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Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...
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7oclock



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Post: #16
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

Batman55 Wrote:

7oclock Wrote:
As we are discovering in social gatherings from playgrounds to hook up bars to church singles get togethers, most NT's, when left on their own, simply don't have patience to enter into a relationship with someone on the spectrum. They prefer their own fast paced constant talking game playing to our slow, intense, obsessive authenticity.


I like the theory put forth, but here's a correction for you:

Aspies aren't slow, and never have been.


Have to disagree with you here, Aspies are not as quick at interpersonal social interaction processing as NT's. Aspie response time is generally slower and more intentional...

Perhaps you read a different definition of the word, 'slow'?


I'm right at least twice a day
08-12-2007 02:07 PM
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Shrek



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Post: #17
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

So it seems the $15 per session copay was really worth it, what my LCSW told me about internal processing of social interaction responses.

Such a shame we switched insurance and I couldn't get her for $15 a session any more.  It is kind of hard getting another.  Maybe mental health professionals hate playing hardball with the insurance companies.

Add the processing speed issue to our inability to read nonverbal cues of romantic interest without deliberate conscious mental effort.  And even then, what signals would we send back?  And how convincingly?

It reminds me of Shepherd College (today Shepherd University) Job Placement Services mock interviewing me to death before I got in the Census Bureau job in 1998.

And also, the mock interviews we had on one another at Maryland Rehab Center before graduation.  My classmate (the other super computer programmer in the group beside me) mock interviewed me and shot me down in under 30 seconds.  He said he had actually done interviewing in the real world, and I had done something wrong.

But I more than impressed the folks at DTI Associates in July 1999.  And I am still there.


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08-12-2007 08:31 PM
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Batman55



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Post: #18
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

7oclock Wrote:

Batman55 Wrote:

7oclock Wrote:
As we are discovering in social gatherings from playgrounds to hook up bars to church singles get togethers, most NT's, when left on their own, simply don't have patience to enter into a relationship with someone on the spectrum. They prefer their own fast paced constant talking game playing to our slow, intense, obsessive authenticity.


I like the theory put forth, but here's a correction for you:

Aspies aren't slow, and never have been.


Have to disagree with you here, Aspies are not as quick at interpersonal social interaction processing as NT's. Aspie response time is generally slower and more intentional...

Perhaps you read a different definition of the word, 'slow'?


Interpersonal social interaction processing, slower, yes I'll agree.

In other cognitive tasks, however, a lot of us go at a superior rate of speed.

08-13-2007 09:00 AM
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7oclock



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Post: #19
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

Batman55 Wrote:
Interpersonal social interaction processing, slower, yes I'll agree.

In other cognitive tasks, however, a lot of us go at a superior rate of speed.


Agreed. Big Grin


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08-13-2007 02:21 PM
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vits3k



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Post: #20
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

The notion of Aspies marrying Aspies raises the issue of Aspie sub-communities.

In cultures that practice caste divisions, Dhimmi status for specific groups etc, this suggests the possibility of differing treatment in a legal and economic sense for those Aspie sub-groups.

Enslavement of Aspies, anyone?  I think it's already happened many times in the past.

In many cultures, those with classic "Aspie" type interests and skills, i.e., engineering, invention, detailed clerical and financial work etc. have both had their skills exploited and been kicked around by the larger cultures in which they lived.

The "NT" dominant culture around them have been happy to benefit from the skills and knowledge of their "Aspie" types, while at the same time abusing and harassing, even robbing and murdering them at will.  

Sometimes, the (arguably) "Aspie" cultural types have fled such a place altogether,with the result that that place may then becomes rather more impoverished and backward than it was.  The bullies have caught onto that, and in some cases took measures to prevent them leaving.  The USSR abusing its Jews while impeding their emigration is one example.  European princes hobbling or blinding highly skilled artisans to prevent them leaving, or duplicating past works for others, is another.

