I am bringing this up as a generalism, I don't want this topic to be about any particular aspie. It is not about me, for one thing.

It has come to my attention that many aspies get accused of stalking or some other inappropriate anti-social behaviour on similar lines. I think all they are trying to do is make friends or relationships and are going about it the wrong way. (Although Morrissey would tell them to shut their mouths. That line actually really hit home for me, with the line "I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does", and I wondered if Moz was aspie himself or just a shy guy).

It doesn't only apply to men, by the way. I know of at least one aspie female online who has been in trouble for stalking tendencies.

Is this lack of social tolerance or is it lack of awareness of the "rules" by an aspie. I also think it might be that the aspie is not "reading the signs" that the other person is giving to "back off" and so continues with their behaviour.

I also think the aspie may feel they are being treated "unfairly" by the people they are "only trying to be friends with - what's so bad about that?", and that "they would see I am a nice person if they'd only give me a chance and get to know me".

Some of these later things are feelings I have felt in my life.

I was not aware of any actual real-life accusations of stalking applying to aspies (any more than any other group) I don't know if any one even keeps track of that sort of thing.

However, I think that body language --leaning forward when walking (I am thinking of my one son) looking like you were walking from point A to point B - in a straight line  (so it would appear you were aiming at a person/that person if they were looking) and then coming up a little too close when you go there - may make it seem as if you were being followed - when it is not true at all.

(just speculating)

short version of all the above words  "being direct in your approach"

some younger Aspies probably dont realise that what they are doing is considered stalking, naive I guess. I am guessing older Aspies would know better

It's only stalking if the object of your affections wants you to stop.

Yep...

Yes, but if they don't outright tell you to stop and expect you to somehow know, like an NT would know... well, I can see how an Aspie might be clueless enough not to figure it out.

Really, somebody needs to inform the poor clueless Aspie teens exactly where the boundaries are, because apparently the NTs assume we know perfectly well where they are, and step over them, when we do, deliberately!

You mean like when a man is supposed to automatically know when his girlfriend or wife wants him to do something without her ever telling him?

Or when a woman is supposed to know when her boyfriend or husband wants.....  (good for goose good for gander )

NT women do that. Like you were supposed to do something as part of the unwritten partnership contract and didn't. (exactly what that entails is a bit of a mystery to me) My wife has learnt to tell me precisely what she wants rather than get grumpy for no discernable reason (to me).

NT girls or White Girls in particular seem to bother me, its always the same with them always wanting something out of you, but then they realize your different and that scares the *offensive language deleted* out of them. seriously...

Its worse then being accused of stalking even....

I think it is a mixture of a lack of tolerance, and lack of awareness. More so the lack of tolerance.

I have been accused of inappropriate staring before. Not exactly stalking, but the subject was intended to cover all forms of inappropriate social contact, not just actual stalking.

Unlike the common aspie misconception, I would actually like to interact socially with other people. I obviously do things though that put them off. Often I just won't know what I'm supposed to say to have a conversation with someone. So I may end up staring at them, particular "pretty" ladies. I usually find it easier having conversations with other males.

When you get older you realize that "prettyness" is more of a matter of social conformity, most girls/women are trying to look that way (diets, make up, hair coloring, fashion, the whole 9 yards). So looks don't really matter. The only thing that distinguishes one pretty woman from another is who she is as a person. And that takes time to figure out because that is on the inside.