I come here often to find solutions to problems, so I thought I'd share a positive situation in our family.  

My kiddos and I were watching cartoons together the other day, and a public service announcement came on about bullying.  My 6 y/o (very socially awkward, actually had problems with bullying without really understanding it) looked confused and said, "Mom, what's bullying?"  

I was just floored.  That definitely validated our reasons for homeschooling.  We were able to pull him before he really had a concept of that.  Maybe he won't have to experience what so many others do.

Nothing is possaive about bullying and it is sad people bully, and I feel people who bully she be taken into court and prosicuted. I am sueing this guy for bullying me. I have tried to take my own life because of bullying.  It is sad. And I say this It shouldn;t happen in the 1st place, there is no excuse for it.

Its a very good reason for homeschooling. Our tactic was different, use a school with a very proactive and no compromise approach. But this was a very expensive private school. However our son just graduated with an academic award in, unsurprisingly, IT. And is off to uni next year, unsurprisingly, for a degree in IT (programming).

All we ask as aspies is a fair go, free of bullying and we can be every bit as good or even excel in some areas that would drive a NT nuts.

Aspies have potential and talents in areas that NTs often lack.  Aspies have the ability to do certain kinds of jobs that NTs wouldn't want to do or in some cases, even contemplate doing.  In the end, society is interdependent on what Aspies can do and contribute as well as what NTs can do and contribute.

Perhaps if there was more respect for Aspies, beginning in childhood (which implies enforcing laws against bullying; a form of harassment and discrimination); the autistic segment would not be a fiscal burden on a given society.  It is really ashamed that many on the spectrum can not work and have to collect something meager for subsistance considering that these same folks could be successful, contributing members to society if they weren't rejected by society at large for decades and instead (going back to childhood) had their abilities nurtured.

Speaking of going to university and IT work and things like that, some of you may not know about the nonPareil Institute in Texas.  I don't remember if posting links is allowed or not, so I won't risk it, but you can search it up yourself, if interested.  It's a still-forming residential program that specializes in employment and community for adults on the autistic spectrum.  They are really doing some interesting work as part of their project of making an appropriate place for people who really do need a different way to live.

I have recently found out about a nice form available called the "Request for Adult Intervention Form", which is a pretty long and complicated sounding title for an otherwise easy to use and lovely form.  For those students who have trouble expressing themselves verbally (especially when they are in a stressful situation), they would use this form to make a written (nonverbal) request for help with a bullying situation, by leaving the form on a teacher's desk, or in a designated area, or just handing it to someone directly, even though they don't feel able to talk about it quite yet.  This would be great for teachers to have a stack of on a desk for students to pick up when they need it.  Or, parents could be sure their child has a supply of the form in their own desk, if appropriate.  This version of the form is free to copy and distribute (with attribution, noted at the bottom of the form), or you can just use it for inspiration to make your own that is similar.

I guess I am going to risk a link after all, hope it's okay, because I do think this could be helpful for many people.

Visit http://www.play-smart.com/courage.shtml and then click on "Adult Intervention Form" in the text for printing.

This sounds kind of naive to me.

I'm sorry to say this, but there is always going to be bullying in the world. Someday your child may encounter a more serious situation when they are older. There are nutcases who randomly stab people people in the street, and gangs who beat people to death for laughes (wether they intend it or not I don't know).

How are you going to prepare your kids for these types of situations? Just a thought, I don't mean to be rude or anything.

Letting your kids be bullied teaches them nothing, in fact what it does teach them is to be a victim.  Having experienced bullying, I know there is often nothing you can do to stop it, which also means there is nothing you can learn.  This means the experience is only a negative one and it only leads to bad things - low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and suicide attempts.  

Also children are at their most vulnerable. They need a safe environment to grow up in to be able to develop good self-confidence. If they get a good environment they are more likely to be able to stick up for themselves later on.  You need good self confidence first before you are able to stick up for yourself.

Self confidence and self preservation - Hmm ...

Young children start with self confidence- and it can get damaged...

Someone busy trying to protect oneself and compensate has a much harder time developing into who they are meant to be... (stress lets off harmful hormones too)

The longer a child has to instill a firm sense of who they are and feel happy about it, the better armor they have later for ignoring ...

