I started this list on a few other websites, and then added to it as I observe or find new examples; a tongue-in-cheek listing of characteristics pertaining to "Emos" and people who tend to express themselves emotionally more often than not. It's all intended to be humorous, much as Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be A Redneck If:" jokes. While I know that the "Emo Movement" is now passé, it seems fitting to look back on this phenomenon that affected so many for so long. Let's start of with a simple definition:

Emo: (1) A State of intense narcissism pretentiously wrapped in delusional, yet frivolous self-pity; or (2) A person or personality type that is typified by intense narcissism pretentiously wrapped in delusional, yet frivolous self-pity.

You Might Be Emo If:

- A threat of suicide is your ultimate method of winning an argument.

- All the belts you own are studded.

- An anime bishonen was your very first crush.

- An apology is nothing without a dramatic performance worthy of an acting award.

- An apology is nothing without utter debasement and humiliation of the person saying, "I'm sorry."

- An argument is never over until YOU decide that it's over.

- Anime is not just everything, it's the only thing.

- At least one pair of boots you own has at least one buckle.

- Being ignored is an intolerable crime.

- Being in a relationship is more important than ever making a significant contribution to it.

- Being laughed at is not as devastating as being ignored.

- Being paid attention to is an intolerable crime.

- Crying comes as natural to you as breathing.

- Crying is how you introduce yourself to strangers.

- Depriving others of your presence is your favorite way of getting back at them.

- Each piece of poetry you write is either an exposé of injustice, a suicide note, or both.

- Eeyore's optimism depresses you.

- Every arrival is a grand entrance, and every departure is a grand exit.

- Everyone should stop whatever they are doing in order to attend to your feelings.

- Goths avoid being seen with you.

- Goths call you a freak.

- Having good intentions is important as long as you don't act on them.

- Having the final word in an argument is more important than actually being right.

- Inflicting pain upon yourself is the only way for you to confirm that you are still alive.

- Inflicting pain upon yourself is your favorite way of punishing others.

- It's impossible for you to be happy in a world where other people know how to have a good time, especially if it's without you.

- It's more important for you to identify with the descriptions in this list than to ever submit a contribution to it.

- It's more important to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all.

- Long, rambling, ranting emails, blogs and website posts are your favorite tools of communication.

- MySpace removes your photograph for being too dramatic.

- No one else suffers as much as you do just for being alive.

- No one understands you, not even yourself.

- Nobody understands the way you feel, and wouldn't even care if they did.

- Only the saddest music moves you.

- People disagree with you only because they hate you.

- People should like you no matter how disruptive your behavior is.

- Punishing others involves removing yourself from their presence.

- Saving face is more important than doing the right thing.

- Someone pays you a compliment, and you feel anger for their stupidity.

- Someone tells you that they love you, and you react by feeling sorry for them.

- Something that happened long ago is suddenly worth getting emotional about.

- Suicide is a practical option to any set of choices.

- The jeans you wear could not be any tighter if they had been spray-painted on.

- The light at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train.

- The lives of fictional characters are infinitely more compelling than your own.

- The whole world is laughing at you.

- The world would never notice if you suddenly ceased to exist.

- This list angers and/or depresses you.

- When others object to your behavior, you would rather banish them from your presence than show any remorse for your actions.

- When someone criticizes your favorite artist, you immediately have a meltdown.

- You are reasonable only when people agree with you.

- You break up with someone, and then become angry or depressed when they form another relationship.

- You can identify more than 3 shades of black.

- You can not leave a group of people without first blaming them for driving you away.

- You can't stand your family, especially if they love and support you.

- You can't stand your family.

- You come closest to true joy only when listening to sad music.

- You exist solely to be insulted and treated like a freak.

- You fall in love only with those people that are completely indifferent or unattainable to you.

- You feel more comfortable in a miserable, yet familiar situation than in seeking an uncertain resolution from it.

- You go into mourning whenever someone else gets a new boy- or girl-friend.

- You hate going out-of-doors.

- You hate seeing people having fun together, telling jokes, and playing; as a result, you are often mistaken for a Methodist.

