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+-- Forum: Autistic Culture (/forumdisplay.php?fid=50)
+--- Forum: Poetry / creative writing (/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Thread: Ongoing story... (/showthread.php?tid=5415)
Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 11-01-2006 11:35 AM
In writer's workshops, we used to call these "Neverending Stories". Thought it would be cool to do one.
What you do is to leave the story at an unfinished point, and the next person picks up where you left off. It's fun.
I was running late. A full moon lit my path as I raced along the road, air burning in my lungs, but I was so sure that I would never make it.
I just knew that something was going to happen that night. But I never expected to meet...
(...Continue...)
- Bob Bobson - 11-01-2006 12:48 PM
a man in a frog suit wielding a machete. An aura of evilness surrounded him, as well as some litter from a local McDonalds.
Fearing the worst I dove behind a nearby bus shelter. To my suprise there lay a...
- trent - 11-01-2006 06:30 PM
corspe of a middle aged woman getting dry-humped by Chris Griffin.
She had a name tag on her jacket that read Maria Maculiaclulicia.
Then suddenly Maria...
- Xavier - 11-01-2006 08:58 PM
I used to play this game in the playground at primary school a lot.
It can be fun but is unlikely to result in a very good consistent story.
- nyanchan - 11-02-2006 10:14 AM
Xavier Wrote:
I used to play this game in the playground at primary school a lot.
It can be fun but is unlikely to result in a very good consistent story.
It can be fun but is unlikely to result in a very good consistent story.
:grin: Fun is good. :grin:
-----
...opened her eyes. She turned her head towards the bus shelter and whispered...
- tenaciouscj - 11-02-2006 05:50 PM
"look behind you".
- Nivek - 11-02-2006 06:21 PM
came to life and ripped Chris Griffin of her, tearing him into shreds with bloodied claws.
She was alive, with eyes of gleaming ruby. She was undead.
- tenaciouscj - 11-03-2006 11:16 AM
and as mad as hell!
"What is the meaning of this?" - she shrieked.
- Bob Bobson - 11-04-2006 09:13 AM
The man in the frog suit who just happened to have a degree in advanced illogical story explaination stepped in and explained to Maria that she was brought back to life for this terrible story and that now her part was done she might aswell go home. Then he vanished in a puff of smoke.
She then proceeded to do what was suggested and climb back into her grave.
All seemed well in the world as I continued my journey home.
The end...or is it...?
- Nivek - 11-04-2006 11:43 AM
It wasn't the end of my adventure. In fact, it was just the begining.
It was barely 5 minutes after witnessing the undead Maria dying for a second time when suddenly, a man in a monkey suit carrying a basketball appeared around a corner.
Before I could react, he threw the ball at me. "Catch," he said.
Unfortunately, being clumsy and slow, the ball slipped past my fingers and slammed into my head.
- Luai_lashire - 11-04-2006 03:11 PM
I lost conciousness imediately.
When I woke up, I was in a room with.....
- Bookworm - 11-04-2006 05:09 PM
A copy of the Great Gatsby and a Subway Italian BMT on my bedside. I suddenly became aware of the fact that . . .
- Nivek - 11-04-2006 07:47 PM
although I had no idea what a Subway Italian BMT was, I knew its name. Strange, I thought.
And the Great Gatsby? I had sworn never to read that book. Never ever!
- Bookworm - 11-04-2006 09:50 PM
i decided that it was about time . . .
- tenaciouscj - 11-05-2006 06:12 AM
to go visit my friend, Mergatroyd the happy hamster. Sure, he could be a bit too happy for my liking, especially when I wanted to stay miserable, but then I thought "what the hey".
- Bookworm - 11-05-2006 10:12 AM
perhaps she'll be wearing underpants this time.
Then again, . . .
- Nivek - 11-05-2006 10:45 AM
hamsters don't wear underpants. Even though they are hermaphrodites being both he and she.
Well, Mergatroyd...
- Bookworm - 11-05-2006 11:38 AM
lived on the doorstep of a large apricot jam factory.
i decided to. . .
- tenaciouscj - 11-05-2006 05:08 PM
And he was very chubby as he frequently snuck into the factory to nibble on any stray apricots he could find. It put him in a sweet mood but the owner of the factor was not impressed and vowed to exterminate whatever was making the holes in his fruit.
- Bob Bobson - 11-05-2006 06:44 PM
It got late and then it dawned on me that Mergatroyd lived in a small glass container, so even though she was kind enough to let me stay in her spare room it was much too tiny for me to sleep in. So I decided to stalk the local misty graveyard in search of vampires with a room to rent. Unfortunatly...
- Bookworm - 11-05-2006 06:53 PM
i had lost my map.
i walked to the bus stop in the rain, painfully aware that . . .
- tenaciouscj - 11-06-2006 04:16 AM
and fell into an open grave.
- Bookworm - 11-06-2006 09:45 PM
the worms and the mud were unpleasant.
i started to cry because
- Bob Bobson - 11-06-2006 10:20 PM
I used to do these in college all the time. Infact they were the only way I could talk to some people. They generally started with "I love you, lets remarry".
Anyway I started crying because my pants were on fire. I was having a torrid time of late, what with the falling into a grave, my pants catching on fire, and the acid rain, thus the emotional outburst. I realised I had not yet reached the bottom of the grave yet and I knew I was about to reach the perilous fortress of the moles.
- Nivek - 11-07-2006 04:30 AM
I landed with a hard jolt to my rump. Molle guards halted me, their spears forming a ring around me.
"I just wanna go out," I said.
"No, you're coming with us," they said. "Our queen wishes to meet you."
I decided it would be best not to fight...
"Okay, lets go," I said.
- nyanchan - 11-07-2006 09:07 AM
The queen of the moles was sitting on a great mole throne, made of leaves and raspberry gummy bears. As she heard me enter (because moles are blind) she stood up and grabbed a...
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 11:06 AM
packet of gummi bears? "Would you like some gummi bears?" she asked.
- Bob Bobson - 11-07-2006 11:23 AM
I took a gummy bear, unaware of the great tragedy that was about to befall me...the gummy bear was grapefruit flavoured. I spat it out in disgust.
The mole queen then ordered a guard to tap a sign on the wall which read "no spitting"
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 11:39 AM
"Eww gross!" the queen yelled (rather strangely I thought as surely the grapefruit flavour was the grossest ever) - "Take him away and put him in the prison!".
- Nivek - 11-07-2006 11:53 AM
"Wait..." I called as the guards surrounded me. "You said you wanted to see me. Surely there is something more?"
"Yes," the queen replied, "Here have another." She threw me another gummy bear.
I hesitated.
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 12:01 PM
But thought "surely it can't be such a dreadful flavour as the last one?" and caught it in my hands.
- #The fREaK! - 11-07-2006 12:26 PM
"OOOF EEEF ERRF!", I said, calmly, as my hands promply melted. My vision faded...
When I woke up, I heard the annoying shouts of loud-mouthed idiots! The guards were having a party. My hands where whole again. Confused, I turned my head, only to ram it into a truly enormous can of beer. It broke, and the entire prison was flooded. I swam my way to safety, while all the guards drowned.
Out of nowhere, I suddenly heard a terrified shout, along with the evil, raspy cackle of the queen. Suddenly in a state of panic, I ran, only to fall over as I took the first few steps...
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 12:42 PM
towards freedom.
"Helppp!" I yelled as something long and snakey grabbed me by the legs and pulled me up into the air.
- #The fREaK! - 11-07-2006 12:59 PM
A large, tentacled monster! "What's this?", the monster said. "You are not Japanese, nor a schoolgirl. What a shame." The monster then threw me away, resulting in a quick, otherwise trouble-free flight out of the fortress of the moles.
High into the air, I went, and then crashed down into a tree. How much time passed, I do not know, but eventually, I woke up, lying in a hospital bed.
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 01:08 PM
'Where am I?, I groaned as I slowly regained consciousness.
- Nivek - 11-07-2006 05:18 PM
"You my dear, are in the City of the Golden Shrew," said a voice.
- tenaciouscj - 11-07-2006 05:42 PM
"Yikes!" I exclaimed "Where will this all end?"
- #The fREaK! - 11-07-2006 07:24 PM
"Wherever you'll be when you die...?", another voice most helpfully said.
- Nivek - 11-08-2006 05:26 AM
"Okay, whatever," I said. "So how do I get out of here?"
- Amadeus_lupin - 11-08-2006 06:05 PM
"By turning the page and hoping you're in soemone elses story" This golden voice of the sky came from the god of story telling. "
The great story god sighed and wished there were more months for him that were like November
- #The fREaK! - 11-08-2006 11:37 PM
"Aaaaaaaaargh.", someone suddenly said, calmly and peacefully; for what reason, shall forever remain a mystery. What was significantly less mysterious was the fact that, due to the immense loudness of the voice in question, every window in the room shattered.
As I looked up in sudden shock, I saw a depressed emo doctor sitting in a corner of the room, as he shrieked in horror when a flying piece of glass cut him, but he soon became thankful, the glass having saved him from the arduous task of doing so himself.
Suddenly, the blood of the doctor began to glow with increasing brightness, and after mere moments, I suddenly became blinded by an immense flash of light.
Then, came a massive "THUD!", followed by a brief bolt of pain, spreading through the body. As I looked around, I noticed the surroundings had changed...
- Bob Bobson - 11-09-2006 02:13 AM
boggled by these strange and confusing events. I decided to explore my surroundings. I soon realised I had travelled back in time to where the story began. I was in a time warp.
Anyway I was still running late for something I had completly forgotten. I began to run for no apparant reason. The full moon moking me, the local smog burning my lungs. I was so sure I would never make it out of this story.
I thought I knew exactly what was going to happen that night. But I never expected to meet...
- nyanchan - 11-09-2006 08:38 AM
... My mother, especially since she wasn't there when the story began.
She had the same raincoat on that she'd worn on my last birthday, which I found rather strange. It was supposed to be green but I couldn't see the colours so well in the dark.
But it was especially strange because it wasn't actually raining.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
- #The fREaK! - 11-09-2006 11:15 AM
"AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!", the resounding answer was. And as she turned around, I saw...
- tenaciouscj - 11-09-2006 04:34 PM
Jabba the Hutt.
- eyedan - 11-09-2006 04:59 PM
"Jabba the Hutt?! What the hell!?" I said. But then I thought back and remembered not too long ago that I had taken some......
- tenaciouscj - 11-09-2006 05:17 PM
strange looking mushrooms and had a taste from them.
- Bob Bobson - 11-10-2006 03:31 PM
Bored of this crazy world of Jabba the Huts and other non-sensicle characters, I decided to sleep in the middle of the street. When I awoke I found some kind strangers had left some money. Enough money to go to Lanzarote for a holiday.
I was just about to get on the plane when...
- tenaciouscj - 11-10-2006 04:33 PM
Weird Al Yankovic strolled up to me. He was wearing a brightly coloured tropical shirt and had a macaw on his shoulder.
- nyanchan - 11-11-2006 10:15 AM
(TENACIOUSCJ has a new AVATAR! Cool.)
His shirt was so bright that it burnt the backs of my eyes. I said "Why do you have a macaw on your shoulder?"
"Because I need him to write my songs for me," said Weird Al Yankovic. "What? You didn't think a human could come up with anything that WEIRD?"
- tenaciouscj - 11-12-2006 05:32 PM
"Hmmm", I said "He must be a very smart macaw". :smile:
- Bob Bobson - 11-13-2006 09:29 PM
(is that funky coloured thing a fridge tenaciouscj? if it is, it would cool in every sense of the word)
After boarding the plane with Weird Al, I sat near the window. Weird Al then proclaimed how he wanted to sit by the window. I showed him my ticket which said that my seat was the one by the window. An argument broke out, which esculated into a titanic battle over the window seat.
I unfortunatly killed Al and so I tried to flush him out of the plane to hide the body but he wouldn't fit.
- tenaciouscj - 11-14-2006 05:51 PM
Yes, it's my old fridge, which I covered with contakt.
Suddenly, I felt something wet and sticky splat on my nose. Weird Al's Macaw (in revenge, I surmised) had divebombed me!. He was coming back for a second attack when...
- Nivek - 11-14-2006 07:07 PM
he lost interest and decided he was better off eating Weird Al...so much for hiding the body :lol:
I cleaned myself and prepared myself for the landing.
- tenaciouscj - 11-15-2006 05:26 PM
But when the macaw bit into Weird Al, he came back to life and this just about scared me into the middle of next week!
- Bob Bobson - 11-15-2006 06:27 PM
I repeatedly hit Weird Al over the head with a spade, yet his zombie powers kept his frail skull in one piece. I realised that since he was alive (sort of) I would no longer be done for murder. I said to him "fine, have the window seat" to which he replied "uuurrrrgh...brains...?". I took this to mean ok, and so I helped him into the seat. Unfortunatly somebody left the window wide open and he was sucked right out of the plane. His macaw went after him in an attempt to save him but flew into the jet engine
- nyanchan - 11-17-2006 05:49 AM
Distracted by the receding sound of Weird Al's cries and the smell of toasty macaw, I did not think to try and right the plane until it had already started to dive.
(Did I miss the bit where the plane appeared?!) :$
- Bob Bobson - 11-17-2006 10:02 AM
(I put it a while back, 'The Character' as I have dubbed him/her was going to Lanzarote)
I did not think to right the plane as I wasn't the pilot. I was puzzled as to why the pilot didn't bother. We crash landed onto a Lost-esque Island, alot of crazy things happened involving hatches and others, But then they moved it to Sky one so I couldn't watch it anymore. Luckly it was the actual island where they film Lost so the film crew took us survivors in for hot chocolate and the like.
- Nivek - 11-17-2006 02:24 PM
But after the hot chocolate, they made us a deal. They would film us living on an island for 39 days and see what would happen. They promised us a million dollars EACH and of course we gladly agreed to do it. Thinking back, there were 16 of us who survived the crash land.
Then the film crew abandoned us, leaving automated cameras to film our progress. We started to build our shelter on the beach. That first night, a group of fierce-looking tribal men and women, with sharp pointy teeth came and demanded we surrender one of our own... They looked bloody real but we knew better. Anyway, we decided
- tenaciouscj - 11-17-2006 02:39 PM
thoroughly bombard them with coconuts until they finally slunk off.
"We'll be back!" one of them yelled defiantly but another pulled on his arm and started running.
- Bob Bobson - 11-18-2006 02:29 AM
30 days in and there were only 3 people left. Most had been attacked by pirahnas, bears, disgruntled goats, and aliens. We had run out of jungle food, we were contemplating which one of us would give up our arm for the nightly feast. I bravely decided to step forward and cut off Jimmy's arm, I devoured it whole. Dave (the other survivor) was annoyed that he didn't get any of the arm and gave chase.