To me, this is pretty much the same situation as schools where the "smart kids" are frequently beaten up and harassed, and get their lunch money stolen, yet are forced to help those same bullies with their math homework.

I prefer a way of life where such bullying is not tolerated, and the oppressed (whoever they are) are empowered to speak openly about being oppressed, can walk away from bullies, and are not obligated to hand over their time, energy and wealth to them.

Fair treatment of Aspies by NTs, I say!

08-14-2007 06:57 PM
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Shrek



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Post: #21
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

vits3k, do you have knowledge of stats on occupational exploitation and abuse of Aspergians, or it is anecdotal evidence?
Where is this happening?  USA or elsewhere?  In some sectors more than others?

I don't see any today.  I am more familiar with Aspergerian rejection than with exploitation, but I did experience abuse once in my worling life maybe nearly ten years ago.


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08-14-2007 09:03 PM
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vits3k



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Post: #22
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

Cultures with strong traditions of engineering, mathematics, technology, finance etc. are, IMO, cultures that have successfully harnessed the talents of their Aspie-type members.  Those are areas where Aspies traditionally excel.

I've given one recent historical example of oppression of a culture that is strong in these tendencies.  Ethnic Chinese in non-Chinese Asian countries have had some similar experiences.

And I'm sure we're all familiar with the notion of smart kids being beaten up for their lunch money while being forced to help the bullies.  Surely it's not much of a leap to make the connection with larger cultural trends, past and present, in various parts of the world?

And as far as Aspies being "oppressed" by NTs in the workplace... well, surely this and similar boards contain hundreds of examples of what is felt to be such mistreatment?

08-15-2007 05:58 AM
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Shrek



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Post: #23
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

Is there published data?  Anecdotal reports are fine for us armchair social scientists but the professionals need statistics.


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08-15-2007 06:56 AM
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Batman55



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Post: #24
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

vits3k Wrote:
Cultures with strong traditions of engineering, mathematics, technology, finance etc. are, IMO, cultures that have successfully harnessed the talents of their Aspie-type members.  Those are areas where Aspies traditionally excel.


And what about the Aspies who don't excel in the areas you listed?

I, for one, don't excel in any of the areas listed, or anywhere near it.

08-15-2007 07:57 AM
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vits3k



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Post: #25
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

GuessWho Wrote:
Is there published data?  Anecdotal reports are fine for us armchair social scientists but the professionals need statistics.

Ummm.... are you asking me to produce documentation of, for instance, pogroms against the Jews in Europe and the Middle East?

Or Stalin's (and others') purges of engineers, scientists and artists (to the arguable detriment of his country) ?

I'm sure that's not what you meant to say, but the thought crossed my mind...

08-18-2007 05:45 AM
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Batman55



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Post: #26
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

I also asked a question, vits3k, and was hoping you would answer it.

08-18-2007 08:41 AM
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vits3k



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Post: #27
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

Batman55 Wrote:
I also asked a question, vits3k, and was hoping you would answer it.

Not every Aspie has the same talents/obsessions.  But if you believe Drs. Asperger and Baron-Cohen, that's the tendency.

08-18-2007 08:50 AM
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Batman55



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Post: #28
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

vits3k Wrote:

Batman55 Wrote:
I also asked a question, vits3k, and was hoping you would answer it.

Not every Aspie has the same talents/obsessions.  But if you believe Drs. Asperger and Baron-Cohen, that's the tendency.


A tendency is not the same as a concrete fact.

08-18-2007 10:11 AM
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Shrek



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Post: #29
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

GuessWho Wrote:
Is there published data?  Anecdotal reports are fine for us armchair social scientists but the professionals need statistics.


I mean on workplace discrimination against aspergians.


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08-19-2007 02:36 AM
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tenaciouscj



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Post: #30
RE: Theory: Marriage for love explains why there are more Asipes/Auties...

It's often hard to prove because the bosses are cunning.


It's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.
09-12-2007 11:28 AM
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