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Facebook neediness
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Smiley



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Post: #1
Facebook neediness

I understand that NTs need/crave/seek out constant "social interaction", but sometimes I just want to scream "Oh SHUT the f*ck up and quit being so *&^%$ self-centered!!" at some of my Facebook NT friends.

Today's example.  

Status update reads "L--- B--- is feeling my time and effort and sacrifices are going unnoticed and unappreciated."

Gaaaaackkkk!!!!  

I translate this to read "L--- B--- is wanting everyone to post on her wall that she is indeed special and wonderful and oh so very appreciated, to reaffirm her center of the universe-ness, and to give her pats on the back for doing plain old normal life stuff that everyone else does without requiring the applause of an adoring audience."

Okay,  (*breathe*breathe*) rant over.  I will let it go, and continue to ignore bad behavior.

Still don't understand why they are so driven to continually do this sh*t . . .


History does not record anywhere a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help.  -- Robert A. Heinlein
12-22-2010 06:21 PM
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kevout2



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Post: #2
RE: Facebook neediness

Geez, and I thought Aspies were guilty of being eccentric and self-centered.  Go figure!

12-22-2010 06:33 PM
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Duckfetishgirl



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RE: Facebook neediness

I'm needy too. Though that sounded more like what my aunt does. Acting like no one appreciates her.


I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it will be with a knife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qmud3AsmMM

If I offended you, please let me know via pm. I tend to do it without realizing it. I can be clueless as to how my humor comes across. Please be nice about it.

12-23-2010 05:41 AM
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Duckfetishgirl



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Post: #4
RE: Facebook neediness

My dad says she's "always on the pity pot".  She does complain a lot. Aaccording to my dad her situation is her own doing. She is lazy and irresponsible and there's more. She spent over 400 grand of her father in law's money when he lived with her. My dad has no idea where that money went to. She is very much broke now.


I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it will be with a knife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qmud3AsmMM

If I offended you, please let me know via pm. I tend to do it without realizing it. I can be clueless as to how my humor comes across. Please be nice about it.

12-23-2010 06:13 AM
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Shoneh



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Post: #5
RE: Facebook neediness

Smiley Wrote:
Status update reads "L--- B--- is feeling my time and effort and sacrifices are going unnoticed and unappreciated."

Gaaaaackkkk!!!!  

I translate this to read "L--- B--- is wanting everyone to post on her wall that she is indeed special and wonderful and oh so very appreciated, to reaffirm her center of the universe-ness, and to give her pats on the back for doing plain old normal life stuff that everyone else does without requiring the applause of an adoring audience."


The overwhelming majority of what people do on Facebook is a complete waste of time.  On the other hand, if a prospective employer see this status update, it will probably reflect really badly in terms on her getting the job.

12-23-2010 05:45 PM
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AspieMomma



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Post: #6
RE: Facebook neediness

This is why I don't do facebook, and twitter is even less appealing.  

Narcissism is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  It isn't reasonable, and its irritating.  Unless you're on par with Mother Theresa, I don't wanna hear it!  And she was hardly narcissistic, she was incredibly humble.  Maybe that is it, that those who have the egos usually have less to flaunt, while those who have much to flaunt choose not to? Or maybe I'm just jealous that anyone could have that kind of self esteem.  I dunno, but it is irritating.


...lemon curry?...
12-23-2010 05:58 PM
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kevout2



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Post: #7
RE: Facebook neediness

I don't know about Facebook except that my neice and nephew use it and are proficient with it; especially my neice.  I don't care to ever meddle with Facebook as a way to socialize and meet people; it can open up a new Pandora's box.

My 2nd. ex-wife chatted on Friendster all the time (and probably still does).  I thought most of those who posted on Friendster were arrogant, superficial and narcissistic.  My impression for those who posted profiles and chatted on Friendster was that it was like a pissing contest as to who was better than whom.  The gals posting would brag about their material posessions and their jobs.  In reality what they bragged about was really embellishment.

12-23-2010 06:27 PM
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Kapkao
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Post: #8
RE: Facebook neediness

AspieMomma Wrote:
This is why I don't do facebook, and twitter is even less appealing.  

Narcissism is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  It isn't reasonable, and its irritating.  Unless you're on par with Mother Theresa, I don't wanna hear it!  And she was hardly narcissistic, she was incredibly humble.  Maybe that is it, that those who have the egos usually have less to flaunt, while those who have much to flaunt choose not to? Or maybe I'm just jealous that anyone could have that kind of self esteem.  I dunno, but it is irritating.


Everyone is at least a little narcissistic, even Aspies.

