As long as I'm posting in this string (nothing to do with Marcia's post)...  in general it seems to me that American culture is a bit "clean"-obsessed on "looking" clean.
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Oh, there's no doubt we're too "clean - obsessed on looking clean" but that is not really the crux of the issue. We don't really place a great deal of stress on our son regarding matters of appearance, aesthetics, or style. He is not "made" to brush his hair (it is only presented as an option). He is strongly encouraged to dress himself, even though he most often emerges from his bedroom with what might be widely regarded as  preposterous ensembles. But if he wants to go forth in this world with Birkenstocks and two different colored socks with checked pants and a striped shirt then God bless him. Maybe his "lack of style" is his STYLE. It is somewhat encouraging to see that he is not a slave to the NT world's dictates of "style" and that he is not a wearer of the "uniform".
However, it is not at all encouraging when he emerges from the bathroom without having washed his hands, when he refuses to brush his teeth (you should see the dental bills), and, admittedly, when he doesn't bathe regularly (although I don't think the twice a week we currently demand of him is obsessive). My son could live in a sterile plastic bubble and still not "look" clean. However, there are  health issues to consider and it is important to us to lay down for him the foundations of what is important. We, in no way, confuse hygiene with grooming.

“There lurks, perhaps, in every human heart a desire of distinction, which inclines every man first to hope, and then to believe, that Nature has given him something peculiar to himself.” ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

This post was last modified: 07-15-2010 11:47 PM by magpie.

As it happens, I've just been looking at this website about sensory processing disorder/sensory integration dysfunction.  Issues around bathing, hairwashing, dental hygiene are mentioned here under the heading of tactile defensiveness.

Have you spoken to anyone about sensory issues?

Marcia,

Thanks for the website. Our son currently receives occupational therapy, psycho- therapy, speech therapy, and some physical therapy (grossly uncoordinated). Each therapist is trying to help alleviate some of the extreme sensory issues. I am eager to read anything about tactile defensiveness the site may have. Thanks again.

“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.” ~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902)

This post was last modified: 07-16-2010 02:02 AM by magpie.