ASPERGER'S SYNDROME.

You don't need to DO anything, because all of this isn't what you do, it's who you are.

Welcome aboard

Thank you

Guess, I just wondered if it is worth me speaking to my doctor, who keeps wondering WHY i've been on meds for so long, but never referred me for 'anything' and just signs my repeat prescription.

I would dearly love to work again but just really struggling with the thought of the awkwardness, which makes me back off - hubby doesn't realise (i've tried to keep it to myself) just how 'different' I feel. I can't explain it very well and can't do 'deep and meaningful' conversations.

Welcome to AFF! There are a lot of like-minded people here, It sounds like you have Asperger's but I can't diagnose especially online lol, but I can relate to a lot of what you said (though i'm not married and i don't have kids).

I was much relieved to know I had Asperger's and could finally start to put my life in good perspective, understand my strengths and weaknesses, and define who I am while ignoring the "noise" from others about who I am supposed to be. I have also found a LOT of support on AFF and I hope you do to

This post was last modified: 07-11-2012 03:39 PM by sg1008.

Thank you.

I think this site may well become a local place for me. Feel like I need to gather myself together but just so unorganised with myself. Yet I have no problems controlling others!

Just off to 'add to favourites'

I'm not the best to give advice on this type of thing, but perhaps if you received a diagnosis of Asperger's you could tackle some of your sensory and social anxiety issues while weaning off of your anxiety meds. They probably take a toll on your body chemistry after awhile, and I would try anything to get off them if possible-- but then again I have an aversion to medication so my opinion is biased.

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I'm not the best to give advice on this type of thing, but perhaps if you received a diagnosis of Asperger's you could tackle some of your sensory and social anxiety issues while weaning off of your anxiety meds. They probably take a toll on your body chemistry after awhile, and I would try anything to get off them if possible-- but then again I have an aversion to medication so my opinion is biased.
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I'd love to be off the meds as I don't even think they're working anyway - it's certainly not helping at the moment. I'm constantly picking at my head or pulling underneath my hair out

I'll try anything - as long as I don't have to look at someone I don't know, speak in a group situation or have to stand up in front of people I don't know. . !!

I can identify with a lot of what you described.  In addition to sunglasses, if you are sensitive to noise, earplugs can be a great thing to keep in your purse.  They come in flesh colors, and if you have longer hair nobody will notice.  

Welcome

Thank You and I feel a little more 'normal' already. I've read so much on the site today and so pleased it's used and up to date

Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist to be assessed for AS. This will help you with access to work - your vocabulary suggests you live in the UK, so you'll get help in finding work if needed, and protection from discrimination over matters relating to Asperger's.

Can I just go in and ask the doctor to do that? He will probably think I'm really cheeky. I'll build up some courage first. If it will help me to gain employment etc then I'll write it down first and just read it off when I'm there. Yes, I'm in the uk.

Some good books for women with AS:

Rudy Simone's "Aspergirls"

Leanne Holiday Wiley's "Pretending to be Normal"

Anything by Temple Grandin

Tony Atwood's book about girls on the spectrum

All great places to start

are those books good for guys too?

In response to your first question, yes you can. That's what I did.

Some good books for women with AS:

Rudy Simone's "Aspergirls"

Leanne Holiday Wiley's "Pretending to be Normal"

Anything by Temple Grandin

Tony Atwood's book about girls on the spectrum

All great places to start

Great. I'll search for them at the library tomorrow. Thank you