I tried reading a novel by Irvine Welsh called Filth. I had to give up as every other word was impossible to understand. Years ago I read a novel by Denise Mina called Garnethill and one of the characters was named Siobhan and I was so mad about that I didn't know how to pronounce it. Few years after I sat talking to an aquaintance when she said something to the effect that I found it reasonable to ask her about the name. Oh, yes. It's pronounced like Shivonne.

Could someone translate this line from the novel Filth?

-What a din Bruce! Dinnae ken how ye can listen to that!

Translation:

What a noise Bruce!  I don't know how you can listen to that!

At my parents' house is a paperback collection of short stories by Robert Louis Stevenson...one of them, "Thrawn Janet," is written entirely in Scots dialect, with a glossary included at the end of the book!

I'm actually a fan of Irvine Welsh, so reading Scots dialect really isn't that hard for me. FWIW, a good portion of the American Appalacian dialect is quite similar to the Scots dialect due to the fact that the majority of people that settled in Appalacia were Scots to begin with.

Apparently there's some speculation that the Appalachian accent is the closest surviving dialect to Shakespearian english.

Ah don' reilleh speik Scots, naow, but ah cahn tawk a purdy gud Sowth-Eastin Yew-Ninéd Stayts!

Dialects are fun. I notice some people on this thread mentioned being able to read phonetically rendered dialect but not being able to understand it when spoken-- that's happened to me before, but I've also noticed sort of an opposite effect sometimes. Really, almost any English accent or dialect, even the most "standard", can be rendered bizarre if you always spell words exactly as most people would pronounce them in conversation.

Foer exaympull, tayk thiz sennence in a newtrull Uhmarican aksent.

...Which doesn't really make sense, given that Appalachia was settled primarily by the Scots-Irish, and long after Shakespeare's day.

Also, an accent is not a dialect. Even though I myself didn't differentiate between them all that well in my previous postage. Dang!

< / pedantic >

True, an accent is not a dialect, though it is well on it's way towards becoming a dialect, however expressions and vernacular associated with people who have that accent are closer still. --All that needs to happen at that point is for that accent and vernacular to be codified.

I don't know enough about it to know what the reasoning is behind it.  I just found it interesting.

One half of my family speak Gaelic and the other half tend to use pure Glaswegian with some auld Scots thrown in for good measure.  As for me, I'm stuck in the middle and swing between the extremes   My Gaelic is nowhere near as fluent as my cousins or Uncles and the Glaswegian patter only truly comes into affect if I'm talking to someone else who uses it.  

Come by the Hills in Gaeligh:

Buachaill ón Éirne mé 's bhréagfainn féin cailín deas óg
Ní iarrfainn bó spré léi tá mé fhéin saibhir go leor
'S liom Corcaigh da mhéid é, dhá thaobh
a' ghleanna 's Tír Eoghain
'S mura n-athraí mé béasaí 's mé n' t-oidhr'
ar Chontae Mhaigh Eoe

This version seems to be Irish? I don't know any Gaeligh but certain things are missing including the word loch in and the phrase "Where the earth meets the sky, and the sky meets the sea {loch}". There's also a reference to Eirne which is Eire?

Anyhoo, this is truly one of my favourite traditional songs.

Come by the hills to the land
     where fancy is free.
And stand where the peaks meet the sky
     and the rocks reach the sea.
Where the rivers run clear and the bracken
     is gold in the sun.
And cares of tomorrow must wait
     till this day is done

Come by the hills to the land
     where legend remains
Where stories of old stir the heart
     and may yet come again.
Where the past has been lost and the future
     is still to be won.
And cares of tomorrow must wait
     till this day is done

I listen to music in Gaelic, Celtic Woman sounds so relaxing!!!!!!!!!!!

My grandparents could speak Gaelic. But never bothered to teach anyone. It is magical.

Finished reading a book by Alan Warner a couple of weeks ago, Morvern Callar. It's the name of the young women that the story revolvs around and she lives in Glasgow. I'm quite sure that its pronounciation is different from the way it's spelled so I'd be a little happier if somebody could enlighten me...

To be honest, it seems a bit like a made-up name.  Morven is a fairly common name, and I suppose Morvern would be pronounced as it is spelled.  The "o" as in "hot" and the "e" as in "pet".

I've never come across the surname, Callar, and it's not in the Glasgow phone book - I've just looked!  I'm not sure whether it should be pronounced like "collar" or whether the first "a" is as in "cat"....

Sorry, not much help, ichtms!

I think the story is set in Oban, rather than Glasgow, but I've not read it myself.  There is a film of the book, so maybe if you could find video-clips of that on-line you'd get the pronounciation.