There is no perfect world...

(decided not to rant on and on giving specific details)

DNFTT

Its just one of those things we all wish to avoid... including me

Soz, I came across too hard.

I'm not for a second implying that you should let kids be bullied.

I went to a school with the philosify that bullying was a natural stage in a kids development, and for the most part, they let these incidents happen under the supervision of staff.

The other kids used to throw things at me in full view of the teachers. One time they even brought over one of the toddlers from the kindy and got her to say something nasty to me, and praised her for it. It's disgusting on so many levels.

But it isn't true to say that nothing can be done about bullying. There are many, many things that can be done. True, alot of them don't work, it's just a judjment you need to make depending on the situation.

I was on the train once, and there's this guy who sometimes travels along the same path as me with his kid. I saw them getting heckeled by another kid and his older brothers who had been causing trouble with the other passengers. They wanted the guys cigarets, and they were picking on his son. His son was clearly getting angry, and intimidated.

When his dad stepped in though, he handeled the situation perfectly. He just told them in a way that was calm, but firm, but totally casuall and on their wathlength, that they were not going to get his cigarets, and they should just mind their own buisness and leave the other passengers alone. He even threw in a little bit about "staying out of jail". Then, when they left, he and his son shook their hands (that weird, gangster knuckle tap), and that was it

If I'd said the same thing, I probably would have gotten bashed. It's just the way he handeled himself.

When they left he had a chat with his son, made a few jokes, and told him that he was going to have to be on the train himself someday, and would need to know how to handle these things.

That's the type of thing that teachers should be doing. All they seem to do is the bare minimume to brush it under the carpet. You can't expect to eradicate bullying, but you can change the way it's handeled, and maby kids can learn something in the proccess.

^Exactly. The vast majority of teachers, in my experience, are completely clueless about the dynamics and nature of bullying among schoolchildren.

In a perfect world there would be teachers who would be prepared to protect a child who is at risk of bullying within the school environment, and to teach the child strategies for dealing with those situations outside the school environment.

But, in lieu of that, if the parents can provide a safe environment for the child, then that has to be a good thing.

Now that kiddo is in a public school, I'm happy to report that they are extremely anti-bully.  We live in a pretty progressive area, so they're on top of things more than other school districts in the country.  They have signs all over the school as well as an actual curriculum about it build into the classes.  I hope it helps, oldest is very susceptible to bullying because he's very naive and young for his age.

Glad you found a school that is anti-bullying AspieMomma. I think it's a great thing that you want to protect your children from those types of experiences.

Trailer - What I meant by there is nothing you can do about bullying is that there is nothing the child can do to stop it.  The teachers and parents can do something, but in my case neither thought it was a problem.
There is no way I'm going to let my children be bullied. I think children who bully should be expelled.  Often the bullies parents know what their children are doing and don't care because there are no consequences for them. If there is the threat of expulsion I think the bullies parents might actually do something.  Hopefully my children won't experience bullying, but if they do, I'll be having words with the school and if they won't do anything, my children will go to a new school.

Bullying will always be around just like criminal acts (rape, murder, robbery, etc.) will always be around.  (bullying ought to be included as a criminal act depending on the degree; come to think of it bullying ought to be statutorily codified into various degrees; the most severe forms being defined as felonies).  What can be done about bullying is there can be severe consequences for bullying.

A persons character begins in the home when he/she's a child.  If adults bully; and they have children; the children will think that it's OK to bully.  Worse yet is parents that encourage their children to be bullies.  I once lurked at a site (of interest but having nothing to do with Asperger Syndrome other then the members castigating people with Aspie characteristics among other things people get discriminated against) of which; I'd describe the men and the women who made posts there as not nice people.  The men who typically posted (the "in" crowd) were the ultra-macho tough types of males.  (I swear they could "smell any Aspie over the internet".)  Well, there was one man who posted and said that he'd much rather get a call from his son's school principle telling him that his son beat somebody up than get a call from the principle telling him that his son got beaten up.  Now what message does this send to a youngster?