Hello, I am 30 ( male ) and recently diagnosed with Asperger's. It was as a result of sickness at work, only a couple of days, but longer term I'd had years of going to the Doctor with Stomach pain and Headaches.

My GP gave me a book to read a few week ago and I researched alot and everything fell into place. My job is customer facing and shift work and it tires me out and it feels 'painful' leaving me no energy or time for my interests. I have no friends and live with my parents.

i've been seeing a councillor recently who seems to understand this syndrome.

My reaction to it is partly happy because at last I can understand why I am different to almost everyone else. But more deverstation because of the hell I've in over the last 25 years, but mainly the last 13 of my adult life.

I'll elaborate more if anyone replies, I hope you do ( PM's welcome ). I just need to know how other people feel about this syndrome and what effect it's diagnosis had on their lives.

Michael.

I feel good about AS. It explains alot about myself. I was self-diagnosed first and I spent alot of time focused on reserching about it, so getting an official diagnosis was abit of a relief as it means the effort wasn't wasted. As for how it will affect me in the future, I have no idea, beyond school I don't have much life experience.
I really enjoy the positives of AS and I am not too bothered about its negatives, it just seems to me that other people are.

Please elaborate further.

Last year on Aven (asexuality visibility and educational network) I learned about asexuality and went from being a 'frigid, tease' to someone who does not experience sexual attraction.

On Aven I learned that Asperger's included a wider spectrum of people than I first thought and after much discussion with Aspies I feel like I'm going from 'insecure, selfish, aloof, immature, crazy person' to someone with a high sensitivity to sensory input and slow regulartory of what to do with it.

It's freed me up to be who I am without thinking I'm a bad or broken person.

I still don't experience sexual attraction and I still get super sensitive and take a while to process things, but I am more sexual with my husband and more social at my church and with my friends than I have ever been in my entire life - because now that I UNDERSTAND WHY I'm different I can work with it.

Also, I understand why 'they' act so strange.  

I would like to hear more about your situation, if you want to share.

Hi,

I know this post is about Michael 1's thread, however, I can relate to what 7:00Oclock said about sexuality.  

I thought I was sexually broken as well and was diagnosed with AS!  I feel as though I don't experience sexual attraction either and found out about AVEN as well.

That was AFTER I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I feel the same way as you do in that I feel more free to know why I was different.

However, the thing that still leaves me feeling very insecure is dating.  Most of the times I am not interested and I also feel that no guy will be interested in me once he finds out that I have never had sex with anyone.

I am not comfortable with touch or any physical intimace.  I don't understand how NT do all that stuff.  Hugging, kissing, touching, just feel so foreign to me.

It kind of makes me still feel bad about myself, however, like my psyhcologist told me a lot of people with AS experience Asexuality.  

But I still feel the world doesn't understand


Anyhow, Michael 1 welcome and I hope you learn a lot from AFF!!

After too many years of alcoholism, I went to a drug and alcohol clinic for about four years. Although I learned a lot, I still felt, as did the counselor, that there was something we were close to but not reaching. All of the answers I got, did nothing but raise more questions without answers.
At that time (1977-1981), nobody knew anything about AS.

When I did find out about AS, close to five years ago, I was initially very depressed for about a week......maybe even longer.  When I began to accept that I am an Aspie, the depression changed to such a profound relief.
I had known since I was a small child that I was qualitatively very different from everybody else I knew, but had no clue as to what the problem was. It was such a great healing for me to find out what the problem was.
It was such a relief to me to have my whole wacko life suddenly make sense to me.
All of those unanswered questions were suddenly answered.

I hope this helps.

When I tell people things like I have no friends and I don't like being touched or that I don't find people attractive I always get a response that implies there is something terribly awful about my existance. But because it has always been like this for me, what for me is terrible is trying to fit in with how everyone else appears to live. I've never been sociable because I'm not really interested in other people- that sound nasty doesn't it- but generally I think people are different to me because they need to belong and be loved, whereas I just prefer being on my own and find other people annoying and hard work. I don't mind being liked but I don't need it.

I find social interaction very hard and my work personality is all a performance, I've learnt a series of scripts to behave by, I don't enjoy small talk with customers or demanding people, I could never be a salesman or in marketing or similar, because people's wants and desires don't concern me. This isn't being nasty as I will help people out if they need it, but they need to work for it, then I know they are for real, not just lazy. It's important to me to have a job, otherwise I'd get bored and be poor. I just have the wrong one and not the easiest personality with which to get another.

My choice with Asperges is going to be to accept it and try to live more like it and stop trying to fight against it. Not to use it as a label or excuse, but to try to become my own best friend and enjoy being different because it is not all bad. My work are giving me more councelling, not really sure about how much it helps, and I will return to my GP in a few weeks and maybe she can advice me more.

As it's been mentioned I have little to say on sexuality because I really don't have any experience of it. Its not that I would be unable to do it, its just that the idea getting that close to someone is a way too much for me.

