I think most of this sums up alot of characteristics of Aspie men. I think this boils down to lack of "theory of mind", and when such supremely significant gaffes occur (in the realm of intimate relationships), the Aspie is overly sensitive because he knows he screwed up again but really meant no harm. Also keep in mind an Aspie man's life coping strategies can very often conflict with the everyday ways of a significant other.
When I was a kid I was told I was self-centered and selfish. It's always been a struggle to overcome that image in different facets of my life. No matter how you slice it, I'll always be eccentric. But eccentric and selfish don't have to mean the same thing. As I've lived in learn, I've been through situations where the parties accusing me of being selfish were really the selfish ones just taking advantage of me.
In the realm of male singlehood and what is essentially involuntary celibacy, selfish tendencies and habits can indeed develop. But I don't like to think of it as a bad thing. (Keep in mind too, many women are certainly the same way.) It is good to indulge in hobbies and interests and it sure helps to get a guy's mind off of what he feels he's missing (intimacy, positive female companionship). For a guy to be busy doing his thing is far better than to be desperately pining about trying to get a date. If a guy was to put all his energy and resources into trying to find love; well he'd come accross as desperate and by definition that is a turn-off.
On a personal note, I'm just beginning to enjoy life in a way I couldn't enjoy when I was married (granted these marriages were not worth the compromise). Once I've paid off cumulative debt, I'd like to do things I've never done before but hope to be able to afford to do. I'd very much like to experience two-way love in my life and I know there'd be compromise involved. Deep questions would have to be addressed honestly by both parties about our outlooks in life, how each of us handles things (including life-coping skills), etc. Yet in the meantime, I'm not going to cry about being without partner but strongly desiring one. I've got to keep my mind off of that and (practically for once) do the things I want to do, grow and develop.