I have some problems on non aspie forums.  It seems that I am not welcome.

When I make comments or ask questions - the replies are as if I am stupid and have no right to be there.  Such as "why would anyone care about this?".  They are always fighting about everything.  

I wish there were more forums like this.  I get treated here better than anywhere in my life.  I wish I could live in aspieland.

That sounds like the bullies that I used to deal with in middle school.  Do they know that you're an Aspie and act nasty because of that, or do they just not like what you have to say?

They don't know I am aspie.  I would not tell people anyway.

They criticize in a way that seems subtle.  If they came right out and said "you are stupid" they would probably get banned.  

If I ask some questions, they do not answer the question.  They criticize why anyone would ask a question like that.  

Maybe not everyone is so bad.  There are some helpful people there and I try to be helpful.

That sounds like it could be just annoying people on the Internet.  You can tend to get people like that sometimes.  Just ignore them; it's them, not you.  If everyone on the forum is like that, then maybe try finding a different forum.

Yes. I was on a quiz site forum, and I was ostracized if I wasn't 'random' or didn't like crappy music, or didn't like this anime. I came back 3 times as 3 different people. Once, I pretended to be my twin. I left because I realized this was lying.

Wow, that so sounds like the bullies I used to deal with in middle school.  Try to find a different forum where people are nicer.

I can honestly say the worst treatment I ever recieved from any forum was probably that which I recieved here, in times gone past. Of course I got some pretty brutal attention in some flame forums and troll foirums but there is an expectation of such and a standard of behaviour and no hypocrisy of treatment and accountabbility.

Not that it matters now naturally. Water under the bridge and no hurt feelings, just being honest.

Cone to think of it, the honesty thing was a problem here too. (in times gone past...water under the bridge and all friends now).

Just thought it addressed the thread somewhat.
On a lighter note. I have been the member really of five other non-aspie forums. I became a supermod on two and an admin on two.

Just recently, I was sticking up for my partner on a FB Aspies' Forum and got attacked by 4 people, plus an opportunist who seemed to be doing as much as possible to be as annoying as possible. I ended up blocking all 5 people and wish I had done so sooner. After being accused of being a liar for about the 50th time, I was thoroughly fed up and when the opportunist said it one more time after I warned him not to, I blocked two profiles he had. He said I wouldn't be game to do it so I called his bluff.

A very unfortunate corollary to this was I had a meltdown last night. Mum is upset with me because I didn't go to my cousin's funeral in my hometown and wrote a letter to that effect. I told my brother I thought she had changed and wondered if something was going wrong. I thought he was disbelieving me when he said he would have to see the letter first and I blew up.

He tried to reason with me, which is always a mistake in these situations, and my partner had to hug me to get me to calm down. The bullies on FB apparently realised I was touchy about being called untruthful and I thought my brother was implying the same (not the first time this has happened, either).

We really didn't know exactly what was happening with travel plans and accommodation when it was my cousin's funeral. The letter from mum was quite cold. One of my other brothers had told me it would be okay to stay with mum and then it turned out it wasn't because she already had two family members staying with her. She was worried my partner would be the centre of attention as he has a full beard and tattoos on his arms and chest.

Unfortunately, I don't cope well with constant changes in plans and didn't know where to book and pay for the bus tickets up here (as the place we used to go to has been knocked down), couldn't make all the phone calls needed to book accommodation at short notice (phone phobia), and thought that if my partner wasn't welcome, then neither was I.

My brother who lives with me went down but didn't ask if we wanted to go with him on the day because at first he said he would only have room for one of us and then very late in the piece, would have had room for both. I hadn't booked a day off as my boss was away and at the time, I thought we couldn't make it. So, it has been a real mess. My brother also said my other brother offered on the Saturday to
book us into some accommodation but I don't remember hearing that; only something about making a bus booking.

I might add that such communication breakdowns are not exactly unusual in my family but this has been the worst that I can remember.

Pakrat, that sounds like my family. And yes, the Aspie members have even more difficulty dealing with that than the NTs. I find it extremely annoying and I sympathise with you! One word of comfort: the ones who are vague and keep changing plans probably genuinely don't realise what they are doing and why that is upsetting. I keep pointing such issues out to my family members who are guilty of this, but their only response would be: Huh? Oh yeah, well...

I'm sorry your mother wrote such a letter and you had a meltdown over it. Going to a funeral isn't obligatory, especially if it isn't very close family and there is some distance to be covered. A card will usually do in my book, but that's just my opinion. Good luck with this.

