How is one supposed to accept their body when there are millions of others around them that not only look so perfect (I want to be perfect, but somehow, I am not meant to be )??

Not only that? what if you have family, friends, and society telling you that you need to loose weight despite having tried everything you could? and maintaining an overall healthy routine?

To give a rough estimate, I am 5'5 and a size 8-10 US sizes, and considered to have an hourglass shape. My ex boyfriend broke up with me, and completely trashed me due to the fact that he considers me 'chubby'. I don't mean to sound insecure here, but now I feel that things just got worse from there. I know I shouldn't allow others to make me feel wrong about my body, and lord knows I have tried to ignore it. I feel, however, that because of these subconcious thoughts, I have done things to myself that have caused things to get worse.
I feel that I think about food, and calories more than I should. I can't bring myself to think of it normally.

I wake in the morning checking what I look like in the mirror, then I go to bed at night hoping that it will change although I know it won't.

As for excercise, I have periods where I excercise excessively, then I have other periods where I feel agitated at the lack of results I get, get an attitude about it, then choose not to excercise for the remainder of the day because of that moment of thought. its off and on. Sometimes I feel entitled to 'slack off' as I do everything right, and still don't look they way I should. I get frustrated, and agitated with the whole process. Why do I, a young 22 year old, have to work so hard for results that NEVER come. Meanwhile, most women my age have a much easier time than I do (take it for this campus full of 'perfect'). This campus makes me feel like I am a hellion in 'heaven'...if that makes any sense.
This whole thing makes me so cross, its sickening.

Maybe I should try to live in a locale full of obese people, that way I feel better.......

I totally understand how you feel, after my daughter was born my body rebelled and stored fat if I so much as looked at anything that wasn't salad. Give a slimming club a go, I laughed at the idea until my friend made me join.
She used the old reverse psychology on me and said she only wanted me to go as support for her as she was getting fat (a HUGE lie on her part, I've seen more fat on a pencil!) so I went along and actually enjoyed it. Theres a whole group of people (and theres always someone bigger than you, so you feel a little better already), your weight is kept private so no-one else knows if you've gained or lost, and if you stick to it you lose a couple of pounds each week. The thrill of watching the weight go down is a boost. You dont get put on any mental diet fad, just learn sensible, moderate eating.
Your own view of your body can often warp the truth, you may not be as overweight as you think. If you give it a chance I think you'll feel better about yourself in no time.


e: dare I say it?, I think this should be moved to Support.

This post was last modified: 05-15-2012 08:40 PM by cynara.

My first girlfriend was about your size when we first got together. I thought she was perfect, but she went back to the US and had similar body issues, as most of the girls her age (21/22) she was working with we're so slim. So she ate mainly rabbit food and got down to a size 4. Not for my benefit, but because she wanted to fit an image.

Your ex sounds like a jerk. You are better off without him. Way better off. Better you were rid of him before you got too far down the road.

What sort of strategies do you follow, diet wise, when you are trying to lose weight? I find that simple carbs are my worst enemy. Protein and foods with a low carb load work best.

I ascribe to the theory that the standard dietary advice pushed during the 70s, 80s and 90s actually caused the obesity epidemic.

How is one supposed to accept their body when there are millions of others around them that not only look so perfect (I want to be perfect, but somehow, I am not meant to be )??

Its the only one you've got. Learn to accept it and take good care of it. You are who you are, and that is wonderful. Make the most of it and enjoy it!

I love my body. Its far from perfect when compared to others, but comparing leads to jealousy, which is a spiritual killer. Next thing you know you're all depressed.

Maybe you need a dose of Buddhism to put things into perspective.

Jealous is something I swear I was born to be. I'm surprised my mother hasn't named me that.

All my life, I've been made to feel that others were better than me in some way. The body issues are just another thing I've been made fun of and abused about from early on. But it seems to me that other women are better at being so damn perfect in life. They get good jobs, go abroad a lot, make more friendss etc.....no wonder id rather hang out with the boys...because other women annoy me being so damn perfect....and sense I can't be like them, I don't want the bother. Men are easier because there is no comparing.

But that's an entirely different issue.

I am better off not ascribing to the food pyramid, as carbs tend to be my biggest enemy. Maybe ill try eating nothing but salads. That way I can rebel against a stubborn body that does nothing but store fat. I wish there was some way to rebel against my body, and punish it for not doing what I want it to do.

I want to loose weight by july.

