Are You An Annoying Man?

http://health.ninemsn.com.au/menshealth/...noying-man

If it's a case that you're single, rarely can sustain a relationship for more than three weeks and have few friendships that have lasted more than three years — could it possibly be that you are more annoying than you think... but just don't know it?

It is said that as people get older, especially men, they become more selfish and set in their ways, particularly if they've been living independently for years.

One reason for this is that it becomes increasingly difficult to appraise your behaviour and attitude when there are few people brave around to point out your faults. It's easier to just carry on, acting like a bull in a china shop, blindly ignoring the fact that a lack of friends, regular sex or real trustworthy mates actually comes down to you.

If this is the case perhaps it's time for a hard look in the mirror and a spot of self-analysis? The following are a few scenarios relating to relationships and the workplace that might just inform you that your present MO in life may need a little tweaking or even a complete makeover?

The 'always right guy'
In a nutshell this is any number of active politicians. Such an image is not a good social selling point in the quest to get a girl and keep her. Even friends get tired of a mate who believes his own views and decisions are beyond reproach and questioning.

There are two types here — the guy who thinks he's right at all costs and makes sure everyone knows it to the last, or the one who compromises, gives way but still deep down believes he is the fountain of infallibility and truth. Either one it's a dangerous trait to leave unguarded and allowed to grow.

The 'lacking self-awareness guy'
Funny how some folks who *** and moan about life or about others being miserable and whinging rarely have the self-realisation to recognise they are guilty of the same behaviour.

A close relative of mine was constantly acting this way on Facebook. After reading too many of his extremely annoying messages the only solution was to 'de-friend' him. Make sure your behaviour doesn't warrant the same severe response.

Women in particular don't like whining men, unless of course they're exactly the same and realise they've met their match.

The 'attention-seeking guy'
Social network sites allow the most annoying kind of indulgent behaviour from people — especially from self-absorbed men and women in equal measures. Are public messages such as 'Why does life treat me so badly?' or 'I feel nobody loves me' genuine calls for help or pathetic pleas for attention and sympathy?

The internet provides a platform for not only self-confessional waffle but the means to massage the egos of people who desperately want to appear 'special'.

The 'passive-aggressive guy'
This is a trait commonly displayed by most reality television contestants and one that generally refers to when people use their personalities to manipulate others and get their own way.

Employing stubbornness or an unwillingness to compromise or agree at any cost is a particularly annoying form behaviour that grates with loved ones, friends and work colleagues.

If you're not sure this ugly habit relates to you personally just ask yourself, when was the last time you agreed with others in a heated debate or actually gave way? If the answer is "not recently", it might be time to re-evaluate.

The 'one way conversation guy'
If there's one thing worse than a guy having selective hearing it's the irritating action of cutting people off mid-sentence or only allowing others to reply in the kind of hurried response befitting of a machine gun.

Women in particular rate this anti-social and mortifying habit as one of the most annoying. It doesn't matter if you resemble George Clooney or even how good you are in bed. Keep making her feel she's not worth listening to and you can count your relationship in days, not weeks.

The 'dissing guy'
Most people like a bit ribbing and sarcastic banter now and then but when a guy constantly appears to be critical of everyone and everything around him it sends alarm bells ringing.

It's annoying enough for work colleagues to hear such a guy passing judgment on everyone but himself, but even more difficult for his partner to stomach if she believes her family and friends are viewed as idiots.

It's smart to remember that everyone deserves respect — to a point — and not so great for a relationship if you appear like a male version of Anne Robinson on The Weakest Link.

The 'what have I done? guy'
If you've got too plastered to remember a planned date or left a girl hanging around like a lemon in the pouring rain due to the fact that you were too busy chatting with mates or watching sports on TV — don't aggravate the situation by making out that it's not you who is unreasonable.

One major indication of a conceited ego is a man who can't own up to his faults or the fact that he's screwed up. It's not just annoying for the women he goes out with but also exasperating for friends and work colleagues alike.

The 'potty mouth guy'
Some guys believe that if they use slang or swear like an ill-educated trooper it will give them 'edge' and relieve them from their middle-class roots. Actually such crass behaviour is not only irritating to colleagues or other listeners having to suffer such affectations, but it also comes across as hugely disrespectful.

The girlfriend or first date might have an accent that can sandpaper a mahogany sideboard but that doesn't mean she's stupid. She deserves better. Natural swearing when angry or to accentuate an anecdote is permissible but talking like a 12-year-old schoolboy who is daring to use the F-word in public is simply annoying and tedious.

