..............to go and get a great big gun
and point it at you, my loved ones head
and scream "I'll shoot you til your dead".
To punch and kick you while you lie weeping,
to show you a crowbar and hand out a beating.
The reason why this game I am choosing?
To see fear on your face as you realise you're losing.
Do you wonder why this time I will win?
Then come look through my eyes,
see where I've been.
I want to do these things to you,
Oh Sweetheart can't you see?
Because you obviously had fun when you did them to me.

actual feelings or just verse?

Feelings. I hate him so much, cant let it go. He's dying, I wish he'd just hurry up and maybe I can move on.
Sorry, feeling resentful and pissed off tonight

I want the man who molested me to die.

They never bloody do.
They go on to live long lives while the good and decent die young.

He is diabetic and an alcoholic. He has to croak sometime.

Very soon, most likely...

Whos hurt hurt you cynara? Can't you poison him and dump the body down a mineshaft?

My ex. An alcoholic kickboxer.
Beat seven bells out of me for years. He's poisoned himself with booze, his liver is knackered, but he just wont die.
I know it sounds horrible, but when he's gone I can finally move on and not be driven nuts by wanting revenge that I cant have.

Yeah I meant in a more fatal way. Alcoholism isn't going to kill him quick enough. I mean poison in a 'now you die tonight you sack of crap, and I hope it hurts like hell' sort of way. A reliable way, rather than just reducing his life expectancy.

What about putting a bullet in his head in a back alley? use glaser safety slugs, they are basically an FMJ only filled with metal shot, so they shatter as soon as they hit. Like a hollowpoint, in that they dump all their kinetic energy into the target, rather than leaving much of an exit wound, like an armor piercing bullet, ball round, or solid FMJ, pretty bloody well useless against armor, but a damn lot of stopping power. Should be very difficult given they haven't got a solid core, and are specifically designed to break up on impact and not shoot through.

Blow his bloody bollocks off. Not horrid thing to say either, he deserves it. I HATE abusers. And they deserve whatever they have coming, and what they have coming really isn't very nice. Or at least, maybe get a few hard people to go and stamp on his face until it pops like an egg that gets dropped, only to leak something less pleasant. Might be a bit hard taking out a kickboxer, but that isn't going to save him against ten guys with bats and claw hammers

Lestat, I dream of killing him all the time.
I nearly crushed his Lithium and Risperidone into his vodka once, I was all geared up to finally do it. I'd checked all the doses were lethal and I could have got away with it because he was a self harmer with suicidal tendancies (that only emerged if I ever threatened to leave). I was in the kitchen, pestle in hand and his daughter rang.
I couldn't deprive her of her father. Although now she hates him and wishes he were dead too (after I left he took out his anger on her) so I might as well have done it after all. It's my biggest regret. I know some wont understand but I truly, truly regret not killing him that night. I know I would have no guilt, he tried to kill me more than once and nearly succeeded on one occassion. I just would have made sure I got it right, dead men cant beat you. Instead I'm here 8 years later, still affected by it all as if it were yesterday. I HATE that I cant (wont?) move on while he's alive.

Bipolar, violent, abusive, and self-destructive.

Why didn't you leave him so that he would kill himself? Why didn't you leave him period???

He said he would kill me, I had no reason to doubt him.
In the end the Psych Hospital where I was (I lost the plot in the middle of the main road one day, screaming and crying and holding up traffic like a bloody fool) called my Mum 300 miles away and I was told to go with her or be commited for six months. Anyways they had me too drugged to argue and I found myself put in a car to Cornwall.

Bloody do the cu nt cynara. Or go do something worse...throw acid in his face or something, leave him in permanent pain, thats worse than an easy release from suffering by being dead. Constant agony, is what he needs.

There is a fine line with lithium, but difficult to kill yourself (and by extension some other git) with antipsychotics. Nice try though...wish you had. You seem like a nice lass and you really do not deserve to be mistreated.

I think I'm going to hurl... not cuz of this thread, though. I'm tempted to get a carbon-coated combat knife and gut the *******.