Meanwhiel, I wonder how much liposuction costs, or surgery?

If every other female in my age brackey gets to be perfect, then why can't I? You guys don't see me boasting about my trips abroad, good jobs, random shopping trips, boyfriend, or just how perfect I look.

How are women supposed to look? Not how you think they do look, but how are they supposed to look?
They are supposed to have a figure that extenuates their hips, boobs and bum. These are things that blokes don't have (you don't want to look like a bloke) nor that prepubescent children have (you don't want to look like that either).
If you have a figure as you describe, you are ballpark to what an adult woman should look like.
Average size of an average woman is on average size 14.
Starve yourself all you like but it is only for other people's benefit not yours.
If you think by doing so you will attract blokes, you may be right. What sort of blokes though?
I must admit a bias. I have always preferred women a little more full fleshed.

I mostly agree with what Bloke just said. The broomstick figure just isn't all that attractive to me. Plus, if a guy dumped you because you were a little "chunky", you're probably better off without him.

He's yesterdays bad news.

Center yourself so you can decide what is best for you. Then you can act instead of reacting (and I am living proof that it is easier said than done, but its a goal)

I don't know you, but I can guess that lipo or crash dieting is not in YOUR best interest even if you determine you would benefit from an improved BMI.

[/quote]
How are women supposed to look?
[/quote]

We all look different. I am not SUPPOSED to look like anything.

I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience and was given a body in order to complete this mission. I enjoy my body for what it is: a container.

My earthly experience is enhanced when I eat well, stay in good shape, and get RR - so I try to do this. However, no one (and I know this was NOT what the author of the quote was saying) is going to tell me my body is not good enough. They can eat *** if they try!

Salads are carbs. Most of your calories need to be protein, plus your salad. No sugar or starch.

Jealousy is giving control to another in a way that harms you.

Another option to the pyramid is to divide a plate in quarters. One quarter is a good source of protein, another a low glycemic carb, the next a nonstarchy veg, and the last leafy greens. If you need seconds, then more leafy greens.

Tastes don't change over night, so make a few changes at a time.

Drink plenty of water (diet soda is associated with weight gain) and exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Get adequate sleep (poor sleep associated with weight gain in women).

If you have good medical insurance make sure your thyroid is working well and you are not gluten intolerant. Either can cause easy weight gain.

good point.

Salads (esp at a salad bar) can be loaded with calories and high glycemic carbs. But they are a good choice if one is cognizant of healthy food choices.

Low-carb diets are actually pretty unhealthy, unless you're actually diabetic (which is what they were designed for). Don't overdo the fats, and make sure you're exercising to work off any calories you consume.

And the most important thing: Be happy with yourself.

This post was last modified: 05-16-2012 05:33 AM by d_olson27.

So this is an example of a typical day:

Breakfast- Yogurt , or whole gran cereal/Kashi), with a piece of fruit.
Another choice would be a smoothie blended with a banana, nonfat milk/ or kafir, various berries, sometimes included with lowfat yogurt blended in (spoonful, if that).
Note, I don't eat all of these things in one meal, these are just choices that I choose from on any given day.

Snack- lots of celery, carrots, fruit, trail mix, granola bars, or a cup of greek yogurt. Again, these are choices. Most often, I choose fruit though.

Lunch- Salad (Spinach leaves, tomatoes, cucumbers, brocoli, and mushrooms included). I also a plate of assorted fruit with it.

Snack- lowfat popcorn, fruit, or raw veggies.

Dinner- Salad, stir fry (made with veggies, brown rice, sometimes lean meat. Most often just veggies). ANother meal example would be salmon(which I love, sauteed), green beans, zuchini, okra, rice pilaf.

Dessert. Note that dessert doesn't happen EVERY night, but occasionally I like a treat. I try to refrain from indulging too much. Sometimes I choose fruit, yogurt, or Kifir (which is a probiotic fermented milk). My favorite indulgence is ice cream though. When I do have ice cream, I have exactly 3/4- 1 cup. no more than that. I eat slowly enough to enjoy it. I rarely eat cakes, pies or anything like that.

I've gone out for chinese food twice the entire semester. Not every night. I don't care for pizza or fast food. I may have these foods perhaps once every 3-4months.

I've been raised to eat healthfully, so its kind of engrained in me.

As far as what I drink, I don't drink soda, and only have an alcoholic beverage once every 3 months.

I drink water 99% of the time. Between 6 and 10 cups of water.