- tenaciouscj - 11-18-2006 08:58 AM
And tripped over Weird Al, who had managed to get onto the Island somehow. Weird Al was weakly singing "Party At The Leper Colony" which seemed strangely appropriate given the loss of a limb that had just recently occurred.
- Nivek - 11-18-2006 07:57 PM
Well, Dave wasted no time and bashed Weird Al with a heavy coconut. He then dragged Weird Al back to camp and took out a huge knife....
Then Jimmy was calling and waving frantically to me with his one arm to join Dave and him. I hesitated. Jimmy and I had an alliance since day 1 and we had pledged to be the final two survivors! But now Dave was offering him an arm and a leg! Could I trust him anymore?
- Amadeus_lupin - 11-19-2006 01:15 AM
But then did the Betrayal came as it became apartment why so many Daves existed across the world as dave the spawn of hell called his unholy legion of Daveness to join in
- nyanchan - 11-19-2006 10:43 AM
... with the mole people from an earlier installment. The attack of DeprAVEd mania reached the island within the day, where implanted microchips just behind their ears caused legions of Daves to march onto the beach.
They pulled off the upper layer of their faces, and revealed themselves to be...
- tenaciouscj - 11-20-2006 05:18 AM
The gerbils of doom, destruction, and despair!
- trent - 11-22-2006 08:51 PM
Suddenly, indigo mood shift intrudes with the tepid, anti- sci-factoid pseudo-intelligent nightlife.
Putrid-green skys puke up bright blue Pisces, Capricorns, and Tauruses.
Marvelous.
Saw a temptous temp bleed tear-sheads the broken buckled of her Mary Jane.
Saw her eyes gazes upon my own.
Saw her abrupt scowl
But I see how rose-ped-embedded red lace curtains
Effortlessly conceals the Ascension Cross
That Upstands the top of an otherwise A Gothic Temple
Of Odinist Gargoyles
Scaring their simulaneously decrepid yet sincere facial language
Monotheists were to frightened by their beastialic posture
To understand their internal stance as ani-humanist
As they climb the church's walls permanetly encarcerated in obsidian
Makes us both corrupt
- nyanchan - 11-23-2006 10:50 AM
"Eh?!" :? said I, believing for a moment that the army of Daves must have slipped me some peculiar but unknown drug or other. Especially as spinning, dischordant starscapes all around me make my head expand like some esoteric balloon.
- tenaciouscj - 11-23-2006 01:56 PM
And battalions of flying pigs whizzed by in perfect formation...
- tenaciouscj - 11-26-2006 03:45 AM
I'd had just about enough of all this confusion. It wasn't helping the mega headache I'd had for the last few hours. I closed my eyes and ...
- Bob Bobson - 11-26-2006 04:59 AM
I had realised I had forgotten all about what had gone on in the past few weeks. How strange I thought to myself as when I opened my eyes everything was black. A voice told me that this world was one of fiction, and whatever the writer wanted to happen would. I hoped the next writer would be kind enough to supply me with jelly and maybe a bouncy castle...
- tenaciouscj - 11-26-2006 02:03 PM
Some furry beanbags and a big box of chocolate fudge brownies.
- matt_t - 11-30-2006 05:04 AM
suddenly matt_t appears from out of nowhere having read only the first page of posts and the one before his and grabs the box of brownies and...
- Meiloyn - 11-30-2006 05:11 AM
...the brownies explode in his face! (Sorry matt, I like explosive things) Then The real brownies that were inside the bottom of the box fell into the hands of Anna. "I win this round!" she said, and...
- nyanchan - 11-30-2006 08:53 AM
:boom:
...Dipped them in a giant mug of cocoa and marshmallows, which had been specially engineered to explode at the appointed time.
- tenaciouscj - 11-30-2006 05:07 PM
She only narrowly escaped plunging into the perfectly perilous pits of poo which suddenly opened up around the countryside. "Quickly, we've got to run" somebody shouted, and grabbed her arm.
- Meiloyn - 11-30-2006 09:30 PM
Anna looked at the person holding her arm. This was a rather vicious-looking NT, so she lran away to go to a a store that sold NT-Blasters and...
- Bob Bobson - 11-30-2006 09:46 PM
purchased one for a nominal fee.
She took aim at the no doubt crazy arm grabbing NT, and squeezed the trigger. The next thing she heard was a strange fizzing noise...
(Stay tuned for the next gripping installment of Ongoing Story)
- tenaciouscj - 12-01-2006 03:38 PM
The shopkeeper had given her a soda siphon instead of an NT blaster.
RE: - ichtms - 12-06-2006 02:06 AM
retsalbTNnafodaetsninooooooooooooooooooooo! Ut it cout, Mouses shrieked and airplanes raged like photograph(er?)s that oh-my-god:ed breathlessly at the sight of Aurora
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 12-06-2006 10:49 AM
...Australis blazing in the horizon.
Soda popped and fizzled from the bottle, covering the furniture in glorious sticky foam.
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 12-09-2006 12:48 PM
In all the ensuing confusion, Anna took the opportunity to make a run for it.
RE: Ongoing story... - oldgrouch - 12-09-2006 06:39 PM
Tripping over a rock, she grasped a round object which managed to slip onto her finger. Is this the Great Ring of Power?, she wondered. But alas, it was only a cigar band, but not just any cigar band. It was, in fact the.......
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-10-2006 04:41 AM
cigar band that inspired Buddy Bolden to invent jazz back in Lincoln Park, New Orleans in the summer of 1893 and made him so crazy 14 years later that he never played another note
RE: Ongoing story... - oldgrouch - 12-10-2006 05:12 AM
on his grandma's sousaphone. What he failed to realize was that his problem was related to to the Porsiphlagic force fields which were directed toward specific areas of......
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 12-10-2006 07:14 AM
His bum.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-12-2006 03:11 PM
Pakrat Wrote:
His bum.
The bums bum or whose bum. ***? Hose it down! Which? The witches bum, off course of course.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 12-13-2006 12:36 PM
Oh no! she realised suddenly. Witches' bums are too green and warty for the Porsiplagic force fields even to be slightly effected by the onslaught of fizzy soda.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-20-2006 06:28 PM
-Ono! Let the onslaught continue. Here are too much of...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-24-2006 08:16 PM
.. what is here too much might at another place be too little. And the trajectory is still basically undefined...
...sea is the home to fish,
RE: Ongoing story... - rossco - 12-25-2006 10:10 AM
...I was suddenly and painfully ware that Mergatroyd was slapping me.
"WElcome to the land of the living!", he laughed, "Geez mate you were saying some really weird stuff..."
"Like what?!", I retorted angrily. A bit put off by his all too happy manner.
"Like you really don't wanna know" He giggled.
"What happened?"
"You mean before you stuffed those LSD-laced apricots in your mouth or after you went semi-catatonic on me"
"Why leave LSD-laced apricots around the place?", I asked sincerely
"Ummm....look you've wasted enough time already being fried off your brain are you ready for that secret mission or not?"
First time I'd seen him annoyed. He stared at me scratching his crutch (I now know why I liked him with underpants on)
"OK!" I said
"Good!" he replied, once more a happy little hamster, "Umm...can you pass me over one of those apricots?"
.......
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 12-31-2006 03:22 PM
"It'll cost ya", I replied.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-01-2007 05:51 PM
"Umm, I've only got 5c", whimpered Mergatroyd.
"Sigh, that will do", I said, passing over the apricots.
We both put apricots in our mouths and started chewing...
RE: Ongoing story... - Bob Bobson - 01-01-2007 05:52 PM
until...
(cue dramatic music)
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-01-2007 08:13 PM
... the refrigerator suddenly started to interogate us as if we were guilty of horrific transgressions against its contents of milk, cheese, yellow pea soup, sausage and bread...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-02-2007 06:40 AM
... the refrigerator suddenly started to interogate us as if we were guilty of horrific transgressions against its contents of milk, cheese, yellow pea soup (now consumed), sausage (also gone) and bread (and even the bread is no more)...
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 01-02-2007 09:36 AM
"Pfft", we said "You are but a figment of our imaginations".
RE: Ongoing story... - rossco - 01-02-2007 03:18 PM
"Yes...." The fridge stated quite uncertainly, "Perhaps you're right" and on that despondent and slightly depressed note the fridge shut its door, much to the chagrin of the angry contents of the fridge.
I sat back in the seat amazed."Whoa!", I said to the all too happy and non-fazed Mergatroyd, "That was pretty trippy!"
"Yeah it was cool hey? But if you think that was good you see what is gonna happen next?"
In a sudden, but unfortunately temporary flash of lucidity, it occured to me Mergatroyd was not only handing this well but had probably consumed "the odd apricot" in his life and he would know.
Then it happened............
RE: Ongoing story... - Bob Bobson - 01-02-2007 03:43 PM
Mergatroyd spontaneously imploded for little to no apparant reason, creating a black hole of sorts. After watching the fridge being devoured by it, I decided to flee, but to no avail, I was already past the event horizon. I drifted slowly towards the singularity resigned to my fate, when suddenly everything flashed a shocking pink and I found myself stood in a...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-03-2007 01:17 AM
... and I found myselfs too, Dinah Sore, while my memory of Mergatroyd fell apart.
-"Que?" said Dinah Sore and grimaced like a flower
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 01-06-2007 10:07 AM
...when he realised that she'd spent all her life pretending that she couldn't actually speak Spanish.
The secret was out.
But at the sight of demolished sausages all around us, the world was suddenly so much more difficult to understand.
"But," my companions suggested. "Perhaps the Great Compost Rat could give us some answers."
RE: Ongoing story... - rossco - 01-06-2007 11:46 AM
"I think conversing with compost rat is the most ludicrous thing ever!", stated one of my companions. She was a young girl in a school uniform. Obviously smart in a bookwormish kind of way.
"The only kind of rats you ought to talk to a your familiars!", she derided in a snobby way.
"Don't worry", whispered another young companion in my other ear, "She is always like that but she is OK once you get to know her"
He was a smiling, friendly, perpetually panicked, young boy her age in identical clothes.
Noting my uneasiness and uncertainty, he offered me a weird looking gobstopper from a box he had in his hands.
"Name's Ron. Have one of these. They are all different flavours. Even horrible ones like earwax."
I picked it uot of the box and Ron smiled at me. I went to put it in my mouth and the young girl frowned and shook her head. I decided I didn't like her. I tossed it into my mouth and bit down on it.
It was....apricot flavoured...I heard a hamster-like giggle behind me coming from Ron....
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-07-2007 04:14 AM
.... ald, red & blue & I looked around but I couldn't see'im.
"Where are you?" I whispered.
"Here, I'm here." Came the answer & I realized that it was coming from the rat & I crouched down & peered into the mouth of the Great Compost Rat & completely speechless from plastic shock I looked a question at'im & he answered quick as lightnin...
"Common'in here, there's plenty of room in here & down the road a bit is a pub..."
"But I don't have any money," I tried to no avail.
"Drinks are on the house," he said while he reached for me & yanked me with him & somewhere somebody began to sing & dance like a genius & I looked back & caught a glimpse of Ron, ald, red & blue but when I tried to, I just couldn't
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-07-2007 04:52 PM
resist going back to ask the great compost rat if he had any apricot liquer.
I was really starting to get addicted to that taste.
"Er, no I don't think I can help you there", he mumbled.
"Oh wait, there is something out the back, I think".
He shuffled behind a large box that was like the ones that refrigerators usually come in
and came back with a huge...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-08-2007 05:09 AM
mirror which he held up so I could look into it & when I reached out to touch its silvery surface my fingers broke through it.
"What in the world is this?"
"Vertical water," he replied giggling.
"Can I go there?"
"Be my guest," he said & spat out Ron, ald, red & blue, "& take your friends with you. There's a much better pub in there."
"But I have no money."
"Nema Problema," he said, "they'll actually pay you to drink in that pub."
"....... .....," I said, speechless.
"& don't forget your Capri Coat."
"......," I said, still speechless & put myself into the Capri Coat & digging into its deep pockets my fingers touched something they couldn't identify at first but when I took hold of it & held it up for everyone to see we knew immediately what it was, only much, much smaller than before, it was still our own Mergatroyd.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 01-10-2007 10:15 AM
(...500th post...) "Mmm..." said the Great Compost Rat, rubbing his chin in a thoughtful sort of way. "You didn't accidentally slip that into the clothes dryer, did you?"
"Not sure," I mumbled. But a seed of a memory peeked cheekily from the darkness. "Perhaps..."
"Never mind." He offered me some of his apricot liquer. "'Ere. Very popular with the ants, this. Puts hairs on your antennae."
I was about to point out to him that I was not in fact an ant, and therefore had no antennae. But, raising my hand to my forehead, I suddenly found...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-11-2007 04:02 AM
that we were in a movie, only this one going in reverse, everything was so strange I felt like home, and I was fighting to identify the soundtrack but I were at a total loss, it was like a tsunami of impressions constantly attacking my senses and suddenly we were in a car and the highway was a really lonely place, but I was peaceful and you kept talking about a guy you had seen dancing in the desert of your imagination and how he seemed eaten by weird emotions, and teeth of flame gnawed at the back of my mind, and I had this lovely apricot taste in my mouth, but a sudden rush of incredible visions made everything so still, like after a heavy rain, and a rainbow with black towered over us, and it was weeping...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-13-2007 07:39 AM
Licorice drops.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 01-13-2007 10:51 AM
Showering over my head as though they would never stop, the shower of licorice drops planted themselves in the ground, where they sprouted to form...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-14-2007 02:35 AM
(... stems rising, shielding and protecting us from the wrath of cloned strangers.)
(... rainbow flowers delivering to us an army of soldiers that wears no other uniform but the one that shows us who they really are.)
... instantaneous
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 01-17-2007 02:06 PM
Recognition.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-17-2007 07:44 PM
No?
Mergatroyd?
Yes!
Plasma money?
No!
Recognition?
Yes, instantaneous!
Good!
Why?
Because!
Okey!
Well, then...
What?
Mergatroyd tired... Mergatroyd go home now...
Where?
Recognition mission!
Ok!
Ignition...
Ceiling & Visibility?
Ok!
Take her home
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-18-2007 05:53 PM
But she no longer remembered where home was. She'd been beguiled by visions of pyschoactive apricots and completely lost her way.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-18-2007 08:19 PM
But when everything really seemed lost beyond repair a kangaroo came gliding gracefully over the tarmac, briefly stopping beside Mergatroyd scoping her up and putting her beside her own little baby before moving on. It was over in a second and all we could think was that miracles only happen when there's a real need for them...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 01-21-2007 05:12 AM
"The end?" thought I.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-24-2007 01:00 AM
... and so it will be as Nyanchan thought.
