Asperger's is not an explanation for anything. It is a description of a set of traits that correlate. That's all. It doesn't explain why your son acts 'weird', it just describes the specific set of ways he acts weird in a convenient three syllable world.

It should not be a relief, any more than it should be a relief that other people are weird. It explains nothing, because it is not explanatory it is descriptive, and there is a difference between those two things.

Why do people find this simple distinction so hard? It drives me nuts.

it helps predict future action

Some interesting reading on the underlying question:

http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/?pageId=364

I know; when people see everything thru Asperger Eyes it's hurtful. Me and ThePandoricaOpened both had this problem with our mothers... everything we said, thought, felt and did was put down to Asperger's.

my mum talks to me like im stupid. i get this from idiot strangers but its painful from faimly

What are you trying to say? That Aspergers isn't an explanation for why my 5-year-old son walks around and around in circles, talks almost incessantly at a volume sufficient to wake the dead, and can memorise strings of numbers or whole storybooks with ease? That he is just weird and that Aspergers is nothing more than a convenient label for weird kids?

Thanks for clearing that up.

Ok by me. Thanks for making that clear.

(From somebody who was an Aspie kid once)  Let me assure you that alot is going through your 5-year-old son's mind when he is walking around in circles.  He is probably bored with the present reality around him or otherwise he'd be engaged in a real activity (ex. building a model airplane; building a Lego fort, etc.)  He is "daydreaming" about what he'd like to be doing if the resources to do whatever he'd like were at his disposal and he had the power and knowledge to accomplish what he's like to accomplish.  When I was in elementary school, I walked around in circles (or "daydreamed") at recess all the time.

It predicts it significantly less well than knowing that person would. Or even knowing a specific trait of their personality.

No it isn't an explanation it is just a way of describing the phenomenon that there are a number of people like your son who share those specific weird traits, increasing the proba ability that they come from a common cause-though we don't know whether that is the case, or what the cause is, or whether it would be worth removing that cause given that we know these traits tend to be linked to other positive ones.

It's a convenient label for a particular type of weird.

I'm lost for words.

"It's a convenient label for a particular type of weird."

but couldnt you say that about anything?

Heh. I still walk around in circles! When that happens, it's usually because I'm trying to figure out what to do next. It generally happens when I've lost track and am trying to get back on track. Moving helps me think, so if I'm pacing chances are I'm trying to think.

Why wouldn't knowing about Asperger's be a relief, though? It means that you have a name for your kid's weirdness, you know that there are lots of other kids with the same weirdness, and there's a list of things that have helped those other kids learn, and might help your kid. It gives you all these possibilities. Plus, AS isn't progressive and it's not a result of bad parenting, both of which are a relief in and of themselves.

I was in my mid-forties when I finally got my diagnosis, and I admit it was a big relief to me to know that I wasn't just some weirdo but that there was a whole lot of other people out there who acted like me and found it perfectly reasonable within our culture.  

And once I had a name for the way I naturally reacted, I was able to research it further and find out as much as I could about who I am.  It was like opening a window and letting the sunshine in!  

Alison

But it is an explanation - there are a set of genetic variables that come together to create a type of mind in a person that causes them to think, feel, and behave in a certain way that is different from the average person.   It explains why the child is the way he or she is.  It is not "weird," the child is an acceptably different form of human, and believe me, it is a relief to find out your kid isn't just "weird!"  

Perhaps the problem with perspective lies in:  

1.  classifying all behavior, thoughts etc. as aspie, when some are simply human.  There is a danger here in viewing the child as sub human. It is belittling to have all of one's behaviors and ways of thinking analyzed and categorized.  

2.  Using aspergers as a grand free pass in life, and abandoning all effort to try to help the child to improve in areas that he or she struggles in.