Okay when someone dies, you are not allowed to say bad things about them, no matter how truthful is it. But yet we still talk bad about Hitler in school when we learn about world history. We still hear bad things about him in documentaries, same as when we watch shows on evil people who are now dead. Isn't that talking bad about them? We say how cold blooded they were, sociopath, etc.

But yet when a regular person dies, someone who isn't famous and evil but yet even if they did something wrong or something you thought was harmful to society, you still can't talk bad about them. So there was a man who used to go out in public dressed like an AB and apparently, it's a bad thing to say he gave ABs a bad name because of how he went out in public with his fetish and that is true because before he passed away, I used to see bad talk about him and they were saying how he is making us look bad because we are already misunderstood by society. What he did was harmless but apparently it's a bad thing for me to say lot of adult babies hated him because he made us all look bad by what he did in public. But it was the truth.

Heck if someone were to get raped by a person and then that person died like five years later, the victim isn't allowed to say how cold hearted he is and selfish and how he raped her? What about the victims families when someone murders their loved one? They are not allowed to talk bad about that person like saying he killed their uncle or brother or nephew?


This is all double standards. I think the whole point of this rule is has to do with they are no longer alive to defend themselves but they aren't around either in real life to defend themselves either. But yet when infamous people are evil and they pass away, we don't take all the books off the shelves about them and stop airing documentaries about them. Do infamous people not have that right because they did the worst thing in the world? So apparently killing people is worse than raping someone or killing one person so they still have that right? Even if someone was a jerk and a bully, you still can't talk bad about them, even if it was the truth. You can say what things they did to you because they are now dead and you are now being censored. So if my ex's were to die, I wouldn't be allowed to talk about them anymore saying how ignorant my last one was or how lazy my first one was and manipulative he played mind games no matter how truthful it was or my perspective of them.

That's why I don't take this rule seriously because of the double standards and I also think it's stupid.

I'd say it's generally more to do with the dead person's family or friends and not offending them.

Respecting the dead is fear of one's own death or, as in Gareth's example, other's fear of their own death.

As with any intense fear, it is irrational and results in a huge emotional backlash, so best keep to established mores.

I heard of a saying, "Funerals are for the living, not the dead."

I think it's an insult to the dead person's memory and personal decisions they made when they were still alive to make them seem different than what they are, even if they were bad in your opinion.

This post was last modified: 03-26-2011 11:41 PM by Ana54.

Oh, and what bothers me is when people withhold compliments from me afraid it will inflate my ego, but once I'm dead I bet they'll let it all loose, and I won't be around to enjoy it.

It's probably a combination of people being more candid when they think they can get away with things, and people remembering things somewhat subjectively.  To go to your Hitler example, there are people who insist that the Holocaust didn't happen, or wasn't as bad as people make it out to be.  That's something that's too big and important to let people paint over with rosy memories, and since there's plenty of proof about what happened it's not just a 'he said she said' thing.

Other things are worth letting go though, and I think that's where the 'don't talk bad about the dead' thing comes in.  People see people and events in somewhat subjective ways, and a lot of times it's just not worth it to disillusion them--even the worst people have their good qualities no doubt.  If something's minor, and/or there's no objective evidence, it's probably not worth mentioning, at least to the family and friends.

I guess it comes down to two principles--know your audience, and the past is past.

That is the case in my own religious tradition (Protestant or Reformed Christian).  We don't say prayers for the dead or intercede on their behalf.  The funeral is part of a service of worship, and prayers are said for the mourners, not the person who has died.  The main purpose of the funeral service is to provide pastoral care and comfort to the living.

This post was last modified: 03-26-2011 11:53 PM by Marcia.

Are you sure? Catholics do say prayers for the dead.

( I did ask for my mothers soul to not be judged for her sins against me as a child. Dont know if that had any effect or was even heard by anyone. I still feel that way about her soul)

That's why I only spoke about what happens in my own tradition.  Yes, Roman Catholics do say prayers for the dead, and their funeral services are very different from Protestant ones.  I don't know what Orthodox Christians do, but I suspect they'll be more similar to RCs.

It piss me off to no end when people refuse to say bad thing about a dead person.

For example Micheal Jackson. Prior to his death, people where still making joke about him and little boys. Now its like every one forgot about that part and they all praise him, and wish to could go to his concert etc.

Not Jon Lajoie though.

Yeah and people forget that Michael Jackson was a drug addict who kept people around him who enabled his addictions.  

I asked someone why they thought it was so wrong to say anything about a dead person -- and what is bad is a matter of opinion -- because they are not around to defend themselves.  Well someone who victimizes people who are weaker or children -- who defends them?  

It is just a power struggle because some people have some fantasy about a dead person or they do not want to take blame for not doing anything about someone else's crime.

I remember when MJ died, lot of people all of a sudden started saying good things about him and nice things and I no longer heard what a pedo he is and all that. Only very few said it. It made no sense so I figured it must have to do with this rule. I also think people who hated him and thought he was a pedo and a child molester shut their mouths because of the rule so more MJ fans stood out because they all of a sudden started talking about him again because of his death. Woops I just disrespected the dead basically. :Rolls eyes:

See what I mean by censorship, I can't even state a fact anymore about people's actions against a singer or I am disrespecting the dead. That is what pisses me off.

Okay I will never all of a sudden start saying good things about someone or showing sympathy if I didn't like them as they were alive nor had any good thoughts about him. I just keep my mouth shut than doing BS and to me people who all of a sudden say good things about a person when they used to trash talk the person is BSing. To me it's a lie they are doing. That is what also pisses me off. Either keep their mouths shut or don't say good things about them since it wasn't their thoughts while they were alive.

People still bad talk people as they are alive and they still are not around to defend themselves. Families can defend their dead ones.

I thought it's been more or less proven that the parents who pressed charges against Michael Jackson did so because they were after his money from the beginning.

To me, the rule of respect for the dead should be determined on a case-by-case basis. MJ was an unusual case in that he was a brilliant and groundbreaking entertainer who was beset by controversy in his later years. Yes, people are still making jokes about him, but at least the radio stations are playing his songs again.