I'm not really in many non-Aspie forums; I do goto a 'philosophical' one, sometimes & I think I get on about as well there, as far as it goes, as I do here. If I found myself as un-welcome as you seem to be finding yourself, in any forum, I would leave. As I've left other forums, including AS ones; they're not worth the effort, for me, at least!
Otherwise, sorry, not really got any advice for you.

I'm on reptile forums periodically and occasionally stuff like digital spy though I suppose these are kind of special interest forums.
I was on a lesbian forum for a while but I'm rarely on that. I found that one to be most hostile and arguments often ensued.

I don't know what gives us away, but I have found that no matter how hard I try, my Aspie-ness is always found out.  Even before I was diagnosed, I'd get called a "freak" or worse, so it was a big relief to find out why I'm different from the rest of the herd.  

But how do they know, often on very short (or even no) acquaintance?  There must be something that gives it away, some little tell-tale feature.  I'm an average-looking middle-aged lady, long dark auburn hair, not too many wrinkles yet, physically little, and I'm told, well-spoken and quiet.  Perhaps a little dyspraxic, but not enough to be out of the ordinary.  I would have thought there were millions of others just like me everywhere on earth!  

But NTs always end up working out that I'm not just like them and treat me differently to how they'd treat other members of their herd.  Just yesterday I was going for a walk around the neighborhood to warm up (I get cold if I sit still studying for too long and I was like a block of ice, even though it's hot here now).  I passed two big beefy guys on the oval playing with a football and just ignored them as I walked past.  

All of a sudden the ball nearly hit me on the head, a huge kick behind it.  I assumed it was just a close shot and kept going.  Then it happened again!  I turned to look at them and they were laughing and jeering at me.  They were trying to get their ball to hit me.  It was very upsetting.  So something was obviously giving them the hint that they could act so uncivilized and with such a lack of respect around me.  Nasty, and I mean, what was the point?  If they'd hit me with it, would they have been happy, or somehow better?

No, it was just pure viciousness, of a sort I've become accustomed to over the past 50 years.  And while such knobs do give NT women a hard time as well, it seems to occur to me disproportionately.  Maybe it was because I ignored them?  Maybe an NT woman of any age would smile at their manly physiques (ignoring the overhanging beer bellies) and their prowess with the ball and therefore avoid retribution for the temerity of sharing the same planet as them?

Alison

What happened to you just simply is not right or just.  I guess this is but one incident that bullying does not end with high school.  What happened to you is harrassment; if not an outright assault.  If it happened to anybody else it would be an assault.  This act was deliberate; not an accident.  Did you consider reporting/did you report this to the campus police?  You should not have to put up with this kind of treatment any more than other (NT) people should or would put up with such uncivil and violent treatment.  It makes me angry these jerks got away with this.  But the reason why they did this is because they wanted a thrill and they thought you looked like the kind of victim the could maim for fun with impunity.  In other words their carnal instinct (social instinct) told them that they could hurt you and get away with it.

This wasn't an oval on a campus but the local sports oval and children's park.  When the second ball narrowly missed, I marched up to the two guys and told them angrily that they should watch were they were kicking, as they could hurt somebody.  Predictably I was called a "f----ing c--t", but that's par for the course.  As I said, they were knobs.  

I told Vernu about it and he said he should have gone with me, but what's the world coming to when a woman needs a bodyguarding male when she goes for a neighbourhood walk?  Although nothing ever happens when I'm walking with him, probably the presence of a six foot two, 90 kilo block of muscle is enough of a deterrent to anybody LOL  :O

It could be that NT women don't usually walk by themselves?  I must admit, I generally see them in groups.  Maybe it's safety in numbers.

Alison

I don't think that there is any great benefit in not telling people. They will notice that you are different anyway.

Being more persistent than most people can annoy people. Thinking about things in a different way generally isn't appreciated either.

While Aspies are often recognised as being different in many contexts, I'm not sure that you were getting treated differently.

The StopStreetHarassment.org site is worth reading. Most women get harassed in various ways by men.

NTs often describe Autism as an "Empathy Disorder", but incidents such as that one demonstrate the limits to the empathy of most NTs.

Maybe NT women are just better at pretending that such things don't hurt them.

Yes. Also at conferences and work events women cluster for safety.

The development of LifeLogging is going to help address some of these things. If you had two video cameras attached to your clothes and permanently recording then you could take action about such things. Unfortunately Australian law isn't helpful if you want to publish and shame the perps, but for police action it would be useful.

Digital cameras in phones are really small and very cheap (a camera is a small part of a $150 phone). It's only a matter of time before LifeLogging kits are as cheap as the Bloggie cameras.