No, I'm not talking about sexism committed against the poor vagina bearers. Not even me xD

I'm talking about sexism FOR the vagina bearers (which is still against us in my book, because it can be viewed as offensive). I don't want anyone to biased for me. I don't want people to act like I'm some kind of defenseless baby who also isn't responsible for their actions.

Anyway.

It makes me sick to my stomach that a woman can abuse a man. (Sometimes, they can even rape a man!). It makes me sick to my stomach that a victim can be blamed, long as they're a man...

There are too many cases where a man is abused and they don't get help because they're a guy- where suddenly it's the victim's fault for not fleeing. Does not fleeing mean they like it? Does it mean they deserve it? Even if I was a prick and thought they had blame, I'd still put the same amount on the abuser for doing it as I would if it was the abusers first time and the victim fleed after immediately. Because they still did it.
(To put it into perspective... let's say a victim magically orbed out of the way of an attack. The abuser is still guilty of TRYING to do something to them... so when the victim stays and they get to do it.. of course it is my view that they're still guilty of what they did).

Did you know that as a woman you can stand up in court, admit to kicking, hitting, punching, bludgeoning, and spitting on your partner, and be told you were coerced and it's clearly your man who was an abuser? (You got mad and called the cops on him because he restrained you and you didn't like the physical force). And if you keep trying to take back your claim and do the right thing, let's say they drop the whole "you were coerced" thing. They go with saying he should have left you when you started showing your abusive side and that he's responsible for having restrained you. (Wonder what they would've said in a gay relationship involving a stronger man and a weaker man <the stronger one being able to restrain the weaker one>

This makes me sick to my stomach.

Did you know that as a man you can be pushed to the point of being suicidal and dial 911, but if on that 911 call, you push your wife after she hit you in the chest, you can be arrested and told you aren't suicidal, that the hundreds of cuts on your arm weren't **** deep enough? Did you know that?

I do. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Also, if you hit someone, don't *** if they get mad and want to hit you back because you have breasts and a vagina and claim you're allowed to hit them and they're not allowed to hit you. If you do not have a vagina and you are a bag of flesh possessing a dick instead, don't say that the other thing with breasts and a vagina is allowed to hit the thing possessing a dick and the thing possessing a dick can't get mad and want to hit back. I'd also, -whether you are a thing with breasts and a vagina or a bag of flesh possessing a dick- prefer you not continue using force anyway. Let it end?

I hate that someone can be one of those *** quick to assault and batter someone because they have weak personalities and don't really deserve much for that  but if you're a guy who is pretty much non violent and get mad at a girl one day and hit her you deserve anything you get. Bullshit. Touch one, you're a woman beater.. why aren't girls man beaters?

I hate that in some places it's so easy to get someone convicted of something if they're a guy. Did you know that Denver once had half of it's rape accusations false? That's because the girls think they can accuse any man of rape. I wonder how many accusations there were...



You know how they say the only good racist is a dead one? These phrases might be exaggerations... but how about the only good sexist is a dead one? At least racism doesn't involve people being able to get away with horrid injustices because they're this color or that color (Okay it can but the person admits its just because they dont like the other color), or demonizing certain injustices into some horrid act because you're this color and it was against this color.

So don't go thinking that the domestic abuse statistics are right or anywhere near accurate and that special programs for women make sense. And don't be someone that puts vaginas on a pedastool... because if you're a piece of crap like that, I hate you. Sometimes people like you make me want to off myself. One person like you in this world is way too much and it's almost unbearable.


Also, next month is false allegations awareness month, where we become of men and women making false abuse allegations That's kinda related. We sure need one if any one city had a rate of 45% false rape accusations...

Oh yeah, you can even be banned from US soil because of these women. Getting mad and pushing the person back that caused you to be  suicidal... restraining someone... too many counts on your record and you become a high risk offender Looks like I won't be seeing him back in America any time soon. At least no close friendship ever developed...

Don't ask for details.

I also want to make it clear that I in no way harbor any misplaced anger towards the sex of women (guess I'd have to exclude myself in that anger?... *female*).. for some people's evil deeds. although I sometimes joke I feel like **** punting a couple of people to make up for the unfairness.

Most jurisdictions are charging both parties in domestic violence calls when any physical assault happens.  No, women should not be assaulting men and vice versa.

The problem is that abuse is not only physical - it can take other forms:  verbal, financial, psychological, emotional.  

