Usually I can tell by looking at the baby's face and mannerisms. Usually (if not always) I am right. I got at least one shocker tho; a girl in boys' clothes.

Adam's Apple, prominent eyebrow ridge and jaw, facial hair, deep voice, wide shoulders (compared to hips), and/or an obvious 'package' generally means male.

No adam's Apple, smooth forehead, receding lower jaw, little or no facial hair, high-pitched voice, narrow shoulders (compared to hips), and/or prominent 'booty' generally means female.

If I just can't tell, and I need to interact with that person, then I usually go by the name, which usually (but not always) gives a strong clue.

If no interaction is needed, then I wait for someone to clue me in.  Otherwise, knowing a stranger's gender isn't important to me.

Babies though are more problematic, since the secondary sexual attributes haven't yet developed.  

And names aren't always a good indicator, either, since parents can tend to give their children the most amazing names for either gender, usually with dreadful intricate spelling as well.  

I've had a little boy in my class called "Jade" and three kids in one class all called "Lindsay", one of which was a girl, the other two boys.  

That's not counting all the various ethnicities to negotiate, with names such as Dinoga, Disha, Remi, and Millar.  Often the result is quite unpronounceable, much less giving any indication of gender!
Alison

I actually call grownups "Him/her" when I don't know their gender. Some of them are hard to tell what they are when they cross dress and make themselves look feminine. I could go by name but they usually have a female name but it doesn't make it their real name. It could be their role play name or nickname for what they want to be. I have no idea if they are transgender either and I would hate to offend them by asking.

We dressed DD in whatever clothes we could find at the thrift store.  She didn't walk until 2 and commando crawled until about 20 months old.  That's real hard on clothes, hence whatever was sturdy looking she wore.

It didn't bother me whath sex people assumed she was because most of the people wouldn't see her again.  If they assumed she was a boy I just said, "Yes, Levi, is a sweetie."   So "It" is no biggie in my book.

Nobody answered my question. WHY IS IT CONSIDERED OKAY TO CALL A CHILD "IT" BUT NOT AN ADULT??

Because of confusion over gender ambiguity and the fear of being wrong.

yuji, what is more wrong is calling a child It! People shoudl stop thinkijg that not embarrassing themselves comes before treating kids like humans. Actually, in the perfect world, people would be ashamed to call children It. And there is also gender ambiguity in adults. Yet we don't call ANY adult It.


How come suddenly nobody is listening?

babies make me nervouse.

I haven't heard people call children "it".  I have heard little babies, usually before they lose their baby hair, being called it.  Since they in all likelihood don't understand spoken words, I don't see any harm.  

BTW - lest you think I'm being harsh calling a baby it, I referred to my self as a spinster (and quite unabashedly) until I married at 34. And I still say I was a spinster.  I am proud to be well on my way to being an old woman (to heck with Senior Citizen) and am developing an old woman's attitudes, actions and persona.  Long Live The Grey!!!!

I'd think it'd be due to a baby under six months not having the language skills or emotional baggage to be hurt, in any way, with regards to "It".

Most adults, on the other hand, are more invested in their gender identity, I think.  I've met people who say that being a man is so important, so integral, to who they are, deep down, that they couldn't handle being described in a gender-neutral fashion.  It would somehow take something away from them.  

do you want a list?
i can't help thinking you're being a bit... melodramatic.. here. that's just my opinion.

This post was last modified: 05-27-2010 02:13 PM by nialll.

Would you rather make a mistake and call a little girl "he" or a little boy "her"?  

From about the age of four they can get very offended if you can't tell their gender.  That's why I usually duck the issue altogether and say "sweetie" or "darl".  

Children are very self-centred little individuals anyway; today I was in the preschoolers bathroom helping a boy and a girl with their toilet training.  The little boy finished and I helped him wash his hands with soap and water, my back to the little girl who was still on the toilet.  I said something to him, "good boy for washing your hands so well" or something along those lines.  

The little girl, who I'd not even been facing, got quite upset that I had called her "a boy".  I told her I hadn't been talking to her, I'd been talking to Josh, but still she seemed to be on a single track and told my assistant as we exited the bathroom "Ali thinks I'm a boy!  She called me Josh!" in indignant tones.    Somehow she managed to ignore the fact that Josh had been there as well.  

I've found this self-centredness to be a not-uncommon occurence in my job working with children.  They tend to think there is nobody in the universe but themselves.  

Alison (who doesn't mind what you call me, so long as you don't call me "late for dinner".)

This post was last modified: 05-27-2010 02:32 PM by Alison.

Because, like it or not, an infant is thought of as property: an object, not a full human being, not equal to the person calling the baby "it."
It's a form of ageism.

I am female. I have looked like a guy sometimes in the past. Once someone even called me "Sir". I would much rather be mistaken for a boy than be called "It"!


I agree with the "babies don't care about it usually" thing tho.

This post was last modified: 05-27-2010 10:52 PM by Ana54.