My name is DeAnna .A 29 year old mother of an 8 year old autistic boy named Brandon. He is my entire world. I am just looking for people to talk to about their children(child) with autisim...someone who understands what I am going through with my son. Will someone please respond to me?

Hello Board,

Just joined after finding this forum after my 13 yr old daughters Diagnosis of 'High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome'.
I'm looking for something, not sure what as I'm still feeling quite bitter and angry about all of this. NOT because my daughter has Asperger's - I've suspected that since she was around four years old. But because for years she was punished at school for things she couldn't understand and didn't know how to respond to others. She is incredibly intelligent ( her testing results were 'off the scale') and therefore was labelled as Lazy at school as she refused to do mundane things like homework, however, once she had read or learned something, she genuinely had and could see no reason for doing it again - causing tremendous conflict with teachers.
I was accused of being a bad parent, with no sense of discipline due to her bizarre behaviour in class, I was accused of being a neglectfull parent who had produced an attention seeking child.

I spend every waking moment with my children (I have two others without any ASD's), I have always had to work from home as I could never hold down a job due to my daughter's problems and the fact that her school (almost daily) would suspend her for something. I was refused help at every turn and had to fight tooth and nail for her to be assessed and finally recognised as having genuine difficulties. Untimately making a 'parent referral' to Psychological services.
Like I said she is now 13 and only recently gotten a placement at a school where she is nurtured and valued, her clinical diagnosis came 4 weeks ago. That was quite a surreal experience!
I was told 'yes, as you expected she has Aspergers Syndrome/High Functioning Austism' - I was given a folder full of literature that told me nothing I didn't already know or hadn't already experienced with her and sent home.
I know nothing will change and I do not ever want to change her in any way. She is incredibly bright, a talented artist, a vocabulary I would kill for and very much her own person with her own sense of self worth.
But my greatest concern is that she is struggling with the diagnosis (I think), she seems to have slipped into a depression, become even more withdrawn and has begun to develop real eating issues - she just isn't eating. She always had unusual eating habits, for example, she likes simple home cooked food, but if we had meat, potatoes and veg, nothing on the plate could be touching anything else and certainly no sauces or gravies!

I feel I've let her down in some way - I pushed for this assessment, hoping she would be treated with greater tolerance as a result and she would be able to get support in school. It seems to have backfired as now instead of considering herself to be 'just lucky' as she though because everything academic came so easily to her, she feels different. She has no friends and indeed seems to have no desire at all to seek out other young people and I can't quite reach her just now.

Is this a common thing post diagnosis?
I'm sorry about this lengthy post, I had a lot to spill out.

hi i am a mother of an autistic son who is 8 years old i am finding it very hard to cope with him at the moment as my husband has just left is there any one out there that can give some advice how to deal with it all before i go mad thanks

My name is DeAnna .A 29 year old mother of an 8 year old autistic boy named Brandon. He is my entire world. I am just looking for people to talk to about their children(child) with autisim...someone who understands what I am going through with my son. Will someone please respond to me?

hi i am a mother of an 8 year old autistic boy called charlie and it is very hard charlie is a borderline autistic so some days are worse than others. and too top it all my husband has left as well so it would be good to talk to some one else in the same boat you are not alone out there but it can feel like it believe i know

Hi DeAnna & maz1.

I'm so sorry that no-one has been looking at this thread for a while and that you have had to wait for a response, especially as the response isn't from someone in your own child's age-group!

I'm not in the same boat as you, but I hope that won't mean that I cannot at least reassure you that the (AS) world has not abandoned you.

I am so sorry that your husband has left, maz. That is rotten.

I have been through the mill with all my five kids, NT and AS, but I can assure you that AS kids DO eventually 'catch up' (I did! ). I have three offspring in their twenties and fourteen-year-old twins. My eldest is now a concert pianist with letters after his name, my second runs his own WingTsun school - the fastest growing in Europe - and my daughter is about to complete a degree. Not one of them took a conventional path through the educational system. Two are parents with lovely sons.

My fourteen-year-old Aspie has just got his school national test scores - he is off the top of the scale. I'm wondering how I'm now supposed to persuade him that it might be a good idea for him to attend more than 40% of his classes when he reckons he doesn't need to.

The thing is, that we can lose sight of the best of our kids if we try to make them conform with modern society's very narrow view of what constitutes 'normal'. I and my Aspie ancestors were lucky enough to grow up in a culture where good old-fashioned English eccentricity was valued, not labelled as a disability!

