I don't think punishing will help.  Generally it just adds anxiety to the situation.  It might work for NT kids, but at least for my kids, they just shut down or flip out.  A system of rewards generally works better, like a "potty chart" where he is working toward a trip to chuck e cheese or another treat.  I wouldn't totally rule out punishment if it becomes a serious health issue, but I'd leave it as a last resort.  JMO.

Have you tried telling him? Though he may get embarrassed even angry. Maybe an anonymous note?

Him not hiding his poop indicates he knows it's wrong to do but does it anyway because there is no punishment. No punishment, kids will keep doing it. If that isn't true about the boy, that's the message the OP sent me when he or she wrote it.

When I was five years old I used to close the windows and the door in my playhouse so I could pee in it because mom did not want me doing it so I get sneaky. But she had x ray eyes because she somehow knew what I was doing in there with the windows closed so I started doing it when she wasn't around. If she didn't forbid me from doing it, I wouldn't be closing the windows and the doors in my playhouse and not waiting till she isn't around. Then one day my cousin tattled on me, I don't know how she knew I peed in the playhouse because I had all the windows closed to the playhouse so no way she could see me because she wasn't inside. But she told my mother I peed in there and mom yelled at me asking if I peed in it and I kept saying no and she spanked me and sent me to my room. That was the last time I remember peeing in the playhouse. So me hiding what I am doing because I don't want to get into trouble, if I hear someone else saying their child doesn't hide poop because they won't get in trouble indicates that. And me peeing in the playhouse did become my routine so that's why I had a hard time quitting so I started sneaking instead to stay out of trouble. Perhaps the boy get sneaky too if he got punished? He'd start hiding it again and maybe try and get more clever with his hiding spots for poo. But me getting spanked sure did seem to kill my interest peeing in the playhouse.

Some things to try:

Papaya (aka pawpaw) will make it easier for him to go. So will bananas.

Make sure that he is drinking plenty of water. My son tends to only realize that he is thirsty when his mouth is dry, then he just takes a tiny swig of water to wet his mouth. So he tends to get dehydrated, which can make it difficult to pass a #2. I find that it is easier to get him to drink more water from a cup/glass than from a bottle.

We can't assume what's going on in this child's head.  Punishment is not a solution.

Some ASD kids have trouble pooping because to them, their poo is a part of them and having it come out and be separated from this is stressful.  So they will do it in their pants, hold on to it, do it next to a toilet or potty.  This way, the poo is still near them and not in the 'flushable' place.

Leftie, under the current DSM criteria (used for diagnosing people), a person can not be diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD.

Many Aspie/autistic children are misdiagnosed as ADHD.  My son, to someone with not much knowledge, would be seen as ADHD.  His ADHD-like behaviours are extremely common in Asperger children.

If your grandson genuinely has Aspergers, I would be very doubtful there's ADHD.  One or the other, not both.

I have spoken to numerous Asperger specialists (some very well known) and they too agree there are many ADHD behaviours in Aspie kids but it's definitely not ADHD.

Then of course, there's the problem of medicating a child (like Ritalin) when they don't need it, because they've been incorrectly diagnosed.

This post was last modified: 03-11-2011 08:41 AM by golaki.

I have found that notes - or pictures - or things in writing - worked better here - particularly for our very aspie son. *

A checklist was what worked for him for bathroom use - he drew himself a chart. (he was an exceptional artist at age 3, 4, and 5- he didn't speak coherently until around 4- 4 and 1/2)  

(He did the same in kindergarten after we heard he still had not been able to put his backpack away , hang his coat, visit the teacher to drop his folder and find his seat) he drew a flow picture and never had trouble with that again) Of course it was drawn from memory and in perfect scale (he drew every detail)

(*I say very as our middle son is exhibiting more obvious quirks as he gets older and our family has quite a spectrum... our oldest son is VERY aspie though)

(obviously punishment is a bad idea)

fast forward to today - my sons are 14 and 12 and they have started "missing" and generally being messy in the bathroom - pratically for the first time! I do nto even punish them-- (LOL except that they have to clean their own bathroom) For every action, there is a reaction (or is it a consequence)

This post was last modified: 03-11-2011 03:38 PM by windy.

i dont want to leave notes whenever something annoys me. also i am way to embarrassed to mention it.

Then I guess you'l have to wait for the PeePee Prince to change houses.

I have noticed a wide range of ages for AS children using the potty.  My self I was trained at age 1 yes around my first birthday by my aunt no clue how she pulled it off but she did I guess she said every time I made a face from 10 months on she would put me on the pot and I caught on quick.  I was also an early talker and spoke in small sentences around this age too.  My brother who also has AS was nearly 5 by the time he was trained and spoke few words till he was 3.  He is 15 now and very intelligent.  My daughter who is almost 4 and I believe to be NT was 18 months when she started using it all the time.  She was another early talker and now has the communication skills of a child of 6 as the doctor put it.

With her I did the training.  I used the same method my aunt did starting from the time she walked.  I also kept the pot close at hand at all times so she could see it, I also had my ex wife and myself use the toilet in front of her (sitting of course) so she would see its a natural thing and by 18 months she was wearing underwear and was dry at night.

The trend seems to be kids not being trained until they are over 3 just for pee and sometimes older for pooping.  They are going to be wearing diapers for a long time.  

The reward system is the best.  But also you have to keep asking them if they have to go and still put them on the potty and tell them to go.  You have to do this every one to two hours during the day.  If they have a few accidents at night  time or when they are out -- no big deal.  they forgot to ask in time.