For most cases, verbal abuse precedes the physical abuse.  So people need to know how to use self control to not escalate conflicts.  It is just better to walk away than to get into a fight even when provoked.  I try to keep verbal abuse and yelling out of my home.  We only yell if it is an emergency.  We do not raise our voices to yell to get the phone.  We try to communicate without blaming or insults.  Love is one thing but respect is another.  Not for everyone but this how I try to treat my husband.  http://powertochange.com/experience/sex-love/respect/

Unfortunately there is more information and help for women who are abused in relationships than men.  There are shelters for women and their children but none for men.  Men can be abused by male or female partners or by their families.  Even women could be used by their female partner.  

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/help/s...ersonality

This post was last modified: 05-26-2012 02:47 PM by M.

yeah this is a big problem. ive seen it happen more than once... abusive relationships are a strange thing...sometimes both are abusers of each other, but as soon as the man get physical he will be the one arrested fo' sho'...and if the woman is also abusive she will use that prejudice to threaten the man. and race can interfere- for example if the woman is white and her husband/boyfriend/partner/friend is not, there will likely be more prejudice against the man.

the justice system in the US is very messed up...if you're poor- 9 times out of 10 you are screwed. If you are a minority, you also have odds stacked against you. If you are gay, you have no domestic partnership protections (depending on the state i guess), and you probably won't get help. even if you are a white, wealthy, woman, you will likely face discrimination in the court room for having been in a violent relationship, and stigmatized by your family and friends alike. if you are a man, good luck.

ive been around some abusive personalities in my life...i wonder what other aspies do when they discover they're in an abusive relationship? It took me a long time to figure it out because abusive personalities are generally apologetic as well, and im a big big sucker for apologies...well either they are apologetic or they just claim they never did any wrong which confuses the **** out of me (because i want to give the benefit of the doubt, and i would hate to falsely accuse anyone of anything).
--
as for rape, whether or not its true, it should always be taken seriously (just as claims of abuse)...and i would rather a falsely accused person have to suffer a few months of proving their innocence than a rapist be let off the hook too soon. with DNA testing and rape kits its easier to create reasonable doubt if someone is indeed innocent...but still prejudice weighs heavily on the final verdict and depending on who the accuser is and who the accused is, odds can automatically move in and out of your favor.
--

you rant is completely reasonable and necessary...i wish more people were unnerved by it, then maybe some change would occur. :/

This post was last modified: 05-26-2012 03:12 PM by sg1008.

Yes and I have been on the pointy end of not abuse as you have suggested but certainly against bias in the courts because of my gender. I know that in Kalgoorlie there is a real problem with women attacking their big burly miner husbands.
The men do not know how to react so they take it. They don't talk about it because they are men and they ceertainly do not hit back. The women who do the attacking get away with it.

That said, it is better than the alternative i guess.

Good post Mel

NO IT IS NOT BETTER!!

You like many others have been brainwashed with a wall of feminist propaganda and that is the point of Mels post. I suggest you read it again.

This is not just happening in Kalgoorlie or even just in the westernised countries. Its a big problem in Africa and Asia as well but the truth is being swamped by the feminists.

For men there are no refuges, there's nobody to turn to, there's no understanding and theres no support. Just ,'oh well its better than the other way round, lets change the subject'

You live on the edge, going home at night wanting to see your kids and the women you love but you never know when she will turn. You defend, defend, defend and the more reasonable you are the worse it gets. The torture never stops. You keep trying until you get arrested (maybe for bruising her arms as you tried to restrain her from stabbing you) or until you die or until you walk away: and then you are accused of deserting your family.

Yet when a case does make the news its followed by a deluge of feminist propaganda.

Statistics on husband beating are hard to come by for many obvious reasons but all surveys agree that women are getting more violent.

Here are some old figures from a study in 1999 from the USA to get you thinking

Women are three times more likely than men to use weapons in spousal violence.
Women initiate most incidents of spousal violence.
Women commit most child abuse and most elder abuse.
Women hit their male children more frequently and more severely than they hit their female children.
Women commit most child murders and 64% of their victims are male children.
When women murder adults the majority of their victims are men.
Women commit 52% of spousal killings and are convicted of 41% of spousal murders.
Eighty two percent of people have their first experience of violence at the hands of women.

