The World Health Organisation thinks that 10-15% of gamers have a clinically significant addiction. Sure, that does mean that 85-90% of gamers can use them responsibly, but, in addition to that gaming has no physical health benefits, no social interaction benefits and fewer intellectual benefits than reading, writing, or playing a musical instrument. Given the combination of risks, and the limited benefits, personally computer games are not something I would ever buy for my child. They'd have to get a Saturday job and earn the money to pay for it before they got one.

That's more or less what I'd do. I wouldn't forbid them from ever playing video games, but I would try to discourage them. I would pay for music lessons with my own money (or more likely give them myself, although as they got older they might want to branch out with someone outside the family), games I would not. Push them in a direction. Plus, if you start music lessons really young, for many people it just becomes "I thing I do." Then the vast majority of their memories involve them being able to an instrument and it becomes a part of them. Also as an autistic person music is the main way I've gained acceptance from people, although that was never my goal.

Yoshi says video games help intellectually- I'd like to see some statistics (and any games based around advanced calculus are outliers). Do gamers score higher on IQ tests than their peers? Musicians do.
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Musicians...4859.shtml
http://www.science20.com/news_releases/d...says_study

That doesn't mean they're "smarter" per say but it does mean that they're better at certain kinds of cognitive tasks than they otherwise would be.

Of course, I spent a lot of time playing video games when I was younger. I don't have much to show for it, but I did turn out OK, so I'm not claiming they auto-ruin your life. I also spent a lot of time reading. I do have a lot to show for that.

This post was last modified: 03-29-2011 07:05 PM by qwert.

Guess I'll just leave, with gratitude that my parents focused on what enriched my life based on the direction my interests took naturally. Instead of basing what direction my life should take based on staticians who didn't know me.

You guys sound a lot like the woman who wrote the book Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Good luck with that!

Correct me if I am wrong, Violet_Yoshi, but are you not an almost 30 year old woman who doesn't work and still lives with and is financially dependent on her parents?

I would prefer that my son is equiped to make his own way in the world.  To a great extent that does involve encouraging his natural interests, but with appropriate guidance and direction.  He is not given free rein to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and for as long as he wants.

This post was last modified: 03-29-2011 07:24 PM by Marcia.

I'm not saying no one should ever play video games under any circumstances, just that I would not encourage it if I had children. If I encourage music, they might like it just as much as they would have liked video games. If they hate music, I accept it and move on, but at least I gave them an opportunity.

I also think Marcia is appealing to the "holy trinity" (job, wife, kids), which I'm not and I don't think you being financially dependent on your parents is a direct result of liking video games (if that's true of you, which I don't even know).

This post was last modified: 03-29-2011 07:34 PM by qwert.

I'm not appealing to anything really.  I'm just pointing out that the results of the way Violet_Yoshi was raised by her own parents might not be what others seek for their own (potential or hypothetical) children.  There is nothing intrinisically wrong with being at home at that age, no job etc, but given the tone and content of this thread I don't know that her advice is necessarily as good or as relevant as she thinks it is.

For what it's worth, my son has had a Nintendo DS for almost 2 years now.  He bought it with money he received as gifts from others, and had to save for a wee while before he could get it.  It has very definate advantages as far as socialising goes, much more so than if he sat in a corner reading all the time.

Wow, that was a little personal! Things can go wrong later in life that put you back to square one even if you are generally quite high functioning, had good parenting etc. I know people who have ended up in that position who have contributed more to the world than you or I ever will.

double posted

This post was last modified: 03-29-2011 07:49 PM by Louise18.

Me too. Though I haven't given up on contributing as much as them, even if I'm not sure how to yet.

I do consider Marcia's post to be a low blow, even if she obviously wasn't intending it that way.

Yes, it was pretty personal, but Violet_Yoshi does have a history of making extremely damning comments about parents and how they raise their children.  This thread is mostly about setting boundaries for children so that they can learn how to behave appropriately as they grow up.

I'm not condemning or criticising people who stay with their parents, or who end up back with their parents.  I know people in both positions.

I suppose it's just that I know Violet_Yoshi of old and she got my back up this time.

I'll get my coat.

This post was last modified: 03-29-2011 08:00 PM by Marcia.

I think violet yoshi has had some good advice in this thread and the parts that I didn't think were good I was able to disagree with without challenging her personally.

I think we've (collectively) talked about how boundaries can be both useful for an autistic person and harmful.

I do live with my parents. There is nothing wrong with living with and loving your family. Seems parents these days can't wait till their kids are 18, to kick them out of the houseand send themto college. It's common in many societies for families to live together throught their lives, heard of extended families? Guess you needed to judge the way I live my life, to make you feel better for having control over your son.

I'm happy living at home, and greatful I have understanding parents who didn't push me out into the world just so they could pat themselves on the back for having what NT society deems is a functioning child. I wish more kids had such understanding parents.

It's common in most societies to live with your family until you get married, if not afterwards. This is purely financial- people can't afford to go out on their own, so suddenly it becomes acceptable not to. Or really, in the US it's not only accepted but encouraged to be wasteful, because even though we have way more than we need (mostly as a result of taking from other countries) if people stop buying things it causes economic depression.

I was disrespectful as a child but never understood how. The explanations never made sense to me. My friends conservative parents said I have to because its your parents whether they are right or wrong. I hate redneck conservatives. I really do.