I wonder why people might sound hateful when they think they are not.  Two possibilities:
1.  They might say the party line but not really agree with it.  I don't like that certain part of Christianity nor did I relish ignoring Julie (from the Rebecca group) after she flirted with me en route to Rachael's wedding.  Julie either didn't believe in Jesus or kept it a hell of a secret (which is not good either).  Recently I figured out I did that for Jesus.  I don't want Him to be a failure in my personal life.  It is a motivation to keep waiting just in case He does, because if I admit defeat, surrender, and end up with some nice other Julie or Martha, it would make me very sad to think He failed me.  It is the difference between A. Jesus really came through for me again and B. Darn it Jesus didn't care, and it is going to leave a terrible taste in my mouth for the rest of my life.
2.  It is like alcoholism. Unconscious.

2.