Oh, and punishment encourages children to lie and hide things from their parents.

I got rid of cable because I don't think $100/month justifies it. I got an HDTV antenna to pull in the new digital TV signals (analog TV stopped in 2009).

I have no time for video games. I'd rather nap if I had time.

We've had video games in our house since my daughter was five years old.  I enjoy them, as well.  

I believe they help with hand-eye coordination; mine has certainly improved markedly since I began playing.  Also, memory can be enhanced as you recall the various rules and situations within the game, and you learn to think ahead.  I find them very helpful in this.  

And of course, they're entertaining, as well!  So long as the child doesn't play them to the exclusion of all else or that their health begins to suffer ("My thumb gets sore in cold weather, it's my old Nintendo injury playing up... ") I can't see a problem.  

Alison

Computer games require more concentration than TV. It is possible to do other tasks while supposedly watching TV. Young kids usually like drawing and they can draw while watching TV. The combination of watching a TV documentary while drawing (maybe drawing designs for things that appear in the documentary) should have a good educational value - for a kid who likes drawing while watching TV.

When I was young I used to read while watching TV, you can read during the commercial breaks and boring bits. When I was a teenager I used to play computer games while watching TV, I had a TV behind me while using the computer and a rotating chair so I could spin around when something interesting came on.

Getting along with other people is necessary, for most things that you want you need to be able to deal with other people to get them.

There are probably few Aspie kids who genuinely don't want friends (as opposed to many who say that they don't want any). What Aspie kids need is Aspie friends, NTs are often too demanding. Is there a web site for arranging play-dates that allows special-needs status as a search criteria?

It's the third millennium, let's not assume that every child will desire a "relationship" with the opposite sex when they are an adult.

i have just called every organisation on my ""help list"" as my 9 yr old McDD   = ADHD   ODD     CD   and AS      has been smashing everything hitting biting kicking  into self harm    when i dont give him the reaction he wants he will then attempt to strangle his 6 yr old sister.
When he strangles himself i tell him well your going to stop breathing then you will pass out  and ill take you to hospital  just letting you know.......this is happening every day now and he is very possive of toys and his own belongings we have made allowances for him that if its his his sister cant touch it but now he has made a friend fantastic he was struggling to make friends but now he is very possive of his friend and no one else can play except my son and friend  any one gets in the way they get belted  abused all this is getting very frustrating   as every melt down some one has to be hurt  then he feels more power or controll and increases the violence    STAR charts for every family member  really has caught my attention    thank you

Also the kids come home with USBs and web sites  from school that they have work in and compete with kids from other countries all in the same programm   Mathletics     reading eggs   so if you (the child) can complete 20 minutes of this then you can have 10 mins of your choice  (works some times )

What are you talking about? She is three years older than me or was her birth date wrong the whole time?

'Hello,

Now I will be the first to admit that I am not a parent so you may take what I have to say with a grain of salt. I agree with maniy of you that children should not have to respect their parents simply for being parents. NOw I do think they should earn the respect,a nd it should be mutual if at all possible, but I digress.
I would like to express that I agree with Earthmum. If possible, it would do a world of good for this boy to find friends who are like himself. I speak from experience as I have a physical disability. Finding friends who accepted me for my own merit was essential to my success. Of course, this varies with the style of the kid in question.
I needed the accceptance or judgment of others who were truly my peers. I of course made it a point to find a balance. This kid should probably have friends who are NT's and Aspie if possible. It truly does build confidence.
HOwever, you can take or leave my experience. It is just that, personal experience.

Rules are needed, of course, but for when I was an little Aspie tyke, I was very aware of utilitarian and non-utilitarian rules. Anytime my parents enforced a rule simply to exercise their authority, they were in for trouble. Rules need to be functional.

What do you mean they were in for trouble?

I mean... I could be very difficult.

You were lucky in that you could tell the difference.  I followed all rules, no matter what they were, in the belief that if the rule was there it was important that I follow it.  Which led to some trouble for me, since I believed adults when they said, for instance, you won't get hurt if you always tell the truth.  I find out the hard way that it could hurt, very much.  
Alison

I get into more trouble for telling the truth than not saying anything.

I was told as a kid telling the truth keeps you out of trouble but I found that to be false because I still get into trouble so I kept lying.

What would happen is I do things and then deny I did it because I was afraid of getting into trouble so when I get into trouble, it proved my point that being honest about it would have gotten me into trouble anyway so why be honest?


What I realize now is what my mother or other people meant was they probably meant that if you are honest about your actions, you get into trouble less and the punishment is less severe. I took it literal and thought you don't get into trouble at all. Just as long as you admit you do things, there be no consequences. Plus I had it backwards about when I be punished for lying, I was in trouble for lying, not for something I did.

Yes, lying is something I try to teach my son. So far not very successfully. Politeness is lying, too, after all, and I can mention a few other instances when lying is essential. It must be so confusing for Aspie kids.