The ongoing story has stopped in its tracks. Ong & Ing is out of work and they toss a coin to decide which one of them will go get the day's beer. Ah, yes that's all they do. Toss coin, get beer, drink beer, get fat and stupid. Is that a life? No way it ain't much of a life. But it's ours and we happen to like it like this quiet and peacefull and well, backward kinda place.
But what about Mergatroyd? And that gracefully gliding kangaroo? Will we ever learn what happened to them we sure will post it here...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-28-2007 02:22 PM
The kangaroo hopped it with Mergatroyd still comfortably ensconced in her pouch.
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 01-29-2007 10:08 PM
BUT then, a silhoutte of grusome figure appeared through the mist. It was the avatar of the almighty god Erkolos with a twisted grin over his face. He was armed with giant fist-weapons and was obviously waiting for someone.
The devil had arrived...
And he said with his grim voice...
(Where did the 'I' character go?)
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-29-2007 10:30 PM
-"Ask Ing," said Ong.
-"Ask Ong," said Ing.
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 01-30-2007 03:32 PM
(Supposing ichtims thought the avatar asked "-Where did the 'I' character go?")
Then the grusome avatar asked:
-Who is Ing and Ong?
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-30-2007 10:49 PM
They are friends in a siamese way and the back bone of the ongoing story from which they have derived their names Ong (o) Ing. So Ong & Ing is the guys that monitor the story while we who writes it have our minds elsewhere. My mind goes out to the heroes of the Telemark that foiled Hitler's plan to build a very big bad bomb.
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 01-30-2007 10:53 PM
off topic: I have an uncle that was involved with similar operations. He is considered as Norway's 007. Gunnar Sønsteby is his name.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-11-2007 06:38 PM
off topic. An uncle to me is the brother of either of my parents. My parents was born in 1939. I guess you're using the uncle term in its wider meaning. In this world is places that hasn't yet seen the sun of february 11, 2007. Somewhere it's still saturday the 10th. Somewhere it's already monday the 12th. Oh, what a queer world this is...
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 02-11-2007 06:53 PM
How did you know? Ok, this uncle is the husband of my father's sister, or...... don't really remember.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-11-2007 07:27 PM
Just thought that it had to be a very old uncle. At least 78+ y.o. or older. From looking at my memory of the picture of yourself that you posted on the thread for such matters I would put your age at 16. That means that your folks could very well be my age (42 in june this year), or something like that. My maternal grandmother married a norwegian fella in the late 1940ies; Bjarne, was his name. My my, is this off topic or not???
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 02-11-2007 08:14 PM
Off topic:
What did Ing and Ong say when my avatar asked -who is Ing and Ong?
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-11-2007 08:40 PM
Have to ask them, hold on... what? what's that? oh, wrong number, sorry, I try again, Ing? is this Ing? huh, oh, what? Ong? no... Out skiing, so, whazzup? I only got 3 bears, no, low alcohol only,...
They're out somewhere, drunk of course, making life miserable for the NTs they encounter. Clueless as to Mergatroyd's whereabouts. Don't remember right now whomever began to tell us her story, Mergatroyd's story that is. It was either Pakrat or tenaciouscj. They did however know something about The Great Compost Rat, cheese or not cheese, is as it happens, in their tow...
RE: Ongoing story... - shyguy - 02-12-2007 08:07 PM
someone choose the ending to the word
er
n
nsquare
el room
truck
{}
ship
Or the other option is.
And then it suddenly happened......
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 02-12-2007 11:51 PM
I admit to having skipped over chapter seven. Jay Gatsby, my own stoic uncle, to use the term ironically, once ing, once ong, the unchosen gumdrop. Shoes with a zipper pocket he wore, posthumous, anachronistic, red. Return at once to the camel room!
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-13-2007 01:16 AM
... and it's time for the casual observer to step in and say something brilliant.
-... eh?
-Always a joker. We've heard that one before...
-eh, chess?
-Applauds, applauds...
... and it's time for the casual observer to step out and hurry to the next ecstatic performance.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 02-18-2007 05:25 AM
And so they all hopped into the nearest spaceship and blasted off for their next adventure in hyperspace. Cliches anyone?
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-18-2007 08:48 PM
as in Björn. Or that lunatic that has taken office in the Swedish Government just recently...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 02-22-2007 09:18 AM
... with his plot to take over our world from a Scandanavian outpost, where he would set up a transmission device to summon his exiled troops from the Planet...
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 02-22-2007 03:37 PM
Rothko. Only two weeks later, in a perpendicular universe, a devious chicken was hatched.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-23-2007 07:12 PM
Its Name: Mogfelat! And the perpendicular universe was nothing but a mere figment of imagination and as strong and withstanding as an eggshell can be when attacked by sun light for an inordinate amount of time (that time we never have when we need it the most), but then... something... fell up into the sky and its name was Mogfelat; the chicken from L
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 02-28-2007 02:19 PM
L had frozen over, but Moggy had escaped after an ordinate amount of clucking.
Moggy possessed sufficient theory of mind to know that just around the next corner...
RE: Ongoing story... - Ivar T - 02-28-2007 06:03 PM
... the corner would jump at him.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-28-2007 11:45 PM
and say, "Oh, but hello there little fella, what's you're name?" and the chicken from L would answer. "My name is Mogfelat and I'm leasing the name for 99 years from a fella from Arkansas that used to have his log cabin being invaded by bears and what not. What's yours?"
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 03-01-2007 08:32 AM
"My name is Ligferrat," the corner replied. "In my language it means 'one who jumps out at extraterrestrial chickens'."
"Well," said Mog. "You are certainly living up to that name. Why do you feel such a great need to jump out at me?"
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 03-02-2007 12:28 AM
Ligferrat said nothing. Holding out his watch, which had neither hands nor numbers, the corner waited patiently.
He then slapped Mog as hard as he could, knocking him off his feet. At that moment, the chicken attained enlightenment.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-02-2007 02:23 AM
"Hey, what are you doing to me?"
"?", mimed Ligferrat.
"Go to France, corny!"
"!", mimed Ligferrat.
"Look at me!" Said Mogfelat and begun to rearrange things. "Get off my case or I'll tell Edelen about this. He'll kick and scream like you never seen nothing before."
Ligferrat looked at Mogfelat and began to sulk and whine as though he had sold the butter and lost the money.
"Ahum, mister. You've got some serious issues that you should fix before you start and let me tell you this. I'm not Krazy Kat and you're no Ignatz! You're just a corner."
Ligferrat kept whining and little bits of the wall started to come off. A wind started to blow. The sky turned crimson and the trees whispered...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-03-2007 04:06 AM
"What's that?" Ligferrat suddenly asked.
"What's what? Said Mogfelat, quickly scanning the immediate area.
"That whisper, don't you hear it?"
"Oh, that whisper, well mate, that's the trees you know. It's season."
"Season?" Echoed Ligferrat and fell to the ground.
"Hm, you're as small as me mate."
Ligferrat shuddered as an icy wind came down from the skies and scattered the dust and debris off of him.
"You want to know a secret?"
"Uhu."
"There's no easy way to say this but I am actually not a chicken."
"But you look like a chicken."
"Are you sure?"
"Er, no."
"Why's that?"
"Truth is that I've never seen a chicken before."
"Well, there you go."
"So what are you if you're no chicken?
"I'm Mogfelat, Quing of the Purple People."
"Sorry I slapped you, don't know what came over me." Said Ligferrat and started to weep.
"Oh, come on mate, don't weep over that, far as I'm concerned it never happened. Here you go, blow your nose." Said Mogfelat and fished up a hanky. Ligferrat reached up and took the hanky and put it to his nose and blew the better part of its contents into it.
"Was that nice or was it?"
"I feel like a youngster again and my, my, isn't that a good feeling."
"Great! Now, let's get going."
And so it went. Mogfelat and Ligferrat teamed up and as time went they became like one
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 03-03-2007 04:48 AM
million other incompatible pairs you've heard about. Mogfelat developed sharp edges and Ligferrat began pecking distractedly at his dinner.
"Ligferrat", Mog said, "its time we parted."
Ligferrat who had become quite hard of hearing, cheered up immediately. "Yes, indeed" said Ligferrat, opening the liquor cabinet and turning up the music, "it has been such a long time since we partied!"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-06-2007 08:10 PM
(The need to quote Lawrence Ferlinghetti overwhelms me... but then it disappears entirely, resulting in this unfinished) Thought Mogfelat and Ligferrat simultaneous at the same time. (strange, I feel like Ligferrat) Thought Ligferrat. () Thought... and was lost 55.000 feet above Tokyo, or was it Kyoto? Asked,. Is that all you want? Answers? No, Bushido, Ka Wa Iii or Kawai. (The need to quote Spaghetti overwhelms me... but then it disappears entirely, resulting in this unfinished) Thoughts on Klee, Mondrian and Artur Bispo do Rosario
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 03-07-2007 02:16 AM
Strangely it sounded more like Frank O'Hara in Mogfelat's mind. Perhaps because someone had posted a basalt nearby. But then Mother came home unexpectedly from the club, carrying with her sandpaper and snow peas,and said the worst thing she could have said.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 03-07-2007 10:38 AM
which was, "Come on and set the table. We're having the Purple People Eater over for dinner."
"Aargh!" screamed Mogfelat.
"Don't worry," Ligferrat whispered in his ear.
"Don't worry?!?!?! But... You heard her!!"
"Don't worry, I said." Ligferrat winked. "What I haven't told you yet is, I'm not really a corner."
Mogfelat stared. His face had paled to an odd shade of lilac.
"Not really a corner?"
"No," replied Ligferrat. "Don't tell your mother, but I'm here in disguise. I'm really the chief of the tribe of Purple People Eater Hunters."
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-09-2007 03:28 PM
... simultaneous somewhere in the flatlands unhinged doors roam with the dodo's of the past and the horizon is a perfect circle; this is ground zero; this is the exact spot where the casual observer came up from the skies and set down feets and began to walk life into the world; to make real what was not; to be the androgynous god; the perfect sex; the ever present maker of beauty; the first and the last...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-19-2007 05:43 PM
A whoosh was heard as the purple people eater almost fell into the dining room and Ligferrat was all mouth, teeth and hunger; the epitome of war. Mogfelat sat back in a corner and watched as Ligferrat consumed every last bit of the purple people eater and stood up and applauded when it was over. And only the next moment Mother was back with the tray of food which she set on the table.
"Time to eat now, boys! Btw, where's the guest?"
"Er, she came and went." Said Ligferrat.
"Oh!" said Mother," visibly 50% disappointed and 50% relieved. "Well, she's always been a little peculiar."
"Let's dig in then!" Said Mogfelat, uncornering himself, strolling up to the table, sitting down facing Ligferrat who then let out a belch that was heard widely around and left people wandering around searching for its origin.
"Lucky me," said Mogfelat and removed his ear protection equipment.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-20-2007 03:35 AM
It just dawned on me that my posts almost always have ends. How embarassing. Here's something with no end.
"Lucky me," said Mogfelat and started to remove his ear protection equipment because now he couldn't
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 03-20-2007 06:33 AM
wait to find out what was for dinner (Mogfelat didn't care for purple people eater and snow pea casserole himself) and Mother said that thing he hoped she never would, 49% joking but 51% dead serious,
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 03-25-2007 04:02 AM
Chicken. Chicken with Corner Sauce.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 04-13-2007 05:56 AM
"But Mother! You wouldn't!" Lig & Mog gasped, 100% shocked. However, the sound of Mother sharpening the carving knives drowned out their pathetic protests.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 04-15-2007 04:58 AM
The camera is now at last moving in from the garden and into the house, it takes us through a darkened hallway, peeks into an empty dining hall, moves on to the brightly lit kitchen where it pans around before it focuses on the butcher block that sits in the very center of this kitchen of kitchen's and what do we see on the block but the cut up bits of; 1. Mogfelat & Ligferrat; 2. Mogfelat & Mother; 3. Ligferrat & Mother; 4. Mother; 5. Ligferrat; 6. Mogfelat; 7. All three of them; 8. None of them; 9.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 04-21-2007 12:27 AM
9. Nothing "in the shape of burnt matches"?
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 04-25-2007 09:01 PM
10. Ichtms, Nyanchan, Rhetorical and Erkolos
RE: Ongoing story... - Derenoc - 04-26-2007 08:41 PM
A man walks down a street.
A man turns left.
A man is standing still.
A man is looking at a house.
A man is hellishly surprised as The Gruesome Avatar Of Erkolos, a Mole with some kind of crown, a giant hamster chewing apricots.
A man gets up
A man is once again toppled over, this time by various bits and pieces that should, or shouldn't, be moving, amongst them a fridge painted in rather psychedelic patterns scrambling along adding it's very own flair of pandemonium (and cheese) to the local atmosphere, which had already just about had it with surreal oddities for one day.
A man gets up, once again.
A man rights his tie.
A man looks at the house, at the door, and at the weird scene playing out in the kitchen.
What he saw was...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 04-26-2007 10:02 PM
... good, joyous and it was laughing but what was it? Where had he seen this before? What had he been doing then? Oh, right... installing some pipes, and he had heard something and looked around to see, but there was nothing there. Had there ever been? He didn't know. Couldn't say. Didn't want to guess. No, not again! Not Again! Not now! Maybe later. Somewhere off to the side of a road on a grassy, but shaded, area. A few beers. Oh, yes. Cold beers!!! Yes! Now he knew what was in the kitchen; Cornad, the human tornado and he
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 04-29-2007 11:21 AM
...ate his own toes.
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 04-29-2007 04:29 PM
He had meant to eat toast, but his hearing was not what it used to be.
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 04-29-2007 04:52 PM
Ooh, this is rather chewy. It's supposed to be crunchy and crusty.
RE: Ongoing story... - Batman55 - 05-01-2007 10:29 AM
He didn't really eat his own toes, but chewed on them voraciously. Anyhow, he goes to the state store and buys a bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon whiskey, and goes back home. He sets the bottle down on the table and fills a shot glass full of it. Before he downs the shot, he hears somebody knocking on his chamber door...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 05-02-2007 09:06 AM
...A deep, echoing boom on the hollow wood.
"Come in," he says.
The door creaks open on hinges so rusty that he can see the dark leaking brown in between them. So much that he can feel the tension of the person trying to open it.
He holds his breath, waiting...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-03-2007 01:25 AM
Fingers appear in the crack... The noise is deafening but discernable amongst it is "Ingts Imnt Corned Beaf, Imnt Cornad, Imst Quirinus"... More fingers appear in the crack, An explosion, A queer device, Noise of feet rushing through a narrow hall, It is red, NO, It es rid, NO, Etsi dir, NO...
Airplanes roar...
