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Chatroom log - coping with NTs
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Amy
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Chatroom log - coping with NTs

This is a log from the AFF chatroom with an NT who came to talk about his feelings and views-

<Rakoczy> hello!
<Rakoczy> anyway, i started to read a bit of this site, and found it very interesting that there would be any resistance to a cure or prevention
<Rakoczy> Especially when Pre-natal testing was addressed in one of the fliers
<Rakoczy> I have previously discussed that with myself, and one of my biggest fears is that my child would turn out to be Autistic, anywhere on the spectrum
<Rakoczy> Because i have had to deal with my brother for a lifetime, and watch as my parents hopelessly try to correct his more outlandish behaviors
<Rakoczy> I don't see why anyone would voluntarily sire an autistic child, as I am definitely going to use pre-natal testing to determine how healthy it is
<Rakoczy> And if it is autistic, well, i hope abortion is still legal.
<Gareth> define "outlandish behaviours"
<Rakoczy> wow, that would take a while, but i can skim the surface for you
<Gareth> "one of my biggest fears is that my child would turn out to be Autistic, anywhere on the spectrum" < so you think that everyone should be the same?
<Rakoczy> What?
<Gareth> why is that your biggest fear?
<Rakoczy> No, not that everyone should be the same in the slightest. Autism is very difficult to deal with as a neurotypical, especially in such close proximity.
<Gareth> are you looking at one individual and judging all autistics?
<Rakoczy> I'm choosing not to deal with it, because i definitely wouldn't want my child as an autistic to suffer all of his life
<Rakoczy> It's the same condition
<Gareth> and autism automatically makes people suffer their whole life?
<Rakoczy> not automatically, but the majority of the time, yes
<Gareth> prove it
<Rakoczy> it is much more difficult to live with it than it is to not.
<Gareth> and prove that it's autism itself that causes suffering
<Rakoczy> Prove it?
<Gareth> yes
<Rakoczy> ha
<Gareth> most aspies i've met suffer only from things such as childhood bullying
<Rakoczy> how easy it is to sit back and type 'prove it' in childish defiance when one confronts a viewpoint that differs from their own.
<Rakoczy> extensive childhood bullying brought on by the difference in behavior
<Gareth> you are the one claiming that autism causes suffering in itself - the burden of proof lies with you
<Gareth> i am saying that autism itself is not what causes the suffering
<Rakoczy> nay, that is an opinion, not something to be proved at this time.
<Gareth> childhood bullying brought on by the difference in behaviour - does not mean that the behaviour is wrong
<Gareth> should we blame racism on black people?
<Rakoczy> it does not mean that the behavior is wrong, yes, but it means that it is a cause of the suffering.
<Gareth> an indirect cause
<Rakoczy> It's not about blame.
<Gareth> therefore - doesn't it make more sense to educate people about autism rather then just wipe it out?
<Gareth> a lot of autistic traits can be a very big advantage to people
<Rakoczy> And a lot of autistic traits can be a huge disadvantage to them, as i have witnessed, personally, over 16 years.
<Gareth> some neurotypical traits can be a huge disadvantage too
<Gareth> everyone has both advantages and disadvantages
<Gareth> but people far too often focus on the disadvantages
<Rakoczy> It is not as if people will start jihad over this, and start shooting autistics everywhere, but it is the rights of the parents to terminate a child that has autism if it is in the womb.
<Rakoczy> Neurotypical traits as a disadvantage? Please name these..
<Gareth> http://isnt.autistics.org < this is mainly humour/parody, but there are a large number of things that are scarily true

12-28-2004 02:46 AM
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Blackjack Gabbiani



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He doesn't seem like he came to talk about his feelings or views, it seems like he came to troll.


...and you can't make me!
12-28-2004 03:12 AM
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TheASman



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Re: Chatroom log - coping with NTs

Amy Wrote:
<Rakoczy> Especially when Pre-natal testing was addressed in one of the fliers


hmmm fliers eh?

was this person from NY?