I know that's not much help as you must raise your boys now, not in the past, but I have found that an attitude of 'us against the world' helped me when the going got really tough with my older kids because the alternative was to side with the people making life tough for my kids, and that just made it worse.

I regard my job as a parent is to act as an intermediary, or translator (such as those employed by the UN!). I don't have to be NT to help my kids to understand what the NT world is about, just to be able to translate what I have learnt about it to help them to cope a bit better.

And if I am able to help the NT world to see my kids as people first and foremost, not as problems, so much the better.

Sorry, rambling a bit (grannie's prerogative? ) please forgive me. Cyber hugs for people having it tough - I can only say again that IT DOES GET BETTER, it's just horrible that we have to go through the bad bits first.

My name is DeAnna .A 29 year old mother of an 8 year old autistic boy named Brandon. He is my entire world. I am just looking for people to talk to about their children(child) with autisim...someone who understands what I am going through with my son. Will someone please respond to me?

Hi DeAnna,
I'm the mother of an 11 yr old Autistic boy also named Brandon.He is my youngest child. I also have a 14 yr old NT son.I can try to understand anything you're going through and if I can, give you any support you need. I'm a great listener so if you need me just give me a message.

tryingtohelpthentparents.ning.com/

Yeah; I'm trying to be helpful. I probably need the help myself. he he.

Well, if I know I can help you, and the other variables aren't too risky (such as lack of personal knowledge), I will do the best that the circumstances and other variables allow for. I can also listen; feel free to message myself, as well. Um, my obsession was human mental patterns, so, even though my Interpersonal was A. never utterly and completely mastered, and B., has heretofore to a large degree crashed, my Intrapersonal intelligence is still up and zipping, so I can still, perhaps, offer some insight, on minds closely enough connected to mine.....?

I can't quite read your son's mind yet, but if I learn a good deal about him, I might be able to interpret behaviour? He sounds like a complex character; one I should like to know. (NO insults intended; this is an approximation of MY skill only; not yours. SORRY if it was taken as an insult; I'm just trying to see if I can figure you out (and your son to a degree. I would not be able to figure out a person fully solely by word of mouth.).)

I don't see why you guys have a problem with Wondergirl100's language. Isn't it somewhat common for aspies and autistics to use excessively professional language at times?
Yeah, it sounds like she's writing a book. So? For me, that's the most intuitive way to act. I've only just gotten the hang of sounding truly casual in the last few years.

since this thread originated in 2005 I doubt she is worried about that

Another helpful childfree person, pushed away by the army of parents.

since this was bumped INSTEAD of making a new thread...

FOUND THIS on a  site from a link (about bullying) on another thread.

http://media.smh.com.au/technology/tech-...23039.html

Robot helps autistic kids.

We are something MORE qualified than a parent to help them with an autistic child. We are autistic, and we have been autistic children. It's dehumanizing to say our parents know us better than we know ourselves. It's also dehumanizing to have someone claim they know you better than you know yourself because they read a bunch of books about this disorder you're supposed to have... or any kind of book at all.

Did I enter the conversation too late?

This post was last modified: 05-21-2012 02:11 AM by Ana54.

hello, my name is mandy. I am a single mom with a son on the spectrum. My son Dante is 5 we live in Massachusetts. In 2010 my son was diagnosed with PDD. He had 2 yrs of preschool and started kindergarten in the fall. He went to two school in 2 years and just started  a new school. It has been very rough but we survive, we moved to a new apt in Jan and he took it rough. In JUne when school finished he had and still having troubles transitioning. he has gotten worse since June and since re diagnosed him with classic autism. He is on meds, since he has a lot of aggression issues. He was only getting speech and pt, last yr they dropped his ot. But I scheduled an iep meeting n they are gonna re do all of his evals since he only has his speech n ot at school which iis full day and there are 31 kids in his class. I have been in this battle since my sons birth with some issues now I'm reaching out. Thanks

31 kids?!  Is it an autism class, or is he mainstreamed?  Large classrooms are very overstimulating for spectrum kids.  They'll either melt down or zone out.  Older kids might be able to handle that, but not a kindergartener.  I hope they at least have an aid or two in the class.  

You can always get an OT consult and have them show you how to help him.  There are certain sensory integration techniques that a parent can implement.  You usually have to pay out of pocket for OT, though.  Some insurances will reimburse you, but few practices take insurance upfront.

My name is DeAnna .A 29 year old mother of an 8 year old autistic boy named Brandon. He is my entire world. I am just looking for people to talk to about their children(child) with autisim...someone who understands what I am going through with my son. Will someone please respond to me?

I though the DeAnnas were boxed?  Well, I guess that explains why we haven't heard from her again.