Sunnydaze, Amy is right. You sound very much like an Aspie yourself. Maybe that is why you are so tuned into what your daughter feels. And that is a very good thing.

You situation has similarities to mine. My  youngest daughter has AS traits, obvious dyscalculia (I need to remember to make the call to get her tested, my memory for doing unpleasant things is like a sieve) and ADD (again, not diagnosed, but very obvious). If I wouldn't be there to stand between her and my husband all the time, he would drive her insane (possibly literally).

He also used to force me to go to social events with him, but much of the time I refuse now. I won't go to company parties any more, or baseball games, or many other things. I just tell him I'm not going, because it takes me at least a week to recover afterwards, and I don't enjoy myself while I am there. So, he goes with one of our children, or a friend. I don't go to church every Sunday, either. Some Sundays I just can't handle even the idea of being surrounded by so many people, and of having to be friendly and chatting afterwards. It takes all my strength.

To your daughter: Maybe you can try to find picture books about specific situations, like going to the store, going to the dentist, doctor, whatever. I know there are quite a few out there, I've seen them. Reading those books to her, and explaining that now you'll be going to the place it describes might help.

If she has any comfort items, like a favourite blankey or doll, whatever it may be, let her take it with her.

Does she like music? Maybe you could give her a tape player or CD player with earphones to listen to her favourite music while in a strange place. I don't know if that would help, but I think it would have helped me as a child (and I wished it wouldn't be considered extremely rude and impolite for an adult to do that, otherwise I would, to tune people out  :twisted: ).