If you want to see where they got these figures from the full article is here. It is well worth a read

http://www.mensrights.com.au/page13q.htm

Accurate figures are hard to come by, but accounts from men can be found on the net. Here's a short one,

http://voices.yahoo.com/the-face-men-abu...74311.html

I particularily liked the last paragraph so I will end this rant with it and yes you have touched a nerve.

"Men's hearts and feelings are like women's hearts and feelings. They feel the same. It doesn't matter if that heart is covered with muscles or breasts, the pain cuts deeply and the losses crowd in. And it doesn't matter if the world thinks men don't feel. You still hurt."

It's not feminist propaganda. It's simply that men who are victims of abuse at the hands of women know what they could do to the woman, and refuse to do it.

I've been the victim of psychological abuse from a female coworker. Let me tell you, it took a lot of courage to report what she was doing to me. That had nothing to do with me thinking she had some sort of right to do whatever she wanted because of her gender. It was more that I wasn't sure what I could say. There was no one thing she did that seemed to me at the time like it was worth taking any action against. It finally took another person seeing the interaction and reporting it to management for anything serious to be done about it.

One more thing. Even though they're both bad, there is a difference between sexism and abuse. What was being described in the original post is abuse.

It's not refuse to do it, it's cannot do it. Clearly you have never been pushed hard enough to find that out. I cannot hit a women like many other men and when the woman realises this...

And to try to compare verbal abuse from a coworker with physical violence from the one you love and married and had children with is contemptable.

Its the sexists who are covering up the scale of the abuse.

Facepalm.

If the abuse happened mostly out in the open where everyone could see it, I might agree with you. The problem is that that only ever happens when the abuser gets confident enough to think they can get away with anything. Otherwise, what usually happens is authorities look at a large man reporting a petite woman abusing him, and they think it's totally ridiculous. He could snap her in half. They don't realize that the reason he doesn't is that he knows that he could, and doing so would open up a whole new can of worms.

I have no desire to argue with you because it is clear that you like so many people, know little about this. Please read all of the above and read more if you are really interested.

The feminist movement is incredibly well organised and powerful hence the USA had the Violence Against Women Act!!!!

I note that you are still using 'could', maybe you believe that you could strike your beloved in retaliation. I sincerely hope you never have to find out. I like many other men find out that we CANNOT.

(However I would have no qualms about seeing you outside if it were to come to that ) Do you get it now?

No. The OP is primarily describing the double standard regarding violence committed by women against men vs violence committed by men against women. That double standard is sexism.

There are cultures where it is not only acceptable for a man to physically abuse his wife, it is almost considered his duty to do so. I'd like to see that addressed more strongly by the authorities.

Men must be keeping quiet about all this abuse against them, because I have rarely heard about it. I've seen it happen once though, a woman violently attacking a man in the car in front of mine, while they were driving. With a child in the back seat. That was very disturbing. Mostly I've seen and heard about the results of violence by men against women.

My brother's girlfriend was a tough little woman, who would punch and kick him for being insulting and obnoxious towards her. He told me that he would laugh at her and pretend it didn't hurt and encourage her to hit him harder, but later he'd have bruises. Funny how my whole family though it was great that she didn't take any cr@p from him, but if the shoe were on the other foot.....

This post was last modified: 05-26-2012 10:13 PM by 142857.

A fair post 142587.

Men do keep quiet about it for many reasons which you can look up if interested.

And yes, all we do hear is men beating women stories and the feminist movement makes sure we hear about it.

You are in Oz, here is a little article about NewSouthWales.

"Figures from the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics show the number of women charged with domestic violence-related assault has increased dramatically.

The figures show 2,336 women faced court on charges of domestic violence in 2007, mainly for bashing their husbands, compared with just 818 in 1999.

News Ltd says men's groups say they're happy that police are finally taking men seriously, but it's still hard for husbands to admit they've been attacked by their wives.

Research shows women tend to use guns, knives, boiling liquids and irons to attack their partners.

The increase in violence, which is often fuelled by alcohol, has sparked calls for refuges for men.

Assistant Commissioner Mark Murdoch says there's no definitive explanation for the increasing number of women being prosecuted for domestic violence offences."

What I'm saying is that there isn't some massive coverup. I don't believe that anyone except the abusers would benefit from that. I'm saying that most people simply do not believe that it happens, or even that it could happen.

You also mention me maybe having to strike my beloved. I assure you that the thought has never crossed my mind. She has always been good and caring to me.