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Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
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violet_yoshi
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
Hi all,
This is my first post here so I hope I am not stepping on any toes by asking for advice (especially from people on the spectrum).
I have a two-year-old boy (27 months) who is likely somewhere on the spectrum. He is VERY VERY verbal and communicates his needs very effectively to me and his dad. He doesn't do any real stimming and he doesn't have out of control tantrums. All this to say - despite his challenges (initiating interaction and eye contact are hard for him), he is happy and healthy and managing very well in the world so far.
My questions is this: he goes to a theraputic preschool right now and his teachers are starting to push me to do more interventions and get him ABA-type help. I would love any opinions on whether ABA helped you, what types of therapy were best, and just any general advice on how to best support my little guy and help him learn to interact with typical peers while at the same time making sure he knows I LOVE his little self and I LOVE that he has a different perspective on this world. It seems like a very fine line to walk and I've had some trouble convincing the "experts" that he doesn't need to be made into the ideal little 2yr old they have in their minds.
Any thoughts are much appreciated. Like I said, I'm still very new to this world!
Welcome.
Regarding interventions:
What is beneficial for one aspie can be hell for another. Only you can decide what intervention your son needs to reach his full potential.
Regarding ABA's:
Behind every ABA is a lot of money. Wherever there is a lot of money there are people with vested interests. New parents are put under a lot of psychological pressure to choose the ABA that your 'expert' is selling.
(I see a lot of pressure selling for RDI at the moment)
Don't be blinded by the sales psychobabble. Treat this as you would any other salesmen trying to pressure you to sign up NOW.
Early intervention is best - but the difference between starting at 2 or 3 is minimal.
But at 3 you will be much better informed.
You have not given anywhere near enough information about your son (probably wise on an open forum) to give any specific advice.
If you do wish to send me a pm with his full developmental history and what they are trying to sell you I will give my opinion.
I sell no products, I am completely neutral but I have been round the block a few times.
This makes me wish Penn & Teller had a chance to do a episode of BS! on ABA, not to discredit it, but they're very good at explaining things through humor..and a lot of cursing, lol.
This post was last modified: 11-04-2011 11:17 AM by violet_yoshi.
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| 11-04-2011 11:16 AM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
We have been using an ABA approach for nearly 3 years, first for my oldest son and now also for my youngest son. My oldest son has delays in several areas of development, at the moment we are doing 8 hours of ABA per week, 2 sessions at home (focused on fine motor, gross motor, cognitive, problem solving, articulation, language skills) and 2 sessions at school(to assist him to learn social skills and interaction with his peers during lunchtime etc). My younger son only has 2 hours per week, focused solely on his social skills/ play development.
Both of my boys love their therapists, and enjoy their sessions. Our therapists are excellent, they both have teacher backgrounds. I have found that all of the negative impressions I had about ABA previously are unfounded. A good ABA program is diverse, focuses on a range of developmental areas, is fun for the child, is positive and the ultimate focus is on developing generalisation and transfer of the skills learned in sessions to the "real world" to help your child learn and develop and be independent. I have learned a lot of good parenting skills by using aspects of the behavioural modification approach used in ABA.
ABA is expensive, but not as expensive as paying for the equivalent of hours with a Speech pathologist or Occupational Therapist. I am an pediatric Occupational Therapist, so I definitely recognise the value and expertise of specific health professions - so it is important to get SP and OT assessments and program input. But ABA is a slightly more affordable way to get more intensive learning opportunities for children with ASDs. In Australia we are able to get some funding from the government to access ABA which is really helpful, but we also pay extra for further input because we see the value of this type of approach.
You definitely do not have to do ridiculous hours (eg. 30 hours per week) to see your child learn and benefit. The most we have ever done is 14 hours per week. My son is learning and developing a lot from his current 8 hours per week.
No single therapeutic approach is perfect, but ABA is really beneficial in my experience. It has a pretty good evidence base. If the ABA approach is coupled with involved, tuned-in parents who are able to help their child generalise skills into everyday life, who are positive and able to use their child's interests and strengths to motivate and learn, then that is a great combination!
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
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| 12-07-2011 12:45 PM |
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robexib
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
Maybe your situation is grand, but ABA isn't good for everyone. It can be beneficial. It can also be the worst thing to do, depending on the situation.