12-28-2004 03:17 AM
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Amy
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I dont know, maybe he read the site and was talking about the leaflets in the CAN section.

12-28-2004 03:24 AM
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Dreamer



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Beware the NT


When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
- John Lennon
12-28-2004 11:52 AM
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Ando



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Re: Chatroom log - coping with NTs

Amy Wrote:
This is a log from the AFF chatroom with an NT who came to talk about his feelings and views-

<Rakoczy> hello!
<Rakoczy> anyway, i started to read a bit of this site, and found it very interesting that there would be any resistance to a cure or prevention
<Rakoczy> Especially when Pre-natal testing was addressed in one of the fliers
<Rakoczy> I have previously discussed that with myself, and one of my biggest fears is that my child would turn out to be Autistic, anywhere on the spectrum
<Rakoczy> Because i have had to deal with my brother for a lifetime, and watch as my parents hopelessly try to correct his more outlandish behaviors
<Rakoczy> I don't see why anyone would voluntarily sire an autistic child, as I am definitely going to use pre-natal testing to determine how healthy it is
<Rakoczy> And if it is autistic, well, i hope abortion is still legal.
<Gareth> define "outlandish behaviours"
<Rakoczy> wow, that would take a while, but i can skim the surface for you
<Gareth> "one of my biggest fears is that my child would turn out to be Autistic, anywhere on the spectrum" < so you think that everyone should be the same?
<Rakoczy> What?
<Gareth> why is that your biggest fear?
<Rakoczy> No, not that everyone should be the same in the slightest. Autism is very difficult to deal with as a neurotypical, especially in such close proximity.
<Gareth> are you looking at one individual and judging all autistics?
<Rakoczy> I'm choosing not to deal with it, because i definitely wouldn't want my child as an autistic to suffer all of his life
<Rakoczy> It's the same condition
<Gareth> and autism automatically makes people suffer their whole life?
<Rakoczy> not automatically, but the majority of the time, yes
<Gareth> prove it
<Rakoczy> it is much more difficult to live with it than it is to not.
<Gareth> and prove that it's autism itself that causes suffering
<Rakoczy> Prove it?
<Gareth> yes
<Rakoczy> ha
<Gareth> most aspies i've met suffer only from things such as childhood bullying
<Rakoczy> how easy it is to sit back and type 'prove it' in childish defiance when one confronts a viewpoint that differs from their own.
<Rakoczy> extensive childhood bullying brought on by the difference in behavior
<Gareth> you are the one claiming that autism causes suffering in itself - the burden of proof lies with you
<Gareth> i am saying that autism itself is not what causes the suffering
<Rakoczy> nay, that is an opinion, not something to be proved at this time.
<Gareth> childhood bullying brought on by the difference in behaviour - does not mean that the behaviour is wrong
<Gareth> should we blame racism on black people?
<Rakoczy> it does not mean that the behavior is wrong, yes, but it means that it is a cause of the suffering.
<Gareth> an indirect cause
<Rakoczy> It's not about blame.
<Gareth> therefore - doesn't it make more sense to educate people about autism rather then just wipe it out?
<Gareth> a lot of autistic traits can be a very big advantage to people
<Rakoczy> And a lot of autistic traits can be a huge disadvantage to them, as i have witnessed, personally, over 16 years.
<Gareth> some neurotypical traits can be a huge disadvantage too
<Gareth> everyone has both advantages and disadvantages
<Gareth> but people far too often focus on the disadvantages
<Rakoczy> It is not as if people will start jihad over this, and start shooting autistics everywhere, but it is the rights of the parents to terminate a child that has autism if it is in the womb.
<Rakoczy> Neurotypical traits as a disadvantage? Please name these..
<Gareth> http://isnt.autistics.org < this is mainly humour/parody, but there are a large number of things that are scarily true


That was my NT brother. He can be very opinionated.

