OK last year I had a problem with a person I considered a close friend who I didn't expect to betray me but she called me a stalker so i did a brief check and couldn't find anything now i found this recently, i in no way fancied the girl but is this us and some more checks lead me to find people get arrested for harassment or being an incompetent suitor.

Has anyone been in the same boat and if so what happened? She approached her line manager as I used to work with her but I feel only one side of the story got told and that wasn't mine.

I can only speak as an actual stalker. Being accused of stalking a girl you don't want is lame.

Some girls make up stories like this to drum up a little bit of excitement. Makes it worse for the true victims of real stalkers of course but that thought never enters their tiny little minds.

That was completely unfunny. Maybe that's not a word. But your words aren't funny  either   But anyway, sounds like everyone should stay away from that other 'incompetent suitor' person.

True stuff isn't always funny. Sometimes it's heartwrenching, other times profound.

Oh so that's true now lol, I would think you not proud to admit that.

I've done more ****** up stuff than you can imagine. Learned from all of it. That's why I win.

I think this got a bit out of hand people, i was hurt badly and tbh they played with my mind one day i was told something then another the opposite, it wasn't nice and i wouldn't treat people like that, i had 2 relatives die on me and my dad heading the same way, when things like that happen you need a friend, a true friend is always there not a person who tells you lies and behaves like a 5yr old by telling other people things you have told them, then they come and turn it around on me and say that guy has some serious problems. I trusted them and so i kindoff feel a bit frustrated with them.

Not sure how many 'true friends' really exist out there. Out there being the great black void of nothingness.

Thats true, I was brought upto trust people though as I am sure most others where too in this forum and we shouldn't have to second guess everyone because of people out there who don't tell the truth, i depended on them telling me the truth in the regard as it was in regards to jobs and with having whats classed as a hidden disability (epilepsy) it hurt especially during the current climate and as such my confidence in them is lost.

I agree, but I've learned to be less trusting. I used to trust everyone and it got me  nowhere but taken advantage of, used, etc. You can only trust yourself to measure up to your own standards of what  is right, not anyone else. If you don't have your own best interest at heart, then nobody else will. That's why I choose being  alone nowadays, or maybe it chooses me, but despite what some people may think, you only really need one good person  in your life. So I'm sure you'll find someone else to fill that void.

(Sean) Your sentiment echos as to the kind of man I've molded into based on life experiences.  Even a mere 5 years ago I was a different person than I am today as far as attitutes about general goodness of humanity and trusting other people is concerned.  The truth is there is far more bad in the world than there is good.

I have behaved like a stalker. I have been obsessed with men and gone on and on at them. I did it very badly when I was in my 20s, around 20 years ago. Now I have the impulse which I keep in check. I simply keep my miserable feelings inside, once real-world things with the other people have burned out into acrimony.

It's just another version of Aspie obsessiveness, I believe. Collectors have gone to prison for theft because that was the only way they could get the full set of whatever. Gary McKinnon's obsessions led him to hack the US government. This is the same - an impulse which eats away at you. All the wisdom I have is this: Treat it like an illness and keep away from the person you're obsessed with.

I've behaved like a stalker too. Despite being really introverted, I'm fascinated by people. But because I don't like to and can't talk to them, I observe them instead. I know a disturbing amount of information about people I haven't even spoken to before.

I agree with HuytonGirl, it is a form of Aspie obsessiveness.

Stuff like this is always easily mistaken.... even if obessive or not.