More and more fingers appear in the crack... He can't hold his breath anylonger. He puts it down on the x and goes to
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-09-2007 07:51 AM
answer the phone... Hello, he says into the mouth piece... He hears 99% gush of air and 1% something voice-like and straining his ear to magnificent powers he hears the faintest chit chat he has ever heard...
-Well, what do you hear mate?
-Oh, sorry, he says a little bar-assed. It's Mog & Lig, they're turned into rockets and they're high above the earth... Sorry, they have turned into 1 rocket and it has left felats + ferrats behind somewhere in the athmosphere... They're just testing the rocket... Mog & Lig is no more, they've blended into one... What? What's that you're saying... static multi-colored noise... Iggolm??? Oh, it's...
-Unknown Rocket in the south hemisphere! This is Houston calling. Identify yourself.
-Iggolm calling Houston, do you copy?
-Houston here; identify yourself!
-Iggolm here. We are leaving earth once and for all and we're heading toward a bright future
-Houston here; but we need you down here, you're our hero...
-Iggolm here. Just kidding, I'm just testing my new rocket. See you when I see you, Houston...
-Houston here; Ok, over & out.
In a shady place off off off, Cornad is spying on a 1-eyed tree that seem up to something that
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 05-09-2007 08:46 AM
will not turn out well.
Meanwhile, Iggolm argues with itself: You are nothing but a chicken, a cornered little chicken.
Itself: ferratferratferrat
Itself: I miss those parts, too, but you have to get over it.
Itself: felatfelatfelatfelat
Iggolm: I am so very unhappy since we merged
Iggolm: It's no picnic for me either
Itself: Did you bring
Itself: the ketchup
Iggolm: the catsup
Itself and Itself (simultaneously) THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL IT!!!
Iggolma: I'm going to sleep now
Iggolms: who the heck are you?
Iggolma: I'm your feminine side. Now shut the hell up and go to sleep!
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-12-2007 01:19 PM
Intermission. The casual observer enters the stage fiddling with a bunch of papers, gets tangled in some cables and looses his footing, falling on hands and knees while papers fly away but the audience has seen it before. He gets up, confused, bare-assed but oblivious to the spectacle he's making.
Finally at the microphone, papers sorted, he opens his mouth and yawns...
-"Sorry", he clears his throat and spits on the sawdust floor. "Ladies & Gentlemen! There has been complaints about the recent twists in this, what shall I call it, drama... Yes! A drama it is. Hm, there have been a steady stream of characters appearing rather haphazardly throughout the production, myself included. And I would like to adress the writers that introduced us to the enigmatic Mogfelat and the masterful Ligferrat, aka Mog & Lig; mainly "ichtms" and "nyanchan". I don't really... Really know; Ahum, yes. Mr. ichtms; I've received some anonymous messages from quote, concerned citizens of nation X, unquote, that have been of a very foul unclean language laden with expressions that I suspect could only be described as obscenities and their point of concern being the apparent and alarming lack of logic and proportion, shown in segments by Mr. ichtms. They say quote, Wea will not hesetat to take acton againts this pore exuse fore a wrighter if the person dosn't stop poluting our fign Engish langage (sic), unquote, and I am now appealing to you, Mr. ichtms. Please, better yourself by thinking twice before you add new contents to the drama and... Yes, no! Oh, right. Ms. nyanchan! I have recieved one extremely illiterate note on your use of certain words that I'm not going to comment on as it is apparent that the writer is out of their mind or have a very poor vision... Yes, well, about the words... The words in question all begin with the letter "z", so if you could have that in mind so to say, and possibly find alternatives, that would be fine..."
A few minutes later.
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 05-12-2007 06:36 PM
caca caca caca caca caca
never mind
I am in the wrong theatre...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-15-2007 02:37 PM
Now getting back to the story, we see a big cloud of dust in the distance. But wait, it seems to be getting closer and closer....
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-16-2007 07:58 PM
and it's getting closer fast as eeeeuuuuuwwwwWWWMMBiii... Godness Grace! It's Cornad! That flatbed truck! I've seen it before. I know it. It's Hoffmans truck!!! And Mog & Lig on tow on rollerblades. They must be gunning for the world record in
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-18-2007 09:29 AM
Blade-Rocketing... Both Mog and Lig were anticipating a long stone ramp that was just beginning to appear amid the mist in the Dell ahead...
Side note: Ramp constructed by Beammeup from the remains of a recently destroyed nearby castle, results of a: Beam me down event (Wont miss the castle... they have several over there in the UK).
The tethers were tight and vibrating between gripped hands, and Conrads truck that was quickly gaining speed. As they wildly swayed to and fro, both were smiling with raucous joy; for they knew it was this duo, made of them, that would break the record.
As they reached the ramp, their Blades were fire-red with heat from spinning speeds in excess of 7 to the seventh. Though the ramp was a gentle 7-degree incline for 77, it ended with an abrupt change in direction at the top. A short arc presented a climatic 77- degree-angle fling aimed towards a dark eastern sky; Landing them, not only with the record...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-18-2007 12:10 PM
(Side note: Flunked writing 101... somebody please put a dash between "gripped hands," and erase the comma...) Phittt....
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-19-2007 10:55 AM
... Landing them separated by distances vast in geography, and in Time...
They left the ramp in an aura of flowing blue/violet light; Seconds after, the eastern-sky lit-up with a thunderous flash. The jolt separated Mog and Lig during their accent towards their quest: a glowing, undulating gaseous-ring floating high in the sky. Mog and Lig were spinning out of balance as they approached, and each lunged wildly to regain stability. Their trajectory now askew, fleeting thoughts of failure loomed with each.
As the sounds of rumbling thunder faded, they neared the entrance to an unexplored world they wanted to share together. Lig, nimble, slowed and was able to adjust as the moment of entry neared; she could see success before her, growing in size... Mog, still spinning, and ahead of Lig now, careened off the outer edge of the ring, spiraling downward...
Another thunderous flash shook the landscape as Lig entered the ring.
Mog regained control and was able to deploy his large chute to safely land where he had begun...
Meanwhile, Lig...
(time for me to go get serious with the DX thread... Saw my doc today)...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 05-20-2007 10:59 AM
...looked down with a cry of alarm and spied a trail of orange flame eminating from his blades. "Yegads! How did that happen?!"
He was spinning. Spinning like wind in a funnel and losing all hope of escape, when...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-20-2007 05:39 PM
Weird Al reappeared, grinning maniacally and singing "Everything You Know Is Wrong".
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-21-2007 08:41 AM
(The Play resumes as the chatter from the peanut-gallery subsides...)
...a thunderous explosion announced HIS exit from tunnel that he had just entered moments before... (Side note: This author thought he was a she... I should have read earlier excerpts...
)Meanwhile Mog (a he I assume...), on the ground and still dazed from his spinning decent, heard a distant faint-clap of thunder. He looked to the east with questioning eyes. Rising to his feet, he was distracted by the sound of Hoffmans truck rumbling in the distance and headed in his direction. Mog started yelling: Conrad, Conrad!!! A shout came from the cockpit as Conrad pulled up: What happened?!.
I dont know! ... Mog desperately asked: When will the next portal opening occur?
©On the Winter Solstice, yet a fortnight away
(M)Will we be ready?
© yes, though the coordinates will change, Im certain a new ramp can be constructed by then (peanut-gallery: Lets hope it wont cost us another Castle...).
Lig... (I so want Lig to be a her...) also dazed by his landing, took a few minutes to regain full awareness of his surroundings. (Unknown to Lig is that we are now 77 years in the future.) As Lig looks around he feels the air is thin, and is slightly gasping for breath. Finds himself sitting in the middle of an open pasture full of tall green grass, on a warm summer day, with bright sunshine and a sky that is a deep hue of blue with no clouds; a slight breeze touches her presence (Im changing him to a her. Hah! A novel needs the romance element if anyone is going to read it!!!).
Several house-sized glass domes are in the distance, located in a Dell that looks very much like the one she left behind 77 years ago. She stood up and began walking towards them...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-21-2007 03:30 PM
But then she tripped over a large red and yellow and white mushroom that sprang out of the ground just that moment.
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-21-2007 07:09 PM
(The peanut-gallery, now getting bored with the pace of the play was throwing rotten red and yellow mushrooms at the stage...
Actress Lig, recovering from her fall, grabbed the rotten declaration and chucked it back to the noisy balcony...
The Stage Manager, with script-changes to quell in hand, was frantically running about when... whooahhhh-kr-thud....slipped on a mushroom and was knocked unconscious...)
The play resumes later...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-22-2007 05:00 PM
With the reappearance of Weird Al, who put down his piano accordion for a moment to help Lig to her feet. "Hey, I wrote a new song just for you", he said smilingly, "It goes like this...". He reached down to pick up his piano accordian only to find Mog had run off with it and was quickly fading into the distance.
"Aw rats!" he exclaimed in complete exasperation - "There's always got to be one person who doesn't appreciate my wonderful polkas! Oh,and that squeeze Box cost serious pazoola".
"Never mind", replied Lig - "He's kind of a friend of mine. I'll simply tell him I won't be his friend any more if he doesn't give it back".
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-22-2007 06:14 PM
The Stage Manager, still unconscious...
Weird Al steps forward to assure the audience that the Play will resume shortly...
Actor Mog returned after a few minutes thinking it was time for his performance in Seventh Act, exclaiming he was obsessed and fascinated with a piano that one could strap to their person... and suggested a crowd-quelling tune while everyone was waiting for the stage manager to wake... though he knew not a single polka tune appropriate for the occasion...
Fortunately, there was a nearby PC connected to the Internet. A quick search produced: Happy music for Happy People in several languages: http://www.polkacatalog.com
Still without a clue, he turned to....
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-22-2007 07:37 PM
Wierd AL.... as Weird Al exclaims: You dont know who I am?!
"Ahhh... a polka guy.... right?"
"Wrong!"
"Oh..."says Actor Mog, with a poised daft quality. "Give me a minute to search the internet again..."
"Oops...didnt have a clue... What track from: Straight Outta Lynwood would the audience like to hear...?"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-22-2007 08:19 PM
Part 1 through 101 of The Trash Compactor (eating through Straight Outta Lynwood) Blues...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-22-2007 09:12 PM
Transmission Ooo, Molly is no longer visible but is that a cosy cat or not? Mymy!!!
-"A Me Up is better than 10 Down!" said a transient voice.
-"A Me Up is better than 10 Down?" said Beammeup or son, deux trois
-"Huppup Cy Ugly Motostosorio...!" said a monoteistic 2x2x2
-"Drab clots unhinged Romeo et Juliet...!" said several
-"Now, wtf are you doing here!!! GTFO of here with your literature
Off Season Still no Molly in vision. Tonight's the Night...
We see a stage stripped of scenography, curtains, actors whatever... It sits there in all of its dullities (want to scream out Fervent Optical Truths laden with hints of a third gender!), chit-chat, An Ominous-Looking Container allegedly containing cacao , A red glob hangs in midair and one has to be either insane or just not there to even remotely connect this with the obvious...
Yes! Right! A Stage! That's Cool! In! Now! On! Going! But the stage is not the important thing to look at here. It's about how you look at the whole room where you are at the moment that is the important thing.
Just think about it for a moment...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-22-2007 09:19 PM
Does it feel good to think about it??? AaWw Ii Aaii!!![/color]
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-23-2007 01:26 PM
"Oh no!" wails Weird Al in utter despair, "how can I sing my song without my piano accordion?"
"Maybe you can improvise somehow" replied Mog with an evil sneer.
"Moi?"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-24-2007 04:58 AM
-"Moi! Ji pI!"
And the world could at last draw a big sigh of relief as Weird Al Jankovic Un-Weird-Al-Jankoviced himself and quickly faded into the woodwork. That is real tiredness - Weird Al Jankovic got tired of himself. He's not around anymore. He can't be beamed anywhere. There's no such thing as to be beamed from nowhere to somewhere. Res Ipsa Loquitor!
-"Hey, what shall we do with this accordion, btw?" Inquired Mog philosophically.
-"Yeah, and all this vaudeville paraphernalia?" Echoed Lig, physically shifting.
-"We could start a Circus!" mused Cornad, dreamily phasing.
Omission Sequenze Un-Winding: CaCaphony.
Several saw it. Everyone remembered it. Not everyone was there. It was hilarious. It kicked in the right places. Sang like a bird. Straight dope right through.
Glasses, misty from the mildew and the cool breeze, ready. Out on the turf, racing the missiles, Lig & Mog communicate primarily by altering the brightness in the colored tail lights. They bob around like lightning rods, coated in deep water colors. They stray like glimmering bitches, driving a red composition of comfort and stability, momentarily fusing in a blend of a true nature where the genders have evolved and become one that is much stronger and can easier confront or work through the hardships that life deals you on a daily basis... (trailing off in yet another one of these odd... (that one trailing off too and I don't really know what is happening here or beyond some point that I may have passed already, it wouldn't be a surprise, to say the least...
Motor's going fine. They spin around in wider and wider circles. Blades Purring Just Fine, Yes! Sir!
Fusion Ignition Mission
Going very abruptly down but in a humorous light, that blows up in a storm that race across the sky emptying it of color so the sun can shine through and really give us the chance to see it all:
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-24-2007 12:17 PM
Crashing and burning.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-25-2007 01:49 AM
Jangling and dangling but with the basic trajectory still intact... (that would be enough to identify every last one of these high class butcherers)
An ominous glimpse at the sky state the obvious... the ghost face of Weird Al Jankovic is watching over
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 05-25-2007 01:09 PM
Christmas at Ground Zero. A ghostly voice can still be heard singing the chorus "it's Christmas at ground zero....".
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-28-2007 01:49 AM
... while far away in the belly of an old aircraft things are really looking bleak. That engine doesn't feel good!!!
-"We need a mechanic down here asap!"
... simultaneous at a mountain site quite close, we've heard the ominous noise of an appoaching airplane. The open wound of its engine slowly bleeding out a crackling-swirling-roaring-mad-hot-hyper-sound that stays within you far longer than any ordinary sound. It's digging into decades of memories, broken hyper-links ripped from the womb of this insane story; this insane; this mad finger that keep stabbing down on the key-pad...
-"OMG! IT'S LOOSE..."
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 05-28-2007 06:18 PM
Yes, it was Weird Al and he was quite angry. Not only had his evil twin Albert Jankovic been taken out but he'd taken his favourite accordian with him. That was part of the reason he was the evil twin - he was always stealing things that belonged to his brother and losing or wrecking them.