Really, I'd consider it for my own kid if I had one, but I would also look at other options.
Aspie for Life,
Robert Gregor
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| 12-07-2011 10:17 PM |
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
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| 12-07-2011 11:19 PM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
This perspective about the potential harm of ABA is puzzling to me. I don't see how ABA can be bad or damaging - UNLESS the therapist is poorly trained, incompetent, or is using aversives instead of the modern form of ABA that uses positive reinforcement. Or in the case of a therapist trying to harshly "eliminate" behaviours. I definitely don't endorse the view that some ABA proponents have, that all repetitive behaviours or intense interests should be eliminated. Rather I think the role of ABA in that situation would be to help the child learn the appropriate context for certain behaviours or interests that may put them at risk of harm or potential targets for bullies or being ostracised socially. My belief is that the amazing focus and intense interests that come with being autistic are important and good and the onus is on parents and therapists to be creative in ways to harness that interest and enthusiasm to help the child learn and develop.
I am not trying to paint an unrealistically rosy picture of ABA - like I said in my previous post, a combination of approaches seems to work best and no single approach will suit every individual. As the parent, if you decide to use ABA or any other approach, and if you feel that the therapist is doing the wrong thing for your child, you have to step in and make it really clear what your expectations are for your child's therapy program. If the approach is inflexible and doesn't suit your child, it is time to try something else.
My boys have beautiful personalities and amazing abilities - I do not want to change that or try to dampen who they are through therapy. I simply want to help them to be independent, capable, happy and able to function in our overwhelming social world. ABA has been one method that has worked really well with my boys and with our family situation. I am completely involved in their therapy programs and I wouldn't allow anything to happen that would be detrimental for my boys.
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
This post was last modified: 12-08-2011 11:42 AM by harp.
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| 12-08-2011 11:38 AM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
Oh, I forgot to mention one other situation where I agree ABA could be negative for a child - if the child is being made to do ridiculous numbers of therapy hours, and has no free time to play, be a kid, chill out etc. That would be potentially bad for the child.
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
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| 12-08-2011 12:15 PM |
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Alison
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
What a pity we can't use therapy on NTs! I'd love to be able to flash irritating little cards in their faces when the sound level of their talking reaches supersonic! Or help them to realize that standing around in intimidating groups and bullying others is not something you do in civilized society. Unfortunately this good ABA would probably be undermined by the awful example of public figures, also NT, including sports "stars" whose behaviour leaves a lot to be desired.
Alison
To be ruled by tradition just means that you're letting yourself be outvoted by the dead.
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| 12-09-2011 01:01 AM |
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41 6c 79
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
What a pity we can't use therapy on NTs! I'd love to be able to flash irritating little cards in their faces when the sound level of their talking reaches supersonic! Or help them to realize that standing around in intimidating groups and bullying others is not something you do in civilized society. Unfortunately this good ABA would probably be undermined by the awful example of public figures, also NT, including sports "stars" whose behaviour leaves a lot to be desired.
Alison
Application for a research grant to study the arrested development of NT children in order to ascertain the reason and a cure for their vocal and tactile dysfunctions.
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| 12-09-2011 01:30 AM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
I acknowledge that there are bad ways of doing ABA. Just making the point that it has been a really positive experience for my boys. It is not about changing who they are, it is about helping them learn. Because the world is NT-dominated and my husband and I hope to help them learn the skills they need to be able to cope in this world.
I'm trying to offer my perspective of how ABA has been helpful since the original poster was asking for opinions on this and other forms of therapy.
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
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| 12-09-2011 09:59 AM |
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41 6c 79
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
I don't like arguing and you sound like a nice person.
The word stubborn is often applied to auties; for good reason.
We have good reasons for most things.
Use strong logical arguments.
I can acknowledge that you believe something but you are not me and therefore anything you say that conflicts with something I believe is automatically suspect unless you can demonstrate that either my conflicting opinion is wrong or that it dosn't conflict and you must demonstrate why you are right.
It's fairly "black and white".
I'm not explaining this well.
Anyway; when dealing with auties it's worth remembering to use logic.
Please don't be offended or put off talking about this. It's. Quite pertinent and I'd like to hear some strong arguments both for and against ABA.
