It happened last Saturday. I was going to the local mall when I saw this really hot black girl walk into a store. I followed her into the store, intending to approach her, but she was apparently bothered and filed a complaint that I was stalking her. These security guards and police officers then came to interview me about the situation.

Nothing really bad happened---I stayed cool and answered all their questions, and they let me go. Still, I wonder how to approach hot girls who are moving. How can I follow an attractive girl around without coming across as a stalker?

Just don't.

It's not cool. How do you know she wasn't rushing to meet her big, bad boyfriend? Or maybe she was a lesbian? Or a million other things...

This is not the way to approach a stranger.

You cannot follow a woman without giving her the creeps. Meeting woman at the mall is not a good idea, they are there to shop not pick up a date.

Try a dating service instead.

Don't follow women about.  It's creepy.

As Chosen says, try a dating service or somewhere where women expect to meet guys.

Simple really, you can't follow someone around without their consent. Jail is a possibility if the complaint is pressed. Use a dating service.

Thanks for the advice, though I'm not sure where to find a dating servive around here (I live in Monterey, CA).

Try an on-line dating service.  The kind where you make the initial contact on-line, then if you feel you're getting on well, you meet up in real life.

That girl over reacted.

You can't really say that without knowing the circumstances and the girl herself.  Maybe she's had previous bad experiences of being stalked or followed.

Craig's list, eharmony, match.com??  I assume these are legitimate.  There are a lot of recreational group outings in Monterey if you can handle groups.  Volunteering at the aquarium, striking up a conversation with others watching when a dolphin pod comes close to shore, volunteering  with the Monterey Marine Mammal Center, photography clubs, diving clubs, biking clubs, kayaking clubs, hang out at the monarch butterfly tree, become a regular at a cafe.

I'd agree with Spokane Girl - but then again, I have low self-worth, so didn't report someone stalking me until it became a regular thing.  And even then, although the university I was working at said that I had enough to charge harassment, I chose a lesser one.

That said, maybe you were creepy and didn't notice it?  That is a problem - knowing how to be subtle, as opposed to creepy.  Perhaps you should pursue some activities you think that hot chicks who are also interesting might attend.

Oh, thanks zoey - exactly what I was trying to hint at.

Although, there's more to life than "hot".  Actually, I suspect that the type of NT chick that would be into you would be offended at only being pursued because she was "hot" - especially if you are not at the same degree of hotness in her opinion.  Clearly the young lady wasn't flattered by your attention.

I'm not saying that you have to "settle" for fugly.  Just saying that perhaps you're going for the wrong thing, and if you did get it wouldn't be happy.

Could someone help out with a reputable dating service? Anyone ever use one? Could be of use to more than a few aspies here.

I had some guy try to introduce himself in a mall.  He asked me for a coffee and so I went.  I talked to him a bit.  When he asked for my phone number I said no.  He asked me why.  I told him it didn't have anything to do with race, how he looked  -- it was just that I found him too aggressive and I didn't think our personalities were matching.  He said at least I was honest.

I don't think it is really good to meet people just on the street or in the mall.  Better if you meet somewhere else where you can take some time to get to know them, meet their friends, observe how they act towards other people.

Dateable around Washington, DC

http://www.dateable.org