He sounds to be plausibly Aspergian.

As for me, I enjoy socializing, as long as I have enough energy and it's not an especially loud or bright environment. I have great concern for other people, but a lot of times don't read their body language that says their in distress, so people think I'm not caring but really I just don't see that theyr'e in distress. Once they tell me, or start crying or something overt like that, then I'll know and express my concern.

Speech can be hard, too, and many things I say I have to figure it out in my head first, which takes a time delay, then I have to mutter it under my breath first. Sometimes, if my mom asks me a question (particularly a how or why or what question), then I take some time to first process what's been said, then to process my response. A lot of times, when people see me taking a while to respond, repeat the question, often with impatient tone. This only makes me take slower, though, because not only is the upset/impatient tone distressing, but it forces me to process yet more speech, which increases the delay, which often in turn makes other people more upset at me. It can be a vicious cycle, so it's important to see if that's happening, because when this happens, and I can't keep up with processing what's been said and what I'm about to say, then I can't say anything, and often respond by shouting or flailing my arms or physically pushing people away from me or self-injuring.

I think it's a good idea to discuss it with him. Once a person starts thinking about being autistic, then they can begin to realize what are the reasons that they've had difficulty in social interactions and such things, and start to develop autistic-friendly strategies (such as making a hand signal to indicate that you're processing someone's words). I think the most important thing is to remind the person that it doesn't mean they're sick or broken if they're on the spectrum. It just means that some things don't come as easily to you, and that you'll have to develop different kinds of strategies for relating to other people.

I find that more often than not, if someone is misinterpreting me to be not listening, or rude or something, I explain, "I'm autistic, so I don't give or interpret body language in the same ways as most people". Especially for eye contact: "Eye contact makes it hard for me to process speech. I can either look at you or listen to you, but not both at the same time."

Interesting... must be rather annoying though.

Bay leaf, I think that you should follow your instinct.  Sometimes. like you said, it would be better to have him identify himself - not put in a box..

I second that it would be better for your brother to identify himself. If I'm reading his personality correctly, he might not believe he has Asperger's or autism unless he finds it out. It's a shame that your brother hasn't gotten diagnosed yet; life probably would have been easier for him. I know it can be frustrating when you know you're "different" from other people, but you don't know how you're different, or what to do about it.

On a side note, about those fights your brother and your mom can get into: if they get really bad again, just call the police. A little talking to from a nice police officer might set them straight for a bit.

Oh My Gosh - I wouldn't suggest involving the authorities - you never know if they are going to act reasonably- a "criminal record" inhibits ones ability to find/keep employment.  If no one is getting physically harmed I mean. it also depends on the ages and size of the persons involved - and whether or not a kid was out of line or not.

I would like to mention that people do not need to have any particular diagnosis to have a complicated or inhealthy family situation - I know alot of us can identify with the original post and the scenarios, the same scenarios play out all over the world (alot here in the US) and have nothing to do with aspergers or the spectrum at all.  The human condition sometims involves messy situations - sometimes outside counsel can help, sometimes professional assistance is the only way- social worker- (I still don't think the cops will stariten anything out)