He was the only survivor of the plane crash as he had put his tray table in the upright position as instructed. Now he was in Albuquerque and trying to find his bearings.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 05-30-2007 01:23 PM
Somewhat unsteadily he got to his feet, dusted himself off, checked for contusions, and started looking for signs of civilisation.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-31-2007 03:53 AM
A few hours later when Al had understand that there wasn't any signs of civilisation to be found around this god forsaken place. He sat down and drew a big sigh of relief. It meant that there wouldn't be any disturbance so in a nearby crevice he lay large amounts of dried grass. When he thought that he'd amassed enough he stripped down to undies and t-shirt before he crawled into the crevice and snuggled up in a foetal position and only a few minutes later he was sound asleep; dreaming of
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 05-31-2007 06:50 AM
a thousand twelve foot accordions all performing a ritualised rendition of Zorba's dance, while fiery shadows leapt and heaved upon the cavern walls.
And as they danced, every character to have come and gone in the amorphous realm of the Ongoing Story paraded before him, spraying confetti around like so many broken rainbows.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 06-03-2007 02:13 PM
"Oh man!", he exclaimed, :"This is one serious trip!".
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 06-03-2007 05:47 PM
The rare member of the "are you serious?" gently drift across the late afternoon landscape formation
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 06-11-2007 07:49 AM
And like a wisp of smoke slowly disappears into the air.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 06-24-2007 02:50 AM
But returns angrily like a lethal WASP that BZZZZ (Great to be here again after all these cracks in the access!!!) and try to to to to be so so to be so so so BIG about it as Posh-E-BELL without having so much as the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the (great one-finger-rhytm) the the the the the the the the the the the the beginning of some serious
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 06-26-2007 01:16 PM
stomping.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 06-28-2007 07:33 AM
Just when the stomping of a thousand heavy booted feet rises almost to unbearable heights, the great voice of Deus cries from the sky. "Confundus et perturbatus sum!"
"What?" shouted Al.
"I am confounded and confused!" the voice of Deus shouted. "Is that a clarification?"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 06-28-2007 10:22 PM
"Woohow, it sure is!" shouted Al in blind unison with the terrible ejaculate of
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 07-05-2007 04:26 AM
aeons of ignorance caterpillars and against a back-drop of greenish, bantam weight liars weilding pumpkin spelled lightning bulbs at random speed, there was a slight tremble giving strenght and hope to that awful Al, shouting ejectorially in-consistent "conspiracy and flag poles!" and... and... and it is intimidating, to say the least.
"Oh, I'm glad so..." echoed Deus; post machina
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 07-11-2007 07:01 AM
Darn it all! Just when I thought I was the only g-g-g-g-odd...Is that the silly bystander again, or...Mogfelat...is it you?
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 07-15-2007 11:21 AM
"yes... I think, think so... I feel so oddly... flat and narrow... as if the talf-worran dna has begun to mani©fest itself... brmb?"
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 07-18-2007 09:10 AM
"Well then. We'd better get you checked out, methinks."
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 07-23-2007 10:16 PM
"Ya really think that's necessary? Maybe it'll get better /---/ some paper clips..."
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 08-05-2007 02:34 PM
But it didn't get better. It only got worse. He found he was now transformed into a 4 foot long cockroach. The only advantage to this was when he found he could fly...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 08-06-2007 09:57 AM
...and that his outer shell glistened blackly in the moonlight.
"Wings," thinks he. "How peculiar, for one such as me to have wings! Well, at least now I can survive a nuclear winter."
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 08-08-2007 05:38 AM
...and then a distant voice: "Are roaches dangerous?"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 08-08-2007 06:40 PM
"Me? Dangerous? Eh, get outta here," e says...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-03-2007 03:47 PM
Many a day and many a night went by and this new form of mine became more and more comfortable as the water rose around me, and I rolled over on my back just in time for the water to carry me away so gently, so soothing and a tree that had fallen over a gully became like a bridge and I passed under it and everything was just
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 09-04-2007 11:03 AM
peachy, until...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 09-05-2007 07:00 AM
I saw the dirty grey shadow of a tornado on the horizon.
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 09-07-2007 11:56 PM
Heading west.... in the direction of an oncoming tornado heading east! of identical shape and speed except for a stark contrast -- clean white spinning aura -- as they approached each other ...
RE: Ongoing story... - littlem - 09-08-2007 01:36 AM
....an alien spaceship appeared. The wizened green alien commander peered at the vision screen and muttered "looks like we picked a badtime for this visit, we're going to have to......"
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 09-08-2007 03:06 AM
....wait!... Whats that motion? The commander was looking again at the vision screen, which was indicating a commotion of motion from a speck in the river just a mile from the commotion of in-motion twisting funnels.Tune your sound-sensor to that spec Radar!--ssstps spt zzzzpspsptpt... Got it!...
Voice from the spec: Whats all the commotion an in-motion wriggly being on floating wings says to the spaceship in motion, which was dodging more commotion.... Its time for the show!!!!. This happens every time this year near the equinox!!!!. Park your spaceship dear Alien, and get ready for the show!!!!
More 4 winged-ones started appearing out of the shadows near the bank of the river...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-11-2007 07:22 AM
(... all in pursuit of happiness and a fist full of dollarbills withdrawn from the bank adjacent to the nearby shadows)
The sky lit up on a whim: N r the crown of creation.
-"Whatski thistski??" hiccupped Ignatius the Igniter.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-14-2007 10:09 AM
-"This? Well, it's a safety match... er, shouldn't you know that?"
-"Mm... but I was thinking of
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-14-2007 10:25 AM
a sunny holiday because
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-14-2007 10:58 AM
i just love to sit in a cosy chair with coffee and (vacuum cleaners = a kind of cookie), a good book, a note book, some cross word puzzles + a large amount of cool water) and
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-14-2007 11:02 AM
glass of red wine and
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-14-2007 12:25 PM
a hole in the ground to pour the bloody looking liquid into."
-"Oh, that's how you
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-14-2007 12:28 PM
spend the things you bought from the money you receive from the state!" said
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-14-2007 01:23 PM
the next person who writes here.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-14-2007 02:19 PM
...here.
-"Adhere to Vishnu!" said the catapult with stone letters.
-"Hey, watch those butterflies!" said the mayor of New Orleans.
-"Phfp!" said Katrina and the Waves.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-14-2007 02:21 PM
Katrina wawed to the major and smiled.
Listen,she said.
You should really know that
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 12:42 AM
People have forgot this place.
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 09-15-2007 07:39 AM
But down the dusty corridors, a sound of thudding footfalls could be heard, gradually getting closer and closer.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 10:45 AM
It turned out to be the sound of drums.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 11:02 AM
Their was a big festival in town and the atmosphere got better and better.Fireworks and partyhats.No one expected
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 11:15 AM
This advent that came oh so sudden....The whole of europe was
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 01:23 PM
By a little
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-15-2007 03:33 PM
tiny fragment, caught up in celebrating the return of the Great Compost Rat + the entourage of more or less brilliant characters, such as the savant garde duo of Mogfelat/Ligferrat ceaselessly spreading roman sentences to fight off the dark chocolat poets of
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-15-2007 05:11 PM
space
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-17-2007 10:24 AM
.
The rain fell down in the dark green forest and the air was a bit cold but not to much and the smell of autmn was deliciously fresh, clean and restorative.
RE: Ongoing story... - Bella - 09-17-2007 11:33 AM
Through the trees, a long snouted dragon flew, turning sideways and uttering little 'woo's and 'woah's as she barely scraped through the gaps. She sniffed the air, sighed and then hit a tree.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-17-2007 11:35 AM
A nurse came running towards her.
Have you got an aspirin,asked the dragon.
RE: Ongoing story... - Bella - 09-17-2007 11:48 AM
"I'm terribly sorry, but we're all out of stock. I've just been to see some concussed penguins. So many shopping centres popping up these days and in such inconvenient places". The nurse shook her head and tisk tisked, as the dragon covered it's ears and groaned. "Oh my my.. I think I do have something after all.. "
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-17-2007 11:55 AM
"Here you go."
She gave him a purple little pill with distinktive taste she got from an alien in SL.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-17-2007 12:01 PM
The dragon slowly lifted his head and wipered "thank you" while the tears dripped rapidly down his cute little face and his body shivered.
RE: Ongoing story... - Bella - 09-19-2007 10:36 AM
Emmy Wrote:
"Here you go."
She gave him a purple little pill with distinktive taste she got from an alien in SL.
She gave him a purple little pill with distinktive taste she got from an alien in SL.
Ooo... does SL stand for Second Life? I can't think of what else it might stand for.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 09-19-2007 10:18 PM
The dragon took of and flew in to the woods and landed upon a rainbow nearby a museum.
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 09-20-2007 03:35 PM
"Well, that was ironic," she said, knowing perfectly well that it wasn't. She felt a little bad for it, sort of like an ice cream headache, but from tofu instead. And it wasn't in her head, it was in her fingernail.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 09-23-2007 12:57 PM
And man that fingernail was giving her gyp! She couldn't even chew it off because her mum had painted it with stop and grow to stop her from gnawing on it.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 09-30-2007 09:08 AM
And she knew full well that with the first taste of stop and grow, she would turn into...
RE: Ongoing story... - Tigger_the_Wing - 09-30-2007 10:44 AM
.... an elephant. But that wasn't all.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 09-30-2007 02:34 PM
She would grow oodles of hot pink curly fur all over her body.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-30-2007 03:14 PM
That would give Gilette a headache so amorph that the inc. would implode like a
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 09-30-2007 04:08 PM
white balloon.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 10:26 AM
Non of all this really matters because
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-02-2007 10:28 AM
it was all a dream.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 10:31 AM
Dreams are nice but the reality is
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 10-02-2007 05:00 PM
better by far, especially when it is an alternate reality.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-02-2007 08:03 PM
A few miles away in a non so whitish shade of pale, the museum yawned and threw in the towel and went on vacation for an indefinite period of
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 08:43 PM
time.Suddenly the rainbow
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 09:10 PM
turned invisible.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-02-2007 09:45 PM
. and forgot the pot of gold at its end and along one of those mysterious roads came a distant fifth cousin of Weird Al tip-toeing like a figure of speech, got tired of, and sat down on the pot of gold, and burned his behind on the hot of gold, and when he jumped up and looked down, there was no down (sorry folks, that was a sheep one) but several
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 09:53 PM
sheeps was talking to the others as they ate green grass in a mounten and the sound of a running river calmed the head of
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-02-2007 10:02 PM
tired people from down town who had their head full of mathmatics and their body full of food with poison from animal nutritions and polluted rain.
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 10-05-2007 05:31 AM
Mogfelat stumbled into the diner and ordered a large quadratic equation with a side of root beer flavored poison, light on the poison, extra whipped cream. "This is not F-ing Starbucks", the owner barked.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-05-2007 10:50 AM
"Oh I see" sighed Mogelfat. He stood there for a moment, shook his head to collect his thoughts and then snarled "Call yourself a coffee shop? You're a poor excuse for a coffee shop!".
"I've got news for you buster and it's all bad!" - shot back the owner even more gruffly than before.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-05-2007 11:13 AM
In the toilet a red lipstick and black mascara was put on a face of a winner of the worlds most pretty miss-contest in some year a long time ago wispering to the Man In The Mirror,a person determent to reflect her personallity at all times.
"Mirror,mirror on the wall,who the prettiest of us all...?"
The woman was naturally proud,tried to think of her self as a queen of her own life,treat herself with the respect she felt she needed.
It was a late saturday night and this woman had not been drinking soda tonight...she was conserned about her looks,and didnt share a single thought to the inner beauty.
She herd the man in the mirror answerd:Erhm...well,erh...Snowhite.
-Snowhite?
Who is that?
The mirror answerd The girl you met in cyberspace today.
The woman got green of jealousy,rage and dissapointment.
Her crown liturally fell of her head and down on the floor,breaking into peaces.
With the mascara dripping down her face like stripes on a sebra, red nose and baggy eyes,she felt old and ugly.
Thew Queen had lost her crown,the only thing she had left,her faith in her self.
Her life was like...gone,there was nothing left whatsoever.
Im gonna be the queen of the night she wispered chidishly;
Snowhite has her whole life to dance and have fun.
She wiped the tears from her eyes,went back to the crowd were she herd the coment about the Spaceburger and the heartbroken Queen smiled to Snowhite and offered her her some fruit-looking stuff to buy instead...
Thats right,Ill have an apple instead, said the girl ,who presented herself as Snowhite(Cybernick).
She took a bite of the the deliciously tempting fresh apple(dipped in poison).
She got a bit dizzy.
Get me out of here,she said confused.
The Queen ordered a taxi for snowhite and told the driver to take her to a good club,the driver did so and helped her out on the street,into a car and drove her to the best nightclub around.
Load noises and and bright lights did not impress her at all.
Im tired,said Snowhite.
She felt more and more drowsy and fell down on the floor.
Oh nooo!
She was given an poisoned apple,not an usuall apple....
Seven strange-looking dwarfs,or whatever they were, desided to take her home ,helping her to sleep the toxic out.
However,the Queen,mad of jealosy, had confiscated her wallet,her map,her vica,it was all gone and Snowhite was all helpless in this big jungle of a town.
The dwarfs made sure she was ok and tried to think of a solution as they were all gentleman of good reputation.
When Snowhite woke up she felt ashamed,still buzzy and confused.
Thats not like me,she thought.
The place was messy,as the dwarfs were not the best housekeepers around.
She sterted to clean and wipe, cook and iron....
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-07-2007 12:43 PM
"Hey, what do you think you're doing, get back into bed!" yelled a grumpy sounding man "We like our mess just fine!".
"Ohhh!" cried Snowhite "and I just wanted to heeeelllppp!"
"Aw, don't cry", soothed another of the little men "Don't listen to him, he's always Grumpy".
"That's my name - don't wear it out!", grumbled the grumpy man.
"Now, now, let's all calm ourselves down" rumbled another little man.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-07-2007 01:22 PM
then a lightbulb lighted up for Snowwhite, and another, and another lightbulb lighted up, lighted up for Snowwhite and when seven lightbulbs lighted up her mind she started running for her life for the dwarfs wasn't really dwarfs, they were the seven mortal sins and they had an agenda that was
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-07-2007 09:06 PM
allmost unknown even for them selfs as it was so complicated
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-07-2007 09:15 PM
to understand why there were seven sins in one house that were so kind to her...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-07-2007 10:12 PM
She realalised they were not sins afterall,but anyway,she could not leave the house.
She started to knit but after a hvile she got bored and would have gone on the internet but that was not evented yet since time is relative and she wished to get back in time,so she made food instead when the dwarfs were out of the house.
Why do I have to stay indors,she thought.
She went out of the house.
That was refreshing.
When she come out on the road she spotted an indian restaurant.
She went inside and the lights were dimmed down low and there was frankinsence in the air and indian music,pictures,smell,and a marvelous atmosphere filled the room.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-07-2007 11:09 PM
Snowhite realized that she did still not have her visa and left the resturant dissapointed.
