We never seem to get that right. xD Either we're not looking them in the eye so we're lying/rude/disrespectful/hiding something, or we're looking at them too much so we're creepy/weird/rude/plotting something!

This post was last modified: 01-29-2012 02:56 AM by JAGY.

LOL!  Very true.  Apparently, in this woman's words "you look like a cat who's seen a mouse, sitting very still and expressionless, wondering if you're hungry or not and if it's worth making the effort to pounce."

Amazing bit of mis-imagery there, and so much for their much-vaunted mind reading skills!  I remember the occasion well, this woman was a work colleague and I was in fact wishing she'd get to the point so I could resume what I'd been doing.  It seems she wanted to talk (read: gossip on about nothing) and I really TRIED to humour her, but I was busy and wishing she'd go away.  

Alison

This post was last modified: 01-29-2012 03:07 AM by Alison.

I've been told that, that I sit really too still and expressionless. Never been compared to a cat after a mouse though! It made me laugh to read it.

I find this a big problem at times. Particularly when someone is talking directly to me. It doesn't matter how important it is, I have to make eye contact but I can't keep staring in their eyes and how much eye contact SHOULD I make. I mustn't stare too much or they'll think I'm nuts. But if I just look down they hate that. Not that that's the problem; I can't hold eye contact for long. It's even worse over a desk in a formal meeting.

...this is what happens when browsing with a 3" screen.
Anyway, where was I?
Well... I end up missing bits of what they say and have to ask them to repeat it. If it's noisy too, I have even MORE trouble and... Well I don't know what I'm going to do about that. It's a problem.

This, for me too. Looking at people's eyes makes it so hard to listen. And noise, I've even stopped going to the social events my class makes every now and then, because they're always in some noisy pub or restaurant and then I can't hear anything because everything's really making noise.

I really agree with niall.

Heres a thing that vaugely reminds me of this situation. I watched a vlog buy a fifteen or sixteen year old gay guy from england. He had the best accent by the way. Any how I 'know' him off this queer youth site and basically he does receive more than his fair share of verbal abuse due to him being gay.
Anyway he said something really smart in this vlog. He said that when people  are being teased like he has been they think of comebacks  to hurl at these bullies . But more often than not these comebacks are just as bigoted than the original insults. The victim is just as low as the bully.
He was like we all think up stupid.names to call homophobes and people go for stuff like racial stereotypes or other equally low labeles and its stupid as we know how horrible it is to be stereotyped against, why do that to someone else.

Most of my mates are neurotypical . They are a strange bunch but I love them to bits. There are things they do that piss me of but I probably piss them off two. Neurotypicals are our allies.sure some of them should go to hell but there are aspies who suck too. Its not about what you are but who you are. End

amen black butterfly. that aside, seems like people are just carrying on like i said nothing at all. feel free to do that but know you're just as bad as, if not worse than, the NTs you so despise.

on a side note, glad gedrene got the boot, he irritated me even more than most people on here do.

Well in fairness D_Olson responded and said he'd speak up when he saw NT bashing. Perhaps we could start a thread on it?

Done. http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthre...?tid=23863

Oh - this seems to be the reason (not the only one, but the finbal straw) for the new thread about NO NT BASHING... this is a new poster, and these types of statements are blanket statements - and they can be offensive... MEANWHILE... everything there can also be said about spectrum people (some of them.many/not all - you choose)... I know of a few apectrum people that flip out when accomodations are not made for them.  Tis a HUMAN condition that makes people think they are due special treatment, not an NT one.

No one is perfect at navigating socail situations, many mistakes are and will be made...

Yes, of course, we can cut some slack... and commiserate at out unfortuante experiences (many with the average/majority of the population aka NT) person...

This post was last modified: 02-01-2012 04:31 PM by windy.

I have a similar issue with eye contact.  If I think about it too much, it gets in the way of understanding what the person is saying (which is the point of communicating, right?).  However, if I do what is natural which is to not look at someone except briefly (if at all), then I am deemed shy at best and odd at worst.  
Lydia

I have the same problem.  If I look at someone in the eyes (and I'm thinking about the fact that I'm supposed to be doing this), I cannot focus on the content of what the person is saying.  I'm the same way with noise in that I find it very hard to tolerate.
Lydia

Often NT's define empathy in a self-referential way.  Empathy means to show empathy towards them.  

Real actual universal empathy is something quite different indeed.

I hate when they pretend that what I am saying is 'crazy' or 'nonsensical' when in fact, I know they can relate to what I am talking about.

For instance, I claim that there are certain things that should NEVER happen, and when I say that, they pretend that I am speaking a foreign language, or that I am speaking something out of context.

It leaves me wondering if I am that complex to understand or are they really that simple-minded. I personally find it astonishing that some people are such simpletons, but unfortunately i have to agree that they are. How silly can you be to not understand a simple concept.

Not saying that about all NTs (indeed some NTs understand me), but most that I deal with like to be manipulating and pretend that I am the one who doesn't know what she is talking about.