So I am feeling quite positive about being Aspergic and I can't change the past- and most of that wasn't good anyway.

Michael.

I finally have one good friend who understands my autistic side!  And like you I don't find people attractive!  You know maybe it's better if you don't tell people about how you feel!  I know that being aspies we are truly honest, but most people can be CRUEL and it's non of their business to know how you feel. Only you can accept yourself!!!

It doesn't sound nasty!!! You are who you are and again don't worry about trying to be like others.  I do like people and I can socialize from time to time...But most of the times I am INTROVERTED and unless there is a cool topic in which I am interested in I usually don't say much either.  

Maybe you should try Vocational Rehab that is if you live in the U.S.  They might help you find a better job that is suited for you.  I am thinking about going back myself!!!

Wow, awesome!!! I guess that is the keep to peace is accepting yourself! That is what my pshcyologist told me acceptance is the key to happiness and that is great that your work is giving you councelling.  Stick with it for a while as it might be beneficial!!!

In the meantime AFF is a great forum to learn about your aspieness and as you can see you are not alone there are tons of aspies who can relate to you

Good luck, Kalo!

Just wanted to say how much I got from reading this thread. I am a parent of a child who is different. He's only nine but he asks why he feels this or that and knows he is not the same as his peer group.  He has already been diagnosed with OCD but the consultant is reassessing him for ASD.  As a parent I went through the tears "Not something else for him to deal with".  Am I chasing "labels" that wont change who he is or help him were my initial thoughts.

These posts have confirmed what I already knew as gut or mother's instinct.  That I have to know if he has ASD, so he can understand himself better, to clear up the confusion he has about himself and to help other people to understand him better.  They also make me think the sooner we know the better we will be able to cope. The consultant has said he is on the Austistic Spectrum but cannot confirm yet where. Watch this space, if it's not Aspergers I'll eat a dozen hats. gg.

I feel like myself. Being Aspergian is nothing like being a cancer patient. It's being a type of person.

Due to my natural Aspergian eccentricity, I have been socially shunned, but since every other person was an **** no matter what I did anyway I didn't bother trying to fit in.

I am also stuck with a useless IEP which I plan on removing.

I also have little to no idea how to make "the first move" when starting a relationship. These things seem to come naturally to Neurotypical people, but I have to learn them intellectually. I'm not gifted with people.

Hi Cheekychic1111, while I feel for what you are going through I don't think you are chasing "labels"!  That is what others say when they don't have differences in life.

It is IMPORTANT to know what is going on with your son!

I wish I would of know what was wrong with me at a YOUNGER age.  I feel when children get diagnosed at a young age it does make life a little easier.  

I have learning disabilities along with my AS and I didn't find out about all of those things until way into my adult life.

Having autism isn't the end of the world, however, what sucks is when one goes through life being misunderstood by family, friends and society.

Before my diagnosis the labels that school and society put on me was lazy, not concentrating, not trying hard enough, arrogant, shy, wierd, freak, etc. all of which I wasn't!

So the label you are seeking is the truth and believe me it will help your son to better understand himself and stick up for himself as well!

Good luck, Kalo!

I agree. People who talk about "labels" often don't understand that it is important for us to assign meaning and one way of doing that is to put a name to things.

It would have been so much better had I known about having Aspergers at a younger age; preferably before I had to leave home.

I think I will get more help from my councelling and from my Doctor ( who I am seeing next week ). I think it is all a bit too much for my Managers who still won't change my work pattern's or duties despite clearly being aware that they are causing me problems. I haven't told my parents because I think they already 'know' I'm different.

I've got a work 'do' I've said I'll go to tomorrow and I really don't want to. It is really hard to be a loner when so many people want you around. I think , in gereral, people with Aspergers are interesting and people want us around even when we don't want to be because different is interesting.

I dont feel like Im chasing labels anymore but it was an early thought.  Without a diagnosis I cant get him the help he needs and understanding he has Aspergers means life is so much easier as I understand him so much better.

I can relate to everything you say and feel in some ways that I have to translate the world for him right now to protect him from people misunderstanding him.  Chats with his teacher changed their opinion of him from a disruptive child to a child who was struggling but trying his best and it was them who first mooted the idea he may have ASD.   He is now far far happier. I just need to educate his father next!!!  No easy task.

i use to  not like being an aspie but as time whent on i became quite happy with being an aspie and even be came proud of that fact.so i am happy being an aspie one reason is because it means i dont have to be counted as one of those highly unreasonably physical and social NTs lol. so thats my standing on being an aspie

i  lol. so thats my standing on being an aspie

Good for you.  I think I posted somewhere that my son bounced in the bedroom asking for a birthday cake because it was 12 months since his OCD first manifested. It was a huge problem at first until we learned how to manage it, now, he like you, is really proud of having it.

He said to his consultant that he didnt want to be cured 100 percent of OCD just to get rid of most of it as he enjoyed being special, so please leave him a little bit. gggg