She went back to her house and the dvarfs had returned.
Were have you been,youll get a cold!
Snowhite put a scarf around her neck.
It was 30 degreees outside and she started to sweat.
30 days later Snowhite was bored.
She read a scientific magazine but the science had rather pore quality in theese old days.
Have you looked out of the window lately, asked one of the dwarfs.
Yes,and we think its time for you to take a walk,said the dvarf.
A long walk.
No,I dont like to walk,said Snowhite.
Well then,take a ride on the horse.
Neah,dont like to ride.
Snowhite turned the page in her magazine.
silence.
Very well,then,Ill drive you to where ever you need to go...
Im sure you would like to look around for your own place to stay,a cozy little hut somewhere?
Snowhite started to think.
Could this be one of those famous hints?
No,im just getting paranoid she laughed,and shrugged it of.
Ney,I shall look for a country residence when time is ready.
The dwarf turned red.
GET OUT!!!
he yelled.
Ueah!Snowhite turned pale.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-07-2007 11:46 PM
She went out in the wood,looking for a place to stay.
Suddenly a castle turned up,and Snowite desided that it was good enough for her.
She moved her science-mags and her wigs and thyrosaurus-rexus-statue-collection in to the castle and sat down by the window to relax.She realized she had forgotten her shoes.
She was so stressed out that she just ran away without her bleepin` shoes!
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-08-2007 04:46 PM
And bumped into the big bad wolf who had been stalking little Red Riding Hood for the past several weeks.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-08-2007 08:39 PM
-"But that was before," thought Snowwhite.
-"Yeah, you're right, that was before..."
-"Mm, see Jay mussav misinterpreted that installment in some way..." Snowwhite continued.
-"Yeah, you are right, that was before..."
-"Happens to the best of us, donit?" thought Snowwhite.
-"Yeah! You are right! That was before... Before!"
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-08-2007 09:06 PM
Snowhite got bored of the installation talk and spoke about her thyrus rexus-collection insted,the wolf seem ed a little stuck in the past.
After half an hour the wolf fell alseep.
Snowhite found her letter-pigeon and wrote to Cinderella.
Hey,how did you solve that shoe-situation back in the days?
She soon got a letter back;never mind the shoes,mind the wolf insted...remember our friend little red riding hood?
Snowhite got interupted because
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-09-2007 03:40 PM
The witch came back.Her eyes was lightning.
Snowhite got scared.Along with her she had a bunch of people who looked scary.
Snowhite woke up the wolf.
Its time to get up!
Hurry-look-wictims!
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-09-2007 10:15 PM
The wolf quickly got up and looked around.
He yelled and snarled all he could and started to eat the meat from the witches bag.
Snowhite found a sword in her bag.
She started to fight the witch and wispered something to the wolf.
He snarled again,load and clear and all the others ran away.
Snowhite felt proud and she went back home to her castle,
and the wolf went back to hiss place in the top of a hillside.
The dinner tasted exstra good that day.
The taste of victory.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-10-2007 03:41 AM
Snowhite started to work on a pillow that she was repearing with a thread and a needle.
Suddenly a drop of blood was dripping down,and fell down on the pillow. She felt oh so sleepy.
The witch came in to her dreams,haunting her.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-10-2007 03:49 AM
She dreamt about
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-12-2007 10:34 AM
Weird Al Yankovic and how he had appeared in the forest a few days before,
stepping out of a strange and large blue box with lots of windows, and accompanied by an odd man with frizzy orange-brown hair, a long brown coat and a multi-coloured long staff that he almost tripped over.
She seemed to recall the other man being addressed as "doctor" and puzzled over this as he certainly didn't look like any doctor she'd ever seen before.
In fact, she couldn't even work out how she knew the first man was called Weird Al because he hadn't even been invented yet. In that state of sleepy confusion, she drifted back off to sleep.....
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-12-2007 01:41 PM
And woke up in a
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-12-2007 04:15 PM
shapeless environment that didn't let her retrace her steps in any which way but the one that she didn't want to think about for even a split second because it wasn't fun anymore; was it ever fun, she thought in her shapelessness, and arrived at the only possible answer...
ketchup!
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 10-12-2007 05:50 PM
She could smell the tantalising aromas of barbecuing steak and sausages wafting across the woods. Hmm, she thought, somebody is having dinner and I am so so hungry. So she got up slowly, stretched and yawned, and then realised most of her clothes had disappeared..
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-12-2007 07:50 PM
O o, how she blushed and now she really had to;
catch up!
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-13-2007 12:05 PM
But however,a kind person lent her a carpet.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-14-2007 04:10 PM
It was quite itchy but at least she could hide inside it until she could get around to the different parts of the house to try and find her clothes.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-14-2007 04:12 PM
She desided to get some freebees.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-14-2007 05:33 PM
but they were nowhere in either sight or sound. Hm, she hummed to herself, and sat down to collect her thoughts and give a lecture about the freeing of bees of which she currently knew next to nothing but that they were nowhere in either sight or sound. Hm, she hummed to herself, and sat down to collect her thoughts and give a lecture about the freeing of bees of which she currently knew next to nothing but that they were nowhere in either sight or sound. Hm, she hummed to herself, and the free bees buzzed in a place so remote to where their lecturer sat, collecting her thoughts, that they were almost not even there
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-14-2007 09:40 PM
but she didnt care because she saw a lot of freebee-cloths that was nice and elegant.She picked them up and teleported herself to boston.
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 10-15-2007 04:31 PM
She wanted to see Boston because they were a really groovy rock group.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-15-2007 11:22 PM
..because of the cool name.
In her new clothes she went to apply for a job to support her self financially.
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 10-16-2007 03:59 AM
Wearing a Rimsky-Korsakov t-shirt to the interview wasn't the smartest thing she'd ever done. She realized at the last minute that she could have worn the new one she'd gotten at the Boston concert.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-16-2007 08:51 PM
Oh no,it happend again,she thought,I lost my consentration.Darn!
Well,better head for the job-intervju again,maybe they are kind and will give me a chance after all...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-16-2007 09:56 PM
And guess what,they did.
She sat there on her chair and started to sweat and blush and suddenly the intervjuer asked her about her religious believfes.
"They cant do that!" She thought...
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-22-2007 12:21 PM
And then she had a smart and cunning plan. "What do you believe in?" she asked the interviewer.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-22-2007 05:06 PM
so she fastened her eyes to the interviewer's nasal bridge and said "what do you believe in?"
-"whatdoIbelievein" unstuttered the interviewer non-nervously but sweating like a stone + some...
-"????????????????????????????"
-"ahh, believe in, in, in ,in IAN! I believe in IAN! I BELIEVE IN IAN!!!"the interviewer screamed and he or she because the interviewer was non-sure about their gender status, and the interviewer got up from the chair and started to jump around the office like a frog... out of a cloud came weirdness personified and bellowed!!!
-"whO's rEspOnsIblE fOr thIs OffIcE!" and Snowwhite was quickest to respond and 'weirdness personified' appointed her on the spot, and disappeared in a cloud.
-"SOMEONE CATCH THAT FROGGY!" bellowed Snowwhite, and took (what is known and feared as) CHARGE!!!
a couple of minutes later when the dust had settled and Snowwhite had installed herself in her new office, she picked up the phone and dialed 0-900-IAN
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-22-2007 05:36 PM
IAN suddenly appeared from the cloud of weirdness, bringing with him BLUE BEARD ( the Highest General Manager ), who stated that he had previously instructed that the Interview Room was NEVER EVER to be opened due to possible dire consequences.
He proceeded to take swift action in the form of...................
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 10-22-2007 08:56 PM
Firing Mogfelat! Poor Mog had nothing whatsoever to do with the travesty of a sham which has been perpetrated. But pay the piper he would, so out into the street he trudged with only the slightest idea what "trudge" might mean and a small (very small) packet of coffea in his knapsack.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-22-2007 11:34 PM
and the first stone steps he saw he planted himself on for a cup of co****!!! g man, that wasn't much ******
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-23-2007 01:38 AM
So he decided to look for more information in the library that didn't exist, not to be thwarted, he looked into his mind to try to find the answers and he found...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-23-2007 01:57 AM
a switch... hmmm, a switch! he thought and the thought was like a fog that clouded up his mind so he couldn't see neither mind nor switch... confused!!! a witch snuck in through the gate and made a ruckus heard all the way to Norwich, Ipswich and
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-23-2007 03:20 AM
Forced him to eat cold pease porridge, which of course was the result of the man in the moon asking the way to one's birthplace.
he rather enjoyed the cold pease porridge as he had been starved of nutritious food for some time, especially as it was flavoured with a Hough of ham.....Ah ham he thought, I must visit The Earl of Sandwich to have a feast, with perhaps a bet and some strong beer. THAT will help to clear my mind, so off he went to.......
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-23-2007 03:33 AM
mas(s)... but it was a mess of religions and match sticks; in the distance he saw the voice of William S. Burroughs floating in a fiction/non-fiction kind a way that didn't
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-23-2007 03:36 AM
recognise sanity or insanity as an excuse for making a mess of religions & matchsticks, so he proceeded to force......
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 10-23-2007 03:55 AM
Feed the Burroughs voice beer. No, ale. No, beer. Anyway, it wasn't long before the sky was drunk and demanding a meeting with the Earl of Potato Chips.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-23-2007 11:13 AM
somebody in to eating toad in a whole.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-23-2007 11:15 AM
he said confused.
"What,what the heck are you talking about?" asked the Earl who had cut out the chips and gone over to just fish instead.(maracarel and tinned salmond)
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-23-2007 03:24 PM
"Oh no", he said," the salmon and mackerel have been poisoned so what can I do now ? Oh I know, I will eat crab".
he proceed along the pier until he found a banana boat which had........
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 10-24-2007 01:41 AM
an Autism Speaks bumper sticker, but was full of tasty crab and the Earl of
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-24-2007 01:47 AM
Wisdom, placed a huge rotting and very smelly jellyfish into a hidden place that would...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-24-2007 02:51 PM
poison
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-24-2007 07:25 PM
, person and prison.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-24-2007 08:21 PM
the clothes in the prison was black and white stripes, and the food was bread and water.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-24-2007 10:05 PM
But that didnt matter because
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-24-2007 10:35 PM
everything was a dream within a dream, he thought... and then she woke up, yawned and there was no sound, a puzzled look spread across her face... then she knew who it had to be... the one who is so silent that you can hear them, but that person is just one, she thought, so how can it be them, and her, already puzzled, face got even more puzzled,... adn-hes-cnuodtl-dernutsnda... exasperated she looked at the digital clock and gasped
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-24-2007 11:57 PM
"Oh no!! It's now 78 minutes later than 25 years, oh woe is me what shall I do? what can I do?" she thought for a while as she made her evening breakfast.
"Aha !" she shouted aloud ! "I know what to do that will help me to upset apples in the banana boat ! I will go and upset all of the fog and.........
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-25-2007 12:06 PM
cloud people because they are always raining on my parade.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-25-2007 12:25 PM
The fog
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-25-2007 01:49 PM
the fog she cried, whilst running through the rain, I will be lost forever in Never Never land, I do hope that I don't hear tick tock...tick tock...I'm afraid of the crocodile, he would like to eat me, Oh ! Oh ! Oh. I just know that he will given a quarter of a chance.
I will find a way out of this foggy cloud..........Ah!!! I see the sun shining in the distance, just above the blue moon, I must hurry in order to..........
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-25-2007 02:15 PM
not end up in norway by hich-hicking with a man that doesnt dare to ask for road-directions.
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-26-2007 12:22 PM
Gradually, through the fog, she saw the headlights of an oncoming car. Coming up closer, it stopped and a strangely familiar voice said "climb in, sweetheart". She pondered for a moment whether it was really wise to get into a car with a stranger, even if his voice did sound kind of familiar.
Still, she was tired, fed up, and hungry and said to herself "might as well".
So, she grabbed the door handle as the driver leaned over to open the door for him and
saw to her surprise and her delight that he was...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-26-2007 07:29 PM
n't there... That explains it, she thought; it's the man who wasn't there that's here offering me a ride, ok! I'm tired and fed up... and here's a man who has such a low self confidence that he's basically not there. That's so cool! I didn't think those kind of men existed, she thinks to herself, and here he isn't??? O o, that can't be, or can it, can it, it
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-27-2007 03:03 AM
was the nicest of surprises.
she was amazed to find another person with such low esteem that he wasn't there, so she told him that if only they could be together, then together they could make a person who would be there and then...............
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 10-27-2007 07:19 PM
everything would be cool and they could...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-27-2007 07:49 PM
go into a recording studio and make a record and call it "being invisible together" and they would also make a startling 26 minute version of Waltzing Matilda and dedicate it to the "cj" we all know and it would finally put an end to the despicable **** ***** and shove it into oblivion for good and force Men At Work to sing "we come from a land called Australia..." and
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 10-27-2007 11:13 PM
make them explain where we am supposed to ru,and also explain who who the .... Alice is.
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 10-28-2007 02:14 AM
but the the Alice said "Oh this is a wonderful land! where is my cat? You know..... the one which grins!"
"There are so many cats here that we need a Hatter who is quite mad to lead them into the forest where they can be free to be themselves, cats really do need to express their feelings in a comfortable.................
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 10-28-2007 03:25 AM
place where only friendly dogs are allowed and people will treat them as the princes and princesses they truly are
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-08-2007 04:17 AM
... taking her ear off the ground because she had heard enough for that moment and now had to go back and tell the others that the forrest would remain a safe place to
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-08-2007 05:15 AM
..have a fantastic picnic with her friends & pets, but she knew that it was also very important to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for.......
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-08-2007 10:34 AM
The ADHDers who came around to feed the dows in the park.however the ADHD-ers forgot that
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-08-2007 12:35 PM
without sha there can not be dows, and quickly ran back to fetch more bread, and butter, and cheese, and hot cocoa to serve at the festival, but got so squared when the sha dows began to follow them that
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 11-10-2007 03:35 AM
they circled back and triangulated their plan. Someone has gotten a bit distracted, someone else said. Please step away from the sha...sha...sha la la, hey let's sing a song before
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-10-2007 05:44 AM
so the we did so, said the bearded mountain
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-11-2007 02:30 AM
..as he called out to the green forest....I need you to....
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-11-2007 04:52 AM
take a polygraph test. Question 1. Are the volcanos still active?/Sind die volkane noch taetig?/Aer vulkanerna fortfarande aktiva?
Answer 1. 2. 3.
Sold to the gentleman in the first row!
-"Me???"
-"Yes, that is correct!"
-"Then I must, mustn't I; stand, although I'm not, corrected (& sitting I am not; I believe I am in mid flight, with no fleeing involved, I must add; & did add, didn't I?), so please Mr Mr Mr..."
