I was an Aide (substitute) in an English class.  Those of you who are students know how boring that is.  Adults may have forgotten.  Even so, I actually completed a poetry assignment given by the teacher, one in which we have a certain number of rhymes and a certain number of lines.  It was done in a few minutes, fueled by boredom and a sense of wanting to do something.  I will go ahead and share that poem, verbatim. I will change a few words for the sake of editing, but it will remain as I penned it.

I share this out of the sheer enjoyment of sharing it.  Literary critics are free to comment, but be advised that I am not interested....

"Bear spies his honey
    kept from him by fate,
amidst a dell so sunny,
    in an afternoon so late,
A vast distance kept,
the bear from the fruits of desire,
only desire without time, distance,
or internal direction,
        standing, walking, or running.

Bear stares across the water,
     at the object of his desire,
a desire ever deeper, ever hotter,
   in an afternoon so late,
   turned to an evening early,
   only time, distance, matter and energy,
       prevent the bear from trying if he
    would but bother."

"not interested" in banal forms of criticism, let me caveat.  Well thought-out opinions are OK.

ATM

I don't know if this qualifies for a well thought out opinion..... but your poem is good! I liked it a lot.
Did the teacher see your poem?

you seem a little defensive about your poem, must take some of the joy away from posting it[/color]

Thanks Chamuel.  There were once "certain characters" who liked to badmouth the poems of others.  I think that Gareth took care of that situation.

No, I decided not to bother the teacher.  She had enough on her hands with "certain characters" in her own classroom.  However, it was a fun project.

ATM

I think that it is a wonderfully writen poem. i enjoyed reading it and really liked your poem. I don't know what style of poetry that it is, but i wish that i could write like that. Good job

I liked it. Very much like a 'real' poem if that means anything. Very beautifully written and ... it's really too early for me to be discussing poetry, I need a cuppa coffee. There, coffee in hand. So, I liked all the symbolism and metaphors (sp?) if that's the right way to express it. Please, do write some more.

I liked it, I remeber that style from high school (long time ago) made me smile

methaphorically, I can see it applying to struggles of modern day life - good visual