12-23-2010 07:20 PM
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kevout2



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Post: #9
RE: Facebook neediness

Kapkao Wrote:

Everyone is at least a little narcissistic, even Aspies.


You bring up a very valid point.  For Asperger people; to compensate for perpetual feelings of inferiority (a coping strategy); they'll have tendencies to boast about their strong points or at least agressively draw attention to them (special talents, above average academic acheivement, etc.).

I'd say just about all Aspies are "NT-wannabes" or were once "NT-wannabes".  An Aspie grows up with a near constant onslaught of negative reinforcement; including persistent general criticism, failures in many activities (especially organized sports), social rejection, and bullying.  Of the strong points an Aspie has, his tendency will be to emphasize it for that is what makes him good or "socially worthy".  Think of the nard who thinks that his special math skills will impress a girl he likes.  Many Aspies will pretend to be more than what they really are in a given area and eventually make fools of themselves and fail miserably.

If you read the posts on the ASPartners forums, common complaints by NT-female-significant-others are how their husbands/exhusbands/boyfriends/exboyfriends think they are so great and know everything.  (In reality I take that to be 1) emphasis on flaunting their special skills or education as a defensive strategy, and 2) becoming assertive to maintain their level of comfort in their environment; again examples of life coping strategies.)

A long time ago, in a newspaper column, I read about a woman complaining about her engineer husband.  It would drive her nuts with his ways such as hanging pictures on the wall with precision.  Well, he's an engineer with well above average skill and foresight when it comes to any kind of home improvements or home decorating.  She was probably repulsed by his "nerd" tendencies.

From books I've read written by Aspies, they have mentioned that all their lives they were really pretending to be somebody other than themselves.  I beleive this applies to all Aspies.  It certainly applies to me.  (I must admit to more-or-less always pretending I was somebody else including my youngest brother.)  I think this is because we grow up being rebuked, criticized and corrected for being our natural selves.

12-23-2010 07:41 PM
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iocus



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Post: #10
RE: Facebook neediness

if someone had proposed the facebook idea to me, i would have sent them away, thinking no one would be interested in hearing about what others are eating for breakfast or if they had a nap this afternoon, so they wouldn't use it. I'll never be a good entrepreneur.

12-24-2010 02:06 AM
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d_olson27
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Post: #11
RE: Facebook neediness

I have a Facebook account, but mostly just so I can see pictures of my nephews that I don't get to see very often.


Friends will let you be who you are. Best friends will never let you forget it. I'm just trying to be everyone's best friend.
12-24-2010 02:44 AM
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Marcia



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Post: #12
RE: Facebook neediness

I use Facebook to keep in touch with people I know, but who live far away so I don't see them very often.  As d_olson27 mentions, it's really good for sharing photographs of family and events.  

A friend of mine, whose son is Aspie, and who definately is close to or on the Spectrum himself, moved to the very north of Scotland earlier this year, and it's been great to see the photographs of his new home and the surrounding area.  I mention the Aspieness because he posted 39 photographs of the move itself - the removal van arriving, the removal van empty with doors open, the removal van one quarter, one half, three quarters full, full with doors open, doors closed, leaving their street .....removal van on the road, removal van arriving at new house, doors open, three quarters, half, one quarter full etc. Lol!


We are all made in God's image! Celebrate our diversity of gifts!

"Aspies For Freedom chooses to oppose all forms of prejudice and bigotry."  
12-24-2010 02:54 AM
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AspieMomma



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Post: #13
RE: Facebook neediness

Kapkao Wrote:

AspieMomma Wrote:
This is why I don't do facebook, and twitter is even less appealing.  

Narcissism is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  It isn't reasonable, and its irritating.  Unless you're on par with Mother Theresa, I don't wanna hear it!  And she was hardly narcissistic, she was incredibly humble.  Maybe that is it, that those who have the egos usually have less to flaunt, while those who have much to flaunt choose not to? Or maybe I'm just jealous that anyone could have that kind of self esteem.  I dunno, but it is irritating.


Everyone is at least a little narcissistic, even Aspies.


I agree, perhaps even more so because of difficulty with theory of mind.


...lemon curry?...
12-24-2010 03:48 AM
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g4merd00de
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Post: #14
RE: Facebook neediness

Call this weird but I used to sit at the playground swings, all alone, watching the social gathering rituals of NT's at football games trying to figure them out. And to this very day I'm still trying to figure their needs for social interactions.

09-28-2011 05:44 PM
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Xaisede



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Post: #15
RE: Facebook neediness

Sounds like my mother in real life.


09-28-2011 06:52 PM
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