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| 12-09-2011 12:09 PM |
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41 6c 79
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
There are many arguments to overcome with this. So many. How do you know it's been a positive experience? Positive experience for you or the children? Why do they need to change? Is it really teaching them or are they just learning to respond to the therapist? How would you know it wasn't traumatising them if they don't tell you? Etc. Lots more.
Alison's words are good. I don't know if NTs would get that point of view because she's not translating into NT but they are bang on.
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| 12-09-2011 12:45 PM |
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Alison
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
I am a little suspicious of ABA, I agree that it has to be used by a person who is properly trained and who knows what they are doing. I've seen too many amateurs attempting it with AS children in the preschool classes I've had.
In an attempt to save money, one preschool I worked at (the last one) had an appalling woman who had the class next door to me. She was always barging in to try out her flashcards or latest ABA treatments, all ad hoc. on the autie kids I had in my room (I had most of them in my class, it was acknowledged I had a "knack".)
Most of these littlies were scared of B. because she had a big booming voice in a big, intimidating body. She got away with it, in fact was encouraged by the management because she did it free of charge.
And her training? Well, she had a son who was dx'ed Aspie. He was a nice kid, I met him a few times, but she tended to baby and belittle him in equal measure. Due to this factor of "Oh, he can't do this-or-that because he's autistic, you see...) the boy had learned to use it as a crutch and unless he gets out from under his mother's not-insubstantial shadow, I'm very much afraid he'll have trouble doing anything on his own.
His NT sister also copied their mother's appalling approach and would roll her eyes in unconscious imitation of B. whenever he did just about anything that did not fit into her preconceptions of what "normal behaviour" was.
Anyway, after I'd settle my AS kids down enough for B. to do her thang on them, she'd flash cards, and pester them to look her in the eyes, etc. But she had no formal training apart from what was needed to get her into preschool teaching. I should add here that I took extra tuition with special needs children. But I didn't specialise in the AS kids, they just tended to end up in my classroom! Particularly if I'd had their older brothers and sisters in previous years, their parents would ask for their siblings to be put in my class even if the sibs weren't AS themselves.
So while I don't disdain ABA completely, I feel it is too easy to say one is an "expert" and use it unquallified on AS children. I know after B. had barged in, it took longer to settle my little AS kids back down to their regular routine. But once that was re-established, they were generally as good as gold. And for somebody they knew and trusted, such as myself, they could really shine.
Alison
To be ruled by tradition just means that you're letting yourself be outvoted by the dead.
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| 12-09-2011 01:25 PM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
There are many arguments to overcome with this. So many. How do you know it's been a positive experience? Positive experience for you or the children? Why do they need to change? Is it really teaching them or are they just learning to respond to the therapist? How would you know it wasn't traumatising them if they don't tell you? Etc. Lots more.
Alison's words are good. I don't know if NTs would get that point of view because she's not translating into NT but they are bang on.
I get what Alison is saying - it is a good point she makes.
What I was intending to say and perhaps didn't say clearly is:
- there are a lot of negative impressions about ABA in the general community. I have heard the usual arguments against it eg. it is like dog training, it consists only of boring drills, they use aversives, the children end up being robotic, the skills they learn in ABA don't generalise to real life etc. Most of the people who have told me these things (eg other parents, health professionals etc) have never seen an ABA session in action and don't have a good understanding of the philosophy behind it.
- I too used to think all of the things I just listed in my previous point. I am an Occupational therapist and I think I picked up this negative impression about ABA from other health professionals but I never actually investigated ABA until my son was diagnosed with severe autism. Then I read some studies regarding the effectiveness of ABA and decided to try the approach just to see - with great cautiousness and readiness to cease if I thought it would be negative for my little boy.
- My understanding and thinking about autism has changed as I have been on this journey with my son. In the past my view of autism was probably a bit negative. But I have come to realise that my boys are amazing and unique and being autistic is simply another way of experiencing life and brings many skills and benefits. So NO I don't want to change my boys. That is part of the reason why I was drawn to this forum, because I was searching for positive messages about autism instead of the constant barragement of negativity that exists almost everywhere else. In an ideal world my boys would be loved and accepted by all for who they are - despite some of their "differences". But the reality is that they have to learn to function in a sometimes foreign social world where people are cruel and don't understand people who act "differently". ABA is an approach that has worked well for my boys as a method to teach them the social rules that they may struggle to learn otherwise. Also, my 6yo has significant articulation difficulties, general motor dyspraxia affecting his fine and gross motor skills, and ABA has helped his speech and language develop so that he can communicate more clearly and be understood, and ABA therapy has helped develop his fine motor skills so he can write well (which is great because he loves letters and words and writing is his number 1 passion!).
