That would be an ideal to aim for korrigan - an absolute ideal.

But in this forum we are dealing with people who have crap and abuse from the real world - and sometimes they may need to take a moment to vent (as you have done in this thread) you have taken a moment to vent your hurt and angry feelings, and more power to you.

Because of injustices dished out to them in the real world people might developed hardened attitudes  - as a way of helping them to feel better about themselves - or as a way to let go of some pent up anger.
Not to say their attitudes are right - I just explaining hoping to give you perhaps a better understanding of why people might behave in a certain way.
I encourage you to continue to express your open and honest feelings! and strive for the ideal.