I find it interesting people keep assuming this happened because she's autistic. I think the same thing would have happened to an NT student too if they also refused to take orders. I have seen kids getting in trouble in class when I was a kid because they didn't want to listen to their teacher or the teacher  had a problem with a student doodling and the teacher just takes it and throws it away after asking the child to stop and the child refuses. I didn't see them complaining the teacher did that to them because they're normal. Instead they just complained saying their teacher is mean. I have also seen teachers taking things from students because they didn't like them fiddling with it and they had asked for them to put it away. Me, I always kept my things put away because I didn't want to the teacher to take them and not get it back till the end of the school year.

They'll probably slap a gag order on them.

An NT wouldn't have done the same thing, and even if they had, they would not have had a meltdown.

NT children can be extremely unreasonable and have tantrums just as much as AS ones.  This is because they are *children*.  But we as adults are bigger, stronger, and have to be the more reasonable until they grow and learn self-control.  I've been head-butted, had my nose bloodied, and been given a split lip on three separate occassions, all by NT preschoolers in my class losing it and flying off the handle over something that's really not such a big deal.  However, I've never called police in to deal with any of them.  That is a huge overreaction on the part of the teachers; they should have known better.
Alison

She tried to leave the room. How is that a meltdown? She fought back when the teachers restrained her.

Even normal kids refuse to take orders. I have seen it.

Yes, and this order was particularly unreasonable. What could it have hurt if they had just let her wear her cow jumper to the party? It is yet another example of pettiness and giving orders just for the sake of it. This incident need never have happened had the teachers picked their battles wisely instead of making a big thing out of a perfectly innocent item of clothing.

The teacher was stupid yes but if that were me at that age and I was told "Beth, either you tuck in your tail and put your ears down or you will not be at this Christmas party. You would have to sit in the other classroom and wait till the party is over" I would have chosen the party and followed the stupid order because I was threatened to have the party taken away from me if I don't listen. Threats have always worked on me. My mother has threatened to toss my things out or dump me on the side of the road or pack all my toys away and I would have nothing to play with, rip up my book order, etc.

I probably would have tucked them in until some time after I got to the party and then let them out again.

That's interesting. I find people who have been negatively disciplined in the past, are the biggest supporters of people who participate in that negative discipline.

I guess if you never had the chance to consider it might be wrong to play head games with a child, you're not going to speak out against it. I suppose, learning to see that form of emotional abuse as normal, or reasonable, because it happened to you.

Well I'm not a spoiled brat. I learned and learned I can't have everything my way. People are stupid and life isn't fair and sometimes you have to follow stupid rules to avoid trouble.

I see, so everyone who doesn't follow authority is a "spoiled brat". That seems to be a way of comforting yourself, with the notion that you are superior to others because you follow rules.

You know, I'm really not going to do this again. I don't want to be thrown off these boards, for what would be interpreted as a personal attack, simply because I don't agree with over authoritarian parents. Feel free to delete my above post Gareth. I would, but you know, there's no edit button here.

It didn't seem to me that this child was a spoilt brat - she was reacting badly to an unreasonable request. Perhaps she might have complied if she were NT but then again, she might not have. A spoilt brat is a child who has learnt that the only way to get attention is to behave badly (paradoxically, such children have often been emotionally neglected - even if they are given a lot of material things).

"School officials responded to a request for an interview for this story by e-mail, with the district superintendent saying they followed a specific safety plan for Evelyn which was agreed upon by the district and her mental health provider."  

So how do these "plans" exist without the parent's knowledge or consent?  

I wonder if the school had a uniform or dress code that stated "no cow shirts" allowed.  

The teachers are probably angry because they are not allowed to swat the bums of naughty children and tired of kids hitting them without consequence and so they call the police.  The whole "zero tolerance to violence" policy is just out of control.  

If she was not allowed to wear the cow shirt for some reason, that is was against the rules, then she should have done what she was told to do and took it off.  Breaking the rules has consequences and the children should know that.  As stupid as some people might think this is -- break the rule about wearing the shirt -- you don't get to go to the party.  Hitting someone because you are angry about it doesn't work either.  

I know someone who is a teacher.  He claims that he is not allowed to punish children who break the school rules and the only punishment available is suspension which only the principal can give out.  Calling the police who put the kids in handcuffs might seem extreme but all some had to do was to swat that kid back -  which no one will do.  

I don't think that is beyond the understanding of an eight year old child with Asperger's that schools have rules and breaking the rules means there are consequences.  I know.  I have Asperger's.  When I was that age in school -- breaking the rules such as talking when we were not supposed to meant getting slapped on the hands with a ruler.  Other punishments could be sitting in the corner (not really damaging to a person with autism as I would have preferred that), detention, writing out lines, sending a note or phone call home (possible worst punishment), going to have a chat with the principal (and phone call home) etc.  But it seems that teachers are not allowed to give out these punishments these days.  

Obedience does seem to be a value that is on any parents list of virtues they wish to instill in their children.  I know from being in the army that is saved my life and prevented disaster a few times.