- in my first-hand experience of ABA in action for the past 3 years, they way my therapists provide ABA is fun, oriented toward my boys' interests and passions, and does not consist of boring drills. They have 10 minutes of tasks then they have 5 minutes break to choose anything they want. Then they happily return to do a different set of jobs.
- How do I know it is not damaging for them? They jump up and down over and over and over with excitement and joy when their therapist arrives at the house, eager to tell her what they have been doing that morning. The therapist often has to urge them to go and have a play break after 10 - 15 minutes of tasks, because they want to keep doing their "fun jobs". Even if it is my 6yo's therapy time, the 4yo is often there doing the tasks too because he enjoys it - nobody makes him sit there. My 6yo's speech is getting clearer - I no longer have to interpret his speech when we are out shopping and he strikes up a conversation with a little old lady at the supermarket or the checkout girl. His handwriting is legible and he is full of pride when he can write a sentence and I can read it without him having to tell me what it says. I know him well, I know when he is happy and proud of something he has done all by himself. We also keep data on what tasks the boys have been working on and see the steady progress with learning problemsolving skills, writing letters, making a speech sound, or learning about sharing a toy.
Sorry this is so long. Just trying to make myself clearer. I know ABA when done badly can be negative. I just feel I need to outline how ABA has been helpful for my gorgeous boys.
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
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| 12-09-2011 01:31 PM |
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Alison
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
Oh, a nice little addendum to that, I was reminded by what you were saying about how happy your boys are to see their therapist: I was getting petrol the other day at the local service station and heard a squeal and got mugged from behind by a little boy. He'd been in my class last year, his older brother is HFA and he's Aspie, and I'd had both of them in my preschool class one after the other.
It was nice to see he'd not only remembered me, but was happy to hug me, since he doesn't usually like invasion of his personal space (he used to hide behind me whenever B. came in the room with her latest rubbish) and his mum asked me how I was doing in my uni studies and if I'd ever come back to work (she was pregnant again, and she smiled at me and said I'd been the best teacher they'd ever had, which was very nice to hear!)
If I wasn't so interested in doing my Bachelor of Languages now, I'd probably consider doing some training in ABA and going back to preschools as a specialist. It's nice to have a fall-back position, but I'll be doing my B.La for a few more years yet.
Alison
To be ruled by tradition just means that you're letting yourself be outvoted by the dead.
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Check out my DeviantArt gallery for my stories, art and photography:
http://fayzbub.deviantart.com/
I'd love to see you there!
This post was last modified: 12-09-2011 01:35 PM by Alison.
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| 12-09-2011 01:32 PM |
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harp
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RE: Parent of a 2yr old on spectrum - QUESTION
Oh, a nice little addendum to that, I was reminded by what you were saying about how happy your boys are to see their therapist: I was getting petrol the other day at the local service station and heard a squeal and got mugged from behind by a little boy. He'd been in my class last year, his older brother is HFA and he's Aspie, and I'd had both of them in my preschool class one after the other.
It was nice to see he'd not only remembered me, but was happy to hug me, since he doesn't usually like invasion of his personal space (he used to hide behind me whenever B. came in the room with her latest rubbish) and his mum asked me how I was doing in my uni studies and if I'd ever come back to work (she was pregnant again, and she smiled at me and said I'd been the best teacher they'd ever had, which was very nice to hear!)
If I wasn't so interested in doing my Bachelor of Languages now, I'd probably consider doing some training in ABA and going back to preschools as a specialist. It's nice to have a fall-back position, but I'll be doing my B.La for a few more years yet.
Alison
That's sweet, you obviously meant a lot to that kid! And that mother!
Mum to two beautiful boys with autism
"..don't mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we're here waiting for you." - Jim Sinclair
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| 12-09-2011 01:54 PM |
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