Hi guys,

I work in the drug and alcohol field where I deal with injecting drug users. I'm pretty good at my job as far as performing my duties and interacting with the clients go, because my job is VERY routine. The clients come in and ask for some needles and syringes and I just give them to them and occasionally I'll engage in a bit of basic education or small talk with them. In between dealing with the clients who come and go through out the day I'm pretty much left to my own devices and can spend a lot of time on the net. In fact I'm typing this right now while I'm at my desk. So that's fine.

The issue for me however is the dynamics of the team and dealing with my workmates. The other day we had what they call group supervision, where my team mates and I had to sit down and discuss various workplace issues. There was even a psychologist there to facilitate the group. As the session began my acting team leader and another long term employee went out of their way to say that it wasn't a forum to discuss grievances with other workers but to talk about work practices. So why we needed a psychologist there is beyond me. Anywho, I objected and asked what's the point in doing the session if we can't talk about anything real and that if this isn't the forum for talking about issues with other people where would be etc. I got quite wound up but the bottom line was that it annoys that some workmates gossip a lot about other workmates but when it comes to bringing the issues up in the group they don't want to say anything. The justify it by saying they don't like conflict yet my response is that that's just an excuse to keep gossiping. I get as an Aspie and a male in a predominantly female work place I guess I don't like gossip, but on the other hand I think part of my resentment around this stuff is that I'm not close to any of my work mates so I'm on some level I'm jealous that they have the kind of "confidential" conversations with each other that I don't have with them. So yeah I guess work place gossip does my head in because it allows me to get on my high horse about why people shouldn't do it but on the other hand it makes feel like I don't have any friends at work either which is rough. Also, as I said, there's the fact that I'm male and most of my co-workers are female, so that makes the dynamics difficult too because if I find myself trying to get to know a female co-worker beyond the boundaries of our professional relationship then I guess it could be interpreted as me trying to come on to them which also makes turning co-workers into friends a little more difficult, especially if I feel confused myself about my intentions. So yeah, it's tough. Your thoughts?

Yh, know how you feel. There was a heated discussion in my office this morning about butter and margarine. Truly gripping.

I, too, am an Aspie male who works in a predominantly NT/female workplace, they all have active social lives, most of them have significant others, and I'm not privy to their workplace banter. If you're worried about your co-workers spreading gossip about you, then don't give them any ammo. Try to keep your distance from them, let them have their private affairs, and cultivate an image as a friendly, hard-working, asexual simpleton (like Jack McBrayer's character on 30 Rock). This strategy worked for me.