Over the past few months I have been going to worship at a local church.  This is just because my regular church is too far away and my husband does not want to get up and drive there.  I can walk to this other church.  I do not give them money because I don't have any.  

So far a few people have spoken to me there.  NO one has ever invited me to coffee or a meal they have every month after service.  Two women invited me over but never followed up.  One never took my phone number. The one who took my phone number did not call and the next week her husband told me that she was too busy.  I even have to chase the person to get an order of service every Sunday.  

They wonder why their church is half full.  Or is it just me?

Ugh. Man, that sucks! Sympathies.

Sounds to me that church doesn't really want more members or care if they get new members. I think they are in what one of my church members call "a family business". I'll explain via PM about that if you need me too.

If you feel uncomfortable there, then time to find another church. Although I don't recommend church hopping. Anyways, every church has their issues and imperfections. Trust me, I know. :-X

Tssk. Got to love their example of a Christian community...

If they havent honored you by pointing you out to the congregation, I wouldnt bother with them.

Have you spoken with the pastor yet?

I stopped going to church when I was around eleven, I put my foot down and simply told my mother that it wasn't happening anymore, since I couldn't believe in any sort of supernatural force and since it was full of smelly, sweaty people in summer, and freezing cold in winter.  I had better things to do with my Sundays than to spend time trying (painfully) to socialize with people I wouldn't have anything to do with at any other time.  
Alison

Try Skyblue's suggestion too. I just assumed that you spoke to the Pastor and the reverends, M.

Also remember this, M. The church is only the physical building of worship. You are the "church". Your spiritual church is what is important. If your spiritual church (you), don't feel comfortable there, then find some place you feel connected too.

I don't think it's 'just you' but it could be a matter of 'style'. Some people don't get on with places that are 'too' welcoming! I don't seem to be able to find a Church I can get on with, at the moment.

I am not sure that they really mean to be unfriendly.  

I mostly go there to worship God not to socialize.  I like singing and learning the scriptures.  I wish I was invited to a bible study.  Plus I can walk there.  

The pastor did talk to me when I first went there.  I was told that bible study was at a local nursing home.  I do not want to go there.  The rest of the bible studies are at people's homes and you have to be invited to join the "group".  I wonder what is wrong with their church that they need to have it empty most of the week?   Maybe other groups like AA are renting it.  

I would go to coffee time after the service but I really feel like I need to be invited because I don't know how it works or even where the coffee is served.  My own pastor makes a point of inviting people at the end of the service to coffee time.  Often if I see new people there I will ask them if they are coming to coffee and talk a bit to them.  I show them where the coffee is and then introduce them to someone else so I do not have to do too much conversation.

This post was last modified: 11-26-2011 03:59 PM by M.

greetings

you are not the only one with this problem, remember most people who go to church are neuro-typical and do not realise that you will not pick up on the implied stuff.......

explain to the minister a little bit about aspergers syndrome but not to much, I have found a few aspergic friendly churches - one in aberystwyth in wales, one in elephant and castle - the metropolotan tabernacle and the other in my home town - all have people who know a bit about specil needs and were welcomeing and friendly. the key to a good church - sound ministry, the Bible explained aplied and read, preyer and singing, good fellowship and opertunities to be usefull - these things make the church - the church is the people.......

a number of traditional and reformed denominations I have found are not sutible for aspergic people - being told you are a problem and that you are not wanted is not helpfull when percieved not actual........

remember though we are all sinners saved by grace and we are by no means perfect but do not give up going to church because at the end of the day as long as a church meets the above criteria and is sound in primary teaching issues secondery stuff can be worked through.......

remember you do not need to go to everything at church but do get involved in some things and sometimes grin this means takeing the inisutive and getting stuck in with a bin bag or a tray.......

This is a good guide for the Oxford Diocese.  http://www.oxford.anglican.org/social-justice/disability/  There is a download and you could send the document to any church.  

Anyway I am not attending worship at this church anymore due another problem that happened the last time I was there.  I am not attending any church for worship at the present.  

I do go to another church for a sewing group although I have never attended Sunday service there.  I might think about it although I have not told anyone that I have aspergers yet.  Seem pointless because then likely no one would recommend me for a job.

This post was last modified: 04-16-2012 06:28 PM by M.

greetings

it seams to me you need to ask yourself why you go to church......... grin when you get the Bible answer and find a church you are happy with you will be happy please see my other post on the subject........