I've done the "Hello I think you're beautiful(took me a few weeks to do this)".

But from then on, I didnt know how to ask for her number, or if that was even acceptable.

or where to hang out with her for the first time, or go about asking her.

I'm so nervous

First off, an introduction would of been more acceptable, secondly, telling them how attractive they are kinda gives a wrong impression.

It would be best to start off with some small talk about the weather or the classes you're both taking, the sport you both do, or whatever else has brought you together.

Difficult to suggest what to do without knowing more about both of you. You defininitely need to do much more talking about other stuff to establish whether you actually have mutual interests, but you have probably set off her creepometre with that opening line, and you need to try and ensure that you come across, well, like someone who isn't going to rape her or stalk her if she isn't interested. Aim for friendship and see if you can go from there.

Bold= Concur

Italic= I mentioned something about that opening line....

Underline= Still concur... even if that one little mention was a tad bit off....

You say it's a little off, but this is actually what goes through a girl's mind when someone is socially 'off', especially if they're also obviously interested. Someone who comes across as a) not being socially adept enough to read signals and b) has a strong enough interest to lose control of how he comes across  is potentially dangerous, because we can't predict how he will behave in situations when we are alone with him, or whether he will even behave in a way that is controlled. It also suggests a potentially worrying intensity of emotion from someone who doesn't really know us enough to care about our own feelings.

Aspie guys need to learn that girls don't just use social cues for the fun of it- in a lot of circumstances they use them for self-protection, as a safety mechanism to avoid people who are potentially dangerous.

This post was last modified: 05-18-2012 03:36 PM by Louise18.

You know it is really different strokes for different strokes. There are some women who find one behaviour quirky and endearing and others who may find the same set of behaviours creepy and off-putting and yet another who will think nothing of it either way whilst yet another will find it dangerous and exciting.
No real pat answers. My advice is to know yourself and be confident with yourself. I am and though i do not claim to be a chick magnet or anything of the sort, i have found that in my life i have had women who have not been put off by my social shortcomings or personality. in a happy realtionship with a wonderful lady now and was married previously and have two great kids and a number of women friends who are beautiful ladies with great hearts and open minds and who I feel honeored to know.

On a side note. My boy is not an Aspie. He is Autistic and goes to college next year. (Yes it freaks me out no end) and whilst heis a very good looking and big and tall young man, he is clearerly Autistic  and child like. Walking through open day and a few students from his old school were saying 'Hi" or "G'day" and he was barely looking up and giving a quiet "Hi' and wave back. When his mother and i asked who that kid was, he responded "I dunno?"

It is a fairly usual rsponse and his mother's sigh matched my own.

Suddenly, a pretty blonde-haired girl comes bouncing up and says "Hi". Suddenly, the head down shoulders over his chest became a hi five. shoulders back, chest out, eyes lit up and big smile. He looked over at his mother and I and we caught ourselves open mouthed and staring and i excused us and we walked on. He chatted for a good 5 minutes with this girl down the end of the corridor and swaggered up.

"Who was that mate?" I asked. "Libby". "Aha, so ....how do you remember her name and not any of these blokes that say hello to you?" We all laughed. He said in a conspratorial whisper 'I like girls" I said. "Nothing wrong with that and gave him a quick squeeze around the shoulders.

Now by your rationale Louise, my Autistic son would have set off Libby's creep alarms loudly, but i suspect young libby actually sought out and enjoyed his company.

Just talk to them like human beings.

Don't try and pull, just listen to them, make them laugh, share anecdotes.

If you simply must tell a stranger they are stunningly attractive - and there have been times I have felt the need because holy shit - preface it with something along the lines of, I am aware this is somewhat creepy, but [complement here]. Depending on how they take it, either continue the conversation or, if it was all you wanted to say, walk away and for the love of god don't look back.
If you do need to say such a thing, for the love of god do it boldly. Don't stammer, don't mutter, back straight, look them in the eye, say it at normal speaking level with confidence and then walk away. A nice random compliment like that can make somebodies day, and you're not making it awkward by dragging it out. If they feel likewise about you and they see you regularly or semi-regularly, well, what happens happens. If they don't, no harm no foul.

This post was last modified: 05-18-2012 04:20 PM by ῦ.

Well said.
Do not second guess things too much too.
Imagine you have been invited to a beautiful ladies house. A candlelit dinner. A lot of laughs and a few drinks. A couple of slow dances. A cuddle on the couch and at the end of the evening she asks what side of the bed you sleep on. You answer honestly. She tells you she better head off to bed. You take the cue....you wish her a goodnight and give her a tight embrace and a kiss and .....head off home.
On the way hone things start dropping into place and you think "Ummm....oh bugger"

Such a situation you really should not allow to occur. Not that it would right? I mean that level of social misreading is rather embarassing.

That happened once to a....ummmm....good friend of mine? LOL

Fair enough....

Find out what she is interested in and prompt her to talk. Be a good listener. Make comments to show that you are really listening to her and interested.

Aspie guys tend not to be aware of social signals (<= massive understatement). I have seen aspie guys obsess over a girl who will never be interested in them while being totally unaware of some really great girl who would love to be their girlfriend.

This is very, very insightful Louise.

Contrary to the advice that most aspie guys get, but unfortunately (for us) a lot more accurate.

Nope, a high-five is very much in the non-sexual friend zone of interactions. If your son wanted to make a move then he risked spoiling his chances by putting himself too firmly in the "friend" category so that it would be difficult for her to think about him in another way later. His behaviour wasn't threatening, whereas making an overtly physical comment suggests an ulterior motive to friendliness.

But isn't he..or would he not come across as socially off? In fact any guy on the spectrum may well come across as "socially-off". Or not? What you say may well be right and I am noot saying thhat what you say is wrong but it would seem that to me and from what you say that boys on the spectrum are always going to have trouble here unless they can come across as "more normal".

My boy rarely talks up mutual interests and such. He is very much involved in his own interests though.

Libby is not the only young girl showing him interest. He is sweet, gentle, non-threatening, quiet,  nicely mannered, tall, big, strong and good looking.
He is perhaps emotionally about 6 or 7 years behind his classmates. That would be definitive of socially off.
He is far from ready or really wanting a girlfriend

This post was last modified: 05-19-2012 04:40 AM by Bloke.

I like that Louise18 is making insightful comments that actually make me think.... wow.... I salute you.