The 'autocratic guy'
This doesn't just mean flicking over the TV channel as if no one else's viewing habits matter or taking the Christmas tree down several days early without informing the rest of the household.

It's also about not bothering to seek any form of consultation with others before simply just doing what Mr Autocratic guy wants to do.

Mussolini might have got away with such nonsense but it's unlikely Joe Bloggs will survive acting out similar didactic and insensitive behaviour without seriously cheesing off everyone around him.

I'm annoying but I don't think I really fit in any. I guess others would say attention-seeking though...

i'm not annoying, just a bit idiotic. yet i've had one relationship out of four that has lasted longer than three weeks.

Jesus hates me.

YES! I am annoying! I am so annoying I even annoy myself! Good job! Well **** done!

I'm "The Always Right Guy" and also "The One-Way Conversation Guy". Good combo.

This article is sexist.  Anyone can be any of these things.  It doesn't matter whether they're male or female.

One which isn't listed is "The Overly-Neieve Guy" (Hope I haven't spelt that wrong ) where except my own perception of right and wrong "behaviour" every other thought that requires being putting one's self into other people's shoes is invisible and therefore impossible to distinguish and to adhere to. This kills friendships, let alone relationships

I think most of this sums up alot of characteristics of Aspie men.  I think this boils down to lack of "theory of mind", and when such supremely significant gaffes occur (in the realm of intimate relationships), the Aspie is overly sensitive because he knows he screwed up again but really meant no harm.  Also keep in mind an Aspie man's life coping strategies can very often conflict with the everyday ways of a significant other.

When I was a kid I was told I was self-centered and selfish. It's always been a struggle to overcome that image in different facets of my life.  No matter how you slice it, I'll always be eccentric.  But eccentric and selfish don't have to mean the same thing.  As I've lived in learn, I've been through situations where the parties accusing me of being selfish were really the selfish ones just taking advantage of me.

In the realm of male singlehood and what is essentially involuntary celibacy, selfish tendencies and habits can indeed develop.  But I don't like to think of it as a bad thing.  (Keep in mind too, many women are certainly the same way.)  It is good to indulge in hobbies and interests and it sure helps to get a guy's mind off of what he feels he's missing (intimacy, positive female companionship).  For a guy to be busy doing his thing is far better than to be desperately pining about trying to get a date.  If a guy was to put all his energy and resources into trying to find love; well he'd come accross as desperate and by definition that is a turn-off.

On a personal note, I'm just beginning to enjoy life in a way I couldn't enjoy when I was married (granted these marriages were not worth the compromise).  Once I've paid off cumulative debt, I'd like to do things I've never done before but hope to be able to afford to do.  I'd very much like to experience two-way love in my life and I know there'd be compromise involved.  Deep questions would have to be addressed honestly by both parties about our outlooks in life, how each of us handles things (including life-coping skills), etc.  Yet in the meantime, I'm not going to cry about being without partner but strongly desiring one.  I've got to keep my mind off of that and (practically for once) do the things I want to do, grow and develop.

I also wanted to include this in my previous post.  I read "An Asperger Marriage" by Christopher & Giselle Walker.  Christopher is Aspie and Giselle is NT.  As with many Aspie-NT couple who come together without knowledge or forsight about what it means regarding a partner with Asperger Syndrome, Christopher & Giselle had major marital problems.  Fortunately they were able to combat their problems as each of them learned about what Asperger Syndrome really was, why each partners' needs were different, and how to effectively compromise.

There's a part in particular I'd like to mention.  As an Aspie myself, I have a tendency to react slowly to sudden things (in comparison to an NT person) especially if my mind's engaged at something.  This same orientation applied to Christopher Walker.  Now if Giselle was busy doing something and a mini crisis occured, Christopher was not inclined to automatically, instantaneously rush over to tend to it.  Christopher had to be more concious of those types of situations and he was.  But he still screwed up.  To compound tensios, while Christopher was trying to do the right thing and screwed up, Giselle would be mad at him because he seemed to care more about whether or not he was "good" rather then about Giselle's welfare at the moment.  Hence tensions escalated.  I'm sure Christopher's intentions were both about Giselle's welfare and that he didn't want to screw up being a good husband.  Well, fortunately between them this gaffe was eventually understood.

actually i am a bit towards the potty mouthed type, as i'm sure my posts convey.

And here was I thinking you were just fond of asterisks.

haha, bit of both really

Some people just naturally attract a lot of hate, and will be considered "annoying" no matter what they do.

I go thru a cycle of them all, so yeah think that kind of makes me anoying, problem lies in i anoy myself more so aswell, good to see im not the only 1 tho