It's hard being an autistic in a non-autistic family.

12-28-2004 04:46 PM
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Amy
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He did introduce himself as your brother, but I didnt post that as I felt it was up to you if you wanted to post about that or not.
I did end up thinking that I wouldnt want to live with him myself.

12-28-2004 08:05 PM
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Gareth
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Dr Ando - I hope you can make it very clear to your family that you do not want or need to be "cured"




“Lanie, I’m going to print more printers. Lots more printers. One for everyone. That’s worth going to jail for. That’s worth anything.” - Printcrime by Cory Doctrow
12-28-2004 08:18 PM
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Wolfy
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Greetings,

Seems like a very opinionated individual unwilling to consider the views of others - on the surface anyway.

It seems to be a general failing in most people regardless of their disposition - but aren't we supposed to be worse for that?  (thats what they say anyway)


Windows NT?  Enough said...
12-28-2004 09:16 PM
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Uschi



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Dr. Ando, I am sorry your brother would think of you (and us) in that way. It must make being with him hard.

My family (including my husband) thinks I am defective, too. Fortunately, they as Christians would never consider aborting any child, no matter what their genes (or defects, if actually handicapped) might be.

Your brother appears to have made up his mind that he would force the mother of his child to have an abortion, if the baby might be autistic. I hope that is never going to happen, and that any future wife of his would realize what he has in mind before marrying him (I hope he won't find anybody until he sees how wrong he is).


German citizen, married for 26 years to a very NT Canadian
Five NT children, four grandchildren (too young to know if NT or AS).
Diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome Nov. 2004 and Asperger Syndrome Dec. 2004
12-28-2004 10:08 PM
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bouyantlamok



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I'm so sorry that the nt's in you guyses lives think your "defective", (what an ugly word).  Not all nt's are like that.  I have at least 5 really close nt friends who find me weird and different, have wondered with me if my brain is not connected differently, but have never made me feal "wrong" for being who I am, although even they have not seen all of me without my shell I have created for myself to survive.  They really are wonderfull people.

12-29-2004 01:16 AM
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Ando



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Yeah, I have a lot of NT friends too.

12-29-2004 01:39 AM
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I thought Gareth did so well! A credit to us all!  Smile

Stella

12-29-2004 02:46 AM
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Uschi



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I also have a few NT friends, who accept me just like I am, and have told me many times I am a wonderful person. It's my family that is the problem. I mean my husband and children, not my brothers and sister in Germany. Since most of them are Aspies, too, they are just as odd as I am! And the NTs (three of the six brothers) are so used to be outnumbered by Aspies, that to them we are normal.

My mother never accepted me or the other Aspies for who we are. But my father was Aspie, too, and was treated like garbage by my mother. It was a hard life for all of us. My mother died in 1986 and my father in 1997. My youngest brother (who is an NT) and his wife looked after him the last 11 years of his life (he was just as incapable of managing on his own as I am). And I think he actually enjoyed those last 11 years. He would surf the net, play on his computer, do his puzzles, build electrical things and listen to his music (he loved opera). I am glad he had those years by himself, it was terrible to watch how my mother treated him.

The brother who is the most understanding of me is an NT, strangely. He is a teacher at a neurological rehab centre and works with kids ages three to six who were brain damaged in accidents. He is very patient and loving. I loved staying with him and his wife and kids for a week last year, when I went to Germany for Christmas.

I wished more NTs were like him!


German citizen, married for 26 years to a very NT Canadian
Five NT children, four grandchildren (too young to know if NT or AS).
Diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome Nov. 2004 and Asperger Syndrome Dec. 2004
12-29-2004 03:22 AM
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Mich



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Dreamer Wrote:
Beware the NT


By "NT", we mean "neurotypical", not "Norton Troll". :lol:

:!: Mich :?:

12-29-2004 08:05 PM
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