- You have a blind spot for the one common factor in all your troubles, especially when that one common factor is you.

- You have a dramatic picture on Myspace.

- You have ever mistaken niceness for interest, interest for friendship, friendship for commitment, commitment for love, or love for ownership.

- You have ever told someone that it would be their fault if you should ever decide to commit suicide.

- You have more scar tissue on your wrists than Evel Knievel does on his whole body.

- You have revolving credit at all the second-hand stores.

- You hide yourself away from the world, and then feel miserable because no one has found you.

- You keep a paper-based diary.

- You know how the terms "Across the Street," "Around the Bend," and "Down the Road" apply to cutting and suicide.

- You know that no one understands you, and that no one ever will.

- You know the difference between Indo, Metal, and Screamo.

- You know what you would look like as an anime character.

- You paint your fingernails black (even if you're a guy).

- You quote song lyrics that are meaningful to you as part of everyday conversation.

- You rush to the store for a razor blade sale.

- You scribble song lyrics on every writable surface.

- You see the emotional content in even the most insignificant event.

- You shop at second hand stores, even though you can afford Neiman-Marcus.

- You show your love and admiration for someone by copying their style, and then feel betrayed when they change it.

- You smile only when someone else dies ... alone ... at night ... naked ... in the rain ...

- You sterilize your razor blades before you cut yourself.

- You think eating more than one chicken nugget is pigging out.

- You think rambling freeverse is the highest form of poetry.

- You threaten to have a meltdown whenever things don't go your way.

- You try hard to not be noticed, and then become angry or depressed when people ignore you.

- You use the number of friends you have to determine the degree of your self-worth.

- You wear makeup and clothing designed to attract attention, and then become angry or depressed when people notice you.

- You wear more eyeliner than any three women you know, and you're a guy.

- You would rather banish everyone else and change all the rules to your favor than conform to the wishes of others and the established rules.

- You would rather risk banishment and ostracism than ever admit that you over-reacted to something someone else did or said.

- You would rather wallow in self-pity than forgive those who have hurt you.

- Your emotional state is all that matters, and all that should matter to anyone else.

- Your fingernails are black.

- Your funeral is not only planned, it is scripted.

- Your hair is not black enough.

- Your mating cry is a heart-felt "You don't know me at all!"

- Your problems are the worst that anyone, anywhere has ever had to endure.

- You've drawn yourself as an anime character.

You kill yourself over losing an ipod
You keep making posts about how bad your life is

you wear black eye-liner as casual.

1: that's obvious to anyone, with the addition of a single word; wrists.

2: OH COME ON. Iron Maiden are Metal (British, New Wave Of Heavy), whilst Screamo is evolved from Punk. I have no idea what indo is - indigenous? pan pipes? Regardless, the three categories are completely different - Metal has easily a dozen subtypes - Black, Heavy, Doom, Death, Speed, Thrash.

3: REAL Emos use a hammer, not paint.

i like some screamo. i even listen to hawthorne heights from time to time. and frequently use suicide/death metaphorically in songs i write. sure as hell not an emo kid over here though, even if i do generally wear more (black) eye makeup than plenty girls i know. i thought the whole emo thing was a bit dead anyway, apart from with teenage gay guys (just an observation).

having said that i might well have been unintentionally emo a few years back.

curtsey of SomethingPositive


Yes, I know, with the way I dress and the stuff I listen to, I have no room to poke fun
Please don't banhammer me for this pic

[edit] Please don't give instructions here (Gareth)

This post was last modified: 07-22-2009 12:44 PM by Gareth.

you may be emo if you make long lists putting down the way others feel.

You might be emo if everything matters so much to you that you never get the joke.

You might be emo if the only person that has the right to decide what you deserve is yourself.

You might be emo if you have a meltdown every time you do not receive what you believe you deserve.

You may be Emo when you consider black "just not black enough"

-if you wear so much black that Stephen Hawking writes a paper about you.

-You watched black note and enjoyed it
-When your pair of skinny jeans fits like a potatoe sack

Oh great I am emo. Well, some of it.

....You are so emo even other emo's hate you.