-"Yes!!!"
-"Cat? Astro? Physics?"
-"Aand CUT!"
Ouch! Is that nough...
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-11-2007 05:27 PM
"Oh no!!" shouted toonough, " nough is a friend of mine I will not let him be abandoned to the fates in this unseemly way."
"Go to check out the volcanoes, look out for vultures along the path of circuitry where the end is never and...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-11-2007 11:47 PM
the neverending story is a story that nearly ends... in neverland but
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-12-2007 03:56 AM
...never ends in real life, because in real life the witches & volcanoes do exist and exert never ending pressure upon those who........
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-12-2007 03:57 PM
are at the bottom (the very bottom) of the task (the one and only) of handling the shovels (repetitious; yes, indeed) feeding the chimney not to much of the food it prefers... and who might it be... Ong & Ing... Mogfelat & Ligferrat... The Siamese Uncles... Weird Al & the Workers of the Void...
Many names... Yes, but to what purpose... Stay a little longer and find out... 3 2 1
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 11-13-2007 10:39 AM
Zero!
"We Have Ignition!"
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-13-2007 04:20 PM
said... :
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-16-2007 02:47 PM
-E-edward -T-theodore; m'Nanufactured is key to the following. Weapons of Diversity
1. What came first - the Orange or its color?
2. Where are you?
3. Brackets!
4. Ink?
5. The End!
6. Aminal!
7. Bouncy Ouncy! And All The Rest?
8. Squares!
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-17-2007 09:19 PM
Next day in the courtroom
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-17-2007 11:44 PM
The judge is late... tap tap tap...
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-18-2007 03:43 AM
...aha, here he comes, bewigged, be gowned & quite renowned for his extraordinary methods of dispensing his own particular form of justice to all & sundry except for the.........
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 11-18-2007 11:01 AM
...mole people. Because where they live no eye can see.
"Silence in the Court!" he bellows in a voice like a drumbeat. He sits and surveys the room.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-18-2007 04:25 PM
tap tap tap...
"Operator! Yes, send in the ground-searching-radar team, there's a dog buried somewhere and...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-18-2007 04:30 PM
"I object!"
Yelles an advokate and rises up in the courtroom
"you cant ask this question because my client neads a rest due to acute stress!"
"Overruled"answers the jugde slightly irritated.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-18-2007 04:33 PM
... sniff sniff tap tap."
"OMG, it's alive!!!"
"What?"
"This dog's not dead..."
"What? What is it?"
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-19-2007 05:01 AM
oh!!! I see, it's a monstrous blind mole awakening, but look at him closely & you will see that the advocate was wrong....very strong, but definitely wrong.
The Judge was not at all amused, so much bemused he said.....................
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-19-2007 01:29 PM
........................ caught a Jurnd back home this morning. A crazy little fella! Wanna see?
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-19-2007 11:52 PM
Nobody understood what this ment.However the dog had a good future and become old and had a respectable death.
the court was at this point conserned about the mother who was conserned about her aspie kid who in mystical ways had localized a train( and just trains happend to be his special interest,)back to his home
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-20-2007 12:08 AM
(trains are an interesting topic; train tracks and railways too)
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-20-2007 12:10 AM
He thought a lot about sertain trainstations in russia which such a nice
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-20-2007 04:26 AM
...atmosphere could be found, which made him so happy to know at last that all was going to work out best for the tracks in the snow.
The tracks were made by the unmentionable named person, who is big, hairy,has rather large feet & red hair. This unmentionable became ensconced in the large...........
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-20-2007 09:38 AM
walk-in freezer were he (his name is Norman) set up household in a cave like contrapment fashioned from cardboard boxes, hay bales and ice, were he could tuck in himself and wait for the food delivery guy (his name is Guy) to
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-21-2007 03:41 AM
use forks to eat the food.
he waited & waited but alas no food was forthcoming, so he left his new home & went to ask the Judge in the volcano, what a good unmentionable person called Guy should do.
The Judge & Advocate said................
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-21-2007 04:10 AM
Hear je! Hear je!
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-21-2007 05:09 AM
The Court is in session," I want all absent witnesses to remain absent in order that we will never know the truth".
Off he stuttered & strutted with a very long................
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-21-2007 05:19 PM
..................... step that, viewed from afar, was like the shadow of the infamous aztek two-step!
"aAt should clear it, you beatnik wanna be!!!" muttered he who stepped.
The judge cleared his throat ***** and uttered.
"Let the game be thin...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-25-2007 03:40 PM
I say;Behold!"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-25-2007 07:45 PM
And I saw a red horse standing by a red house that had blue shutters and in front of it I saw the owner standing on the green...
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-26-2007 03:47 AM
but very brown earth, "ahem", said the monkeyfied nonsense zebra-giraffe," The Volcano knows ALL, so please go to speak to the greatest one who.....
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-26-2007 11:49 AM
has taken off the glasses for the moment to it does not see to far away.I sea said
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-26-2007 04:27 PM
said the sea and crashed the beach party and when the sea'd left the party growled, "What did you have to go and do that for? Now we're all bleached and transparent!" It iterated it bitterly a few times, growling in-between for good measure, and then started to back to town for
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-26-2007 06:54 PM
Breakfast at Tiffanys.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-26-2007 08:13 PM
But it was closed due to a duel of dual dullness in the residue of Mispels. Mulla Nasruddin was there and wasn't there
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-26-2007 08:24 PM
and it was confusing, wasn't it, it was confusing (even to the Whiffclanger it was confusing and that should explain it, not only sort-of, not only!) and scary too, as the Mispels truly are as dull as Dulles would be if it were any closer to Dallas, Tx. ...
The Texas Flangers looked on, toned out and blurrby; they hadn't hunted down Pillows just for Pillows sake for they really wanted this Oker put away for good and
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-26-2007 10:24 PM
with for good they did not meen kill,the ment to a bether place like Arizona or something,if thats better in your oppinion,but that didnt matter because...WOW!
What happend he asked himself because
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-26-2007 11:07 PM
there he wasn't... "aHa, that's why!" said the bored (as in drilled) cup. Mulla Nasruddin gaped in aw as he hadn't even thought that Arizona was a part of the ballgame; rather apart from it (the ballgame! You think; and your right!). "Now I'm confused; and I'm the writer, so go figure..."
...............................................................................................
The on-going story gets down its knees and pleads "Hey! Mister. This is very confusing. Please get me back on track."
...............................................................................................
Dance upon the time like a
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-26-2007 11:14 PM
out who writes right here right now,right?
No,she answered,too confused.The ball might hit a planet,like the wrong.Syndrome
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-26-2007 11:35 PM
da!"
-"What?"
da!!! !!! ! Oh, I'm sorry! I mean it's the Asperger Syndromeda Galaxy and... Where we are; anything are happening and happening are
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-28-2007 12:53 AM
good if you wish them to be.
The flibberty jackonasygone said " Aha..I will tell the best story of all, if only you will all join me for breakfast at Tiffany's, or perhaps a Neanderthal......
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-28-2007 12:55 AM
inside the universe,not outside because we dont know if it exist,do we,as we can not get outside it
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-28-2007 12:59 AM
But Tiffanys did sound to expensive so how about dropping breakfast and go for lunsh or buy something cheap like a
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-28-2007 01:03 AM
Nice Indian take away, which we can take to China for a galaxy & then.....
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-28-2007 01:04 AM
we might stop by the wrong planet or other healthy geeky places but not
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-28-2007 01:11 AM
Leave anyone behind, as all are important, never forget this, so off they went, carrying the Indian, who was rather heavy to take all of the way so they dropped him into.....
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-28-2007 01:13 AM
a Danish hut where he fell asleep till tomorrow.After resting with some strangers he thought that the amnesia had kicked in because
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-28-2007 02:15 AM
he could remember but he couldn't remember why he could remember...
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 11-28-2007 02:27 AM
because although his memory was still within his brain, he was unable to access it.
he slept long & well, the next but last day, he decided to.......
RE: Ongoing story... - autisticinsanity - 11-28-2007 02:42 AM
take a bike ride to Colorado, on the way he stopped by a maverick to pick up....
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 11-28-2007 09:36 AM
...to get a transponder-map of the galaxy..... To find the blokes that left him in the hut.... (The ones that said never leave anybody behind)....aHa... the glowing dots on the map indicated a position to seek...
147 to go
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-28-2007 10:21 PM
as consultant to the faculty that organize the final extinction of the Areuserious Wretch, but as usual he wasn't the only *** on that line so
RE: Ongoing story... - Sonic Boom - 11-29-2007 03:20 AM
he decided to breed a 300 pound parakeet as a publicity stunt, but it went wrong and
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-29-2007 05:01 AM
the poor little parakeet became so small that he could fly through solid barriers while the publicity stuntman tore what hair he had left from his baldy scalp and got into hot air balloons instead from which the staff could monitor the Areuserious Wretch as its devastation grew in wider and wider circles all over the state of Colorado and its neighbor Utah and everybody sheered it on thinking that the Mormons are gonna like this remnant from the time when the earth was younger than Brigham Young
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 11-29-2007 08:23 AM
Alas though failure breeds a success The little parakeet flew from state to state unseen, but with a powerful message heard the world round What did say this little bird? Go the way the Indian did, to a
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 11-29-2007 04:22 PM
scandinavian land and find a zoo.
Not one of those shops,but a funpark-zoo!
It has great spacey cages and lots of other birds there...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 11-29-2007 08:15 PM
too
Planning a coup d'tat in the zoo
All cooing to escape their spacious coop
With hopes of finding a ticket for fun-park rides
As with these small beings
Its ten to the seat side by side
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-01-2007 01:49 AM
having fun on the ride, but still the great Areuserious Wretch continued to attempt to wreak havoc upon the unwary so the others decided to....
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 12-01-2007 06:36 AM
...pray for that Areuserious Wretch to be less unwary too,
before the crew...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-01-2007 07:22 PM
cut all ties to... but when all seemed lost the outpost yelled out, we've got company, and everybody saw who because on the horizon was not a sandstorm but the dust clouds of the spinning maniac team of Mogfelat & Ligferrat aiming to trick that Wretched Areuserious and boy, are they serious... and everybody (+ some) cheered as the monstrosity of neither reason nor logic lumbered on in quiet mania, coming closer and closer to that cul de sac were everything
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 12-01-2007 09:28 PM
was in harmony again, struggling to be in toon, or was that tune
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 12-03-2007 05:40 AM
and if so was it "Turkey in the Straw" or "Chicken on the Moon?" Mogfelat started to tell that same old story about the perpendicularity of breakfast foods and Ligferat was cornered
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-04-2007 02:21 AM
into a big fat hole to which there seemed to be no end.........he suddenly he saw the great bright.....
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-04-2007 04:08 AM
balloon weilding eating equipment at the tail of the Wretched Areuserious who'd fell asleep in the quiet cul de sac, totally unaware of the ghost of Jawseph Schtalin, drunk as a
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-04-2007 05:01 AM
skunk..."why do they say that? he said do skunks get drunk...if so on what?".
Off he wandered away into the woods where the Wretched Areuserious would never dare go, because he was afraid of.......
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 12-04-2007 08:47 AM
... nothing but having been seen serving breakfast to the chicken on the moon, eggs, sunnyside up...
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 12-05-2007 12:22 AM
Where is the logic in this,he thought really confused...
"I am so clever,look at me look" he yelled; to see peoples reactions.
quietness.
silence.
pause.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-05-2007 08:42 PM
pose! I will not... Don't you know who I am! Not? &#"(!=(/#"!!!
*silence permeates the set*
sssssorrrry... guys, it's this method-acting that begets me. Would you police move that s-k-u-n-k to its proper lodgings... Tanks... Oh Kay, werewolf werewee... alright, tidbit
*the set breathes out; its color slowly returning*
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 12-05-2007 10:26 PM
Who has allowd you to relax?
Shouted
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-15-2007 02:28 PM
"Sch!!! Out me? Are you serious?" he said allegedly suspiciously...
*pancakes*
"Camera!!! Tae Kwon..."
*pancreas*
"Do!!! Deskaden!!!"
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 12-17-2007 01:42 PM
"pancakes"...
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-19-2007 01:54 AM
"Oh pancakes!! great " said the monstiferous nonsensical pancreatic skunk or could have been a skink
.." .I don't know who or what I am in this strange world full of others' who think that they are better & more useful than.....
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-28-2007 01:00 AM
me!!! I mean... Who do they think they are? I'm just asking I mean I am justified I err, well, who are they?
-"Themselves" thundered a voice of
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-29-2007 01:03 AM
monstiferous nonsensical pancreatic skunk in the rich volnano...or could it be volcano?
we will take a walk into the deep black ( but really green ) forest in order to see the great wellie man in all of his raincoat glory, so off they trotted only to find.....OH NO, NOT A..................
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 12-29-2007 10:14 AM
Big hairy ranting yeti monster. "Head for the hills!", "Flee!", "Waaah!", "Help!", the cries echoed through the forest as various creatures ran or hopped or flew in the other direction as fast as they could go.
Unfortunately, in all the excitement, the poor skunk let go a long blast of skunk scent.
Fortunately, most of the creatures were long gone but the yeti monster copped most of the spray and fell to the ground, rolling around and screaming.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-29-2007 04:09 PM
screaming. So that it burst open at the seams and out of it ran a little mouse donning a knitted gas mask coughing and swearing and
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 12-29-2007 10:55 PM
shouting "I am the mouse saver of all the skunked ones! follow me away from the skunks & great yeti hairy monsters into the cheeseland where all is...........
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 12-30-2007 09:57 AM
...Cheddar.
The little mouse leapt upwards to a great height. Mogfelat gasped, not realising that mice could achieve such a high level of skill in martial arts, but the mouse squealed as he flew through the air.
His sharp back feet collided with the yeti monster, popping him like an over-stretched balloon. With a squeal of escaping air, the yeti monster deflated until he became just like a...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-30-2007 03:13 PM
dried fig who, no matter what he did, couldn't utter a single comprehensible word without sulking...
-"Hey, mouse! Come here and give us a kiss," said Mogfelat and
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 01-02-2008 11:08 AM
the mouse said "why?"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-03-2008 01:07 AM
-"why? Becaws am Francie Brady! Who do you think you are?"
-"Francie Brady... I have no time for thinking or kissing or... I am a mouse! What do mice eat? Cheddar!!!"
-"Oh, sorry mate... Want some crackers?"
-"Ah, that a boy in my taste." said the mouse and leaned in close to Mogfelat and
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-22-2008 11:56 AM
whispered.
-"I got some strawberry jam back in my mousey hole. Want to go back there and have some?"
-"Lezz gow," said Moggie in a drawling voice and on they went but what Moggie didn't know was that Francie Brady had something up his sleeve that didn't
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 01-23-2008 12:51 PM
quite add up. He was a hoarder and didn't like throwing out things that didn't work; not even his broken calculator.
RE: Ongoing story... - Emmy - 01-24-2008 03:54 PM
perhaps someone could fix it and it could turn valueble in a few years,better hang on to that one.
hm...
No.
Its in the bin now,where it should be.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-24-2008 08:41 PM
-"Well! Well! Well! That was a real change of scenery," said the pocket calculator and began to hit on a sorry loaf of bread.
-"Get off of me you imbecile, can't you see I'm grieving?"
-"Manners! Please," it rumbled from not to far away...
-"Oh, no... Not that one again... Thank you very much for inviting the monster," said a pack of semi-edible ham.
Simultaneously further up the alley a scavenger of the intrepid sort tripped over some boxes of glass jars put out quite recently and made a ruckus on top of the garbled orders shouted out to the godless cretin guilty of such a transgression as putting out good jars as trash...
-"Manners! Please," it sounded like... "Suit yourself, these jars are the quickest cash tonight... thank you Jesus!" said our intrepid friend and began to transfer the cache to his three-wheeled bicycle.
Minutes ticked away and the silence was like a crazed serial murderer to the calmness of the trash bin were our friend the pocket calculator lay waiting for the inevitable. Attempting to stifle a sudden burst of burps the pocket calculator coughed up the sad remnants of the numbers 9, 7 and 2 and was just about to
RE: Ongoing story... - Hedgehog - 01-25-2008 02:36 AM
......turn itself off, when it was plucked out of the garbage by a deranged bag-lady in a torn day-glo plastic mac and thrown into her already overflowing shopping trolley.
She cackled to herself "Now I can save the world from............"
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-26-2008 02:58 PM
all these edges and corners and impossible dancers in vitro fertilization didn't I tell you that I used to be...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 02-01-2008 02:05 AM
...a rabbit?"
"Then how did you change?" inquired the disembodied voice of Mogfelat.
"Simple enough, O Disembodied One," she explained. "The powers of advanced genetic engineering and stem cell mutations hath made me the bipedal being I am today. And if that's not enough, I do miss the taste of grass and the musty, homely smell of my old warren."
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-02-2008 02:24 PM
There was a sudden thump and a few stray bits of fur flew up. It soon became obvious that Mogfelat wasn't quite his normal self and now looked more like a fat moggy than anything else.
"Merrow!" said the former Mogfelat and that was all that would come out of his mouth.
He was getting more and more panicky about his loss of speech that he
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 02-03-2008 09:48 PM
leaped out of his burrow so quickly that he turned himself inside out!
"Oh no" he tried to cry, but his voice was muffled by the greasy fur, he rolled into the magic river, where all was made right, he was once again a fat mogget instead of a Mogfelat who could.....
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 02-08-2008 02:07 AM
...turn trees to ashes with the power of his queer-eyed gaze alone.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-11-2008 04:40 AM
.. scattered in two inches of water were receipts dating back to the turn of the century and all detailing purchases of loose leaf binders and pencils totalling several thousand of an unidentified currency and grave rumors hinting at international shipments of goods mentioned to nameless recipients... thought it who once had bored the name that it now could not pronounce save for the faint taste of Pepsodent Tooth Paste lingering in the somewheres of adventures past...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-11-2008 09:17 AM
Drats... I should have used the oderless paste! but then my sorrowful state of breath, unpepperminted, would have given me away anyway...
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-16-2008 04:51 PM
and flattened all life forms within a 500 metre radius. It looked like a job for..
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 02-17-2008 02:52 PM
Mouthwash man! Wherever unpleasant mouth odours congregate, there you will find Mouthwash Man with his trusty pump action super economy bottle of Listerine TM.
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-17-2008 09:35 PM
... the economy, extra large size was swiftly administered... alas... fresh breath to speak fresh words... Where are Mog and Lig? They were last seen...
RE: Ongoing story... - Minnesota Iceman - 02-17-2008 11:14 PM
watching Hillary Clinton eating a live baby; that is, until Hillary looked up, saw them, glared, and they were forced to...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-18-2008 04:33 AM
…escape into a time-portal with hopes of correcting ‘Time’ gone askew…
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-18-2008 02:53 PM
It would be the biggest task they'd ever tackled in their lives - to prevent Hilary Clinton from becoming famous.
RE: Ongoing story... - Minnesota Iceman - 02-19-2008 09:43 AM
A task which was doomed to failure, because she already was famous (or perhaps infamous would be a better word?). Nevertheless, they realized that they had to...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 02-20-2008 06:08 AM
...track Hillary to the Magnetic Pole before they could carry out their mission.
And for that they needed their extra warm thermal pyjamas. "Oh darn," said Mog. "I left mine at home."
RE: Ongoing story... - Minnesota Iceman - 02-20-2008 06:41 AM
And speak of the devil, Hillary appeared before them, her mouth agape, exposing serrated, blood-soaked fangs. Cackling, she said, "I have come for your..."
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-20-2008 04:45 PM
Furry toys. "Nooooooo! Anything but them!". But she didn't listen, and grabbed Mogfelat by the scruff of the neck and put on a surprising turn of speed.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-20-2008 08:35 PM
"Hmm!" said Mogfelat; minus scruff. The dust settling around him and Hillary like a glimmer of Ozark sunshine just above the horizon. "Now where's that Ligferrat...
RE: Ongoing story... - Minnesota Iceman - 02-20-2008 11:34 PM
...when you need him?"
Hillary snickered. "I ate him!"
Mogfelat could not believe his ears. Surely...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-21-2008 07:55 AM
...Hillary only imagined such, skewed perspective, so to speak... Lig and mog are invincelble, cannot be eaten, (best not to anyway...). Hillary hilariously admitted she...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-21-2008 02:09 PM
meant she ate Bill's cigar... "Don't you believe me?" she shreiked in a high pitch voice that rolled up out of the abyss of her oral cavity like a runaway train while Mog and Lig inched backwards out of her line of vision only to bump up against...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-21-2008 11:30 PM
... Bill, looking for his cigar... "Hey!", he says... "That's the um-teenth time I've lost my cigar!". Lig and mog decide to exit....
RE: Ongoing story... - Minnesota Iceman - 02-22-2008 12:25 AM
...before Hillary can eat them. "So, where to?" Mog asked.
Lig replied, "How about..."
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-22-2008 12:48 AM
... we go to The Cleveland Wrecking Yard and see if Troutfishing in America is still around?"
"Ohio?"
"No, it's in the San Fransisco area, you have to take the number 15 bus at Columbus Avenue to get there or, er, you could in 1961... but
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-22-2008 02:24 AM
“… it's the year 1491 and the Americas have yet to be discovered!”
“And no, it was the ‘Columbia river’, not ‘Columbus Ave’ , where you can catch the ‘15’-pound salmons!”
“Wait… before we go…. we’ll need bait, a couple of cigars, ear-plugs, and…..”
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-22-2008 02:44 PM
some dynamite."
"Oi! What's the dynamite for?"
"If that Bill don't leave us alone we...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-23-2008 07:29 AM
…will have to leave it/him alone, since we forgot the blasting caps!… drats. Hmmmm... suppose we could fake a ‘Boom’, fish with integrity the old fashion way -- hook, line and sinker… Perhaps we can thrill Bill with a blast against the ‘Bill’ before our legislative crew in Olympia, a dynamite-blast of words with proof that education in Washington sucks for those on the spectrum…”
“No, no, no… take your complaint about education in Washington to another thread…. I’m still trying to find, ah, Colombo-something and the number 15 to wherever... and I don't want to go fishing!…. was it 1961? Wait…. Why did you take us to 1491?….”
“For God’s sake… to start over of course...."
"You can't DO that!..."
"Oh, right, we can only observe.... so, well, what's wrong with wanting to sail off the edge of the world in 1492?, 'twas was on my mind.... [It’s been a long day, cheers!] ……
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-24-2008 04:05 AM
But before they could go any further, a piercing shriek of rage and surprise interrupted their reveries. It was Hilary again "how dare they! how dare they!" she bellowed, stopping them with her pointy-toed high heeled designer shoe and grabbing them by the scruffs of their necks.
"Ohh, now we're really for it!" groaned Mog. But Bill snatched them off his ex-wife and flung them into some nearby bushes. "Oww!" yelled George senior, "Mind where you're flinging things!".
"Aww! Hilary! don't you have any sense of humour?" continued Bill, "I thought it was rather amusing, actually". He pointed to the image on the Laptop she was on the verge of tossing into the bushes.
It showed a diagramme of Autism Speaks + Hilary = a horse in a field with some manure in the foreground.
"I've been moved to think the same at times, you know".
But Hilary just got redder and redder with ire and he just knew she was about to explode and start hurling invective and whatever was close to hand. By this time, Mog and Lig had run for it and the by now extremely nervous Bushes were heading for the hills...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 02-25-2008 02:27 AM
but they were no ordinary hills; moles they were, moles in the face of the earth which was a fact the Bushes paid no attention to as they scrambled for protection in direction of the enormous twin caves that were but the openings to the nasal cavities of that face and at whose entrance tall weeds swayed in the stale air and that was their undoing for had they done their allocated homework they might have grasped what was to happen should they enter such a delicate opening but as the Bushes they were they were not aware of that they were little else than nuclear bums as dry and irritating as a fart in the desert and what, but disaster, was ahead of them as they advanced on their fateful destination may not come as a surprise to the public at large save for the sorrowless and utterly optimistic inventor of the mobile road, Mr
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-25-2008 04:04 PM
MacAdam.
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 02-25-2008 10:56 PM
who could have known the Duke of Wellington. That is if he had been in the right time, He could have busted Hillary of the pointy-toed high heeled designer shoes...they were bright red of course, which had a strange effect upon the other's as they saw the matching face....uuggghhh they all said, heading once again for the nuclear bums in order to once again.........
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-27-2008 02:41 PM
sniff up the fumes they'd developed a strange addiction to.
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 02-29-2008 08:53 AM
....to escape the fumes, Mog and Lig decide to strap-on their rocket-roller-blades and head for the nearest portal, determined this time to NOT be separated as before, when Mog flunked the portal entrance exam…. Meanwhile... Bill was still searching for his latest lost cigar... "Hillary?"....
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 02-29-2008 03:24 PM
But no Hilary was to be found. All he saw was her high heeled shoes and a few stray wisps of smoke coming from them.
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 03-03-2008 12:42 PM
Lig turned to Mog. "What the...?"
"Well don't look at me. You're the one who suggested dynamite."
"I don't think that was the dynamite," whispered Lig.
"Then what?"
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 03-04-2008 12:46 AM
The evil witch perhaps?? After all she had taken all of the others and decided to evaporate them if they so much as attempted to enter the portal, but it could also have been the deadly.............
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 03-04-2008 05:22 AM
The Sorceress had strapped on stolen supercharged-rocket-blades powered by boosters that were shaped like dynamite sticks. She had lit the fuse, quick is was, leaving no time to grab her pointy red high-heels which were left behind. Oh well, whooooooooosh…… she was off to chase Mog and Lig…
In the meantime, Bill could be heard in the distance…”Hillary?”
Mog and Lig’s only hope for escape was….
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 03-05-2008 12:33 AM
into the past where a bird might flap it's wings and cause mayhem the world over, yes !! indeed , that is what she did as this was her most earnest desire...mayhem! mayhem ! MAYHEM!! she shouted at the top of her down voice, I will cause the whole world to splinter into........
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-05-2008 12:39 AM
magnets and magpies and the script to this whole hollow production they call
RE: Ongoing story... - woman from mars - 03-05-2008 12:53 AM
the living of evil.
"No No goodness always prevails eventually", said auntie pod the great old wise one who would never dream of wearing red shoes, never mind the style that could be called stilts. "BUT I must tell you a secret that you must never ever mention or............
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-10-2008 02:46 AM
you will forever be a hologram!!! ! !!!
-"Ok! Ok! Ok! Won't tell! Cross my heart, Bob Hope and 99 miniature porcelain sea lions!"
-"Ok... Listen closely....................
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 03-10-2008 09:16 AM
“.........do you hear them Lig? All 99 are singing a chorus from the song ‘Hotel California’:
(Faintly, the voices of 99 porcelain sea-lions are joined by 99 miniature penguins) “...you can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave... “
“Yes, yes, I do hear them... and such harmony Mog,”
“Oh... I already knew we were holograms... ‘tis the source that is our strength...”
“So, Mog, seems we’ve escaped the sorceress... Where to now?”..............
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 03-10-2008 01:40 PM
There was a small puff of purple smoke and then a book appeared. The holographic figures gently dissolved into the pages from whence they had originally come...and that is the end of our wonderful story for tonight, my friends.
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 03-20-2008 05:52 AM
“Shhhh… quiet Mog… or they’ll turn off the hologrami switch again. I managed to flick it on just as we dematerialized…. We can program it to act on our direction only… They’ll never know… Mog? Are you there?”
“You told me to be quiet!”
“Shhhhh!”
RE: Ongoing story... - tenaciouscj - 03-30-2008 03:07 PM
Just then a big cat pounced...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 03-31-2008 12:49 AM
.... on its own reflection and froze up for a moment before it relaxed and went back to...
RE: Ongoing story... - nyanchan - 04-16-2008 03:02 AM
Licking those less than savoury places that those of the species, Felus Cattus, are especially prone to lick.
"Mog, you're stepping on my toe."
"Sorry."
"Quiet. He'll hear us."
The giant cat turned around with an uncaring air about him.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 04-19-2008 12:33 AM
and frowned...
"I beg your pardon!!!" it voiced pefreclty...
"SSSHHHit, it's talking..."
Mog and Lig split, scrambled and zoomed off several minutes past tomorrow...
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 04-20-2008 03:21 PM
Mog found himself in a perpendicular universe. Odd, he thought, I've been here before, but I was a chicken! Quickly he scanned the obituary page for his name. Not there. Good, he thought. Then he realized with a start (and quite nearly a finish, too) that the page had been renamed "People We Miss."
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 04-24-2008 11:44 PM
Lig tapped the face of the Mickey Mouse wrist watch and was just about to give up when
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-05-2008 06:48 AM
activated, lit-up, and started dancing... indicating...
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-05-2008 07:08 AM
Drats... I forgot the 'it'... (figures... coming from an 'it')
it should read:
it activated, lit-up, and started dancing... indicating it...
(too many 'it's)
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-08-2008 02:18 AM
wsnt ll bt grbg.
Lig listened listlessly in L-llish aw.
"There's something the matter with this," he thought while Mickey Mouse danced before him blinking in Morse Code
DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 05-15-2008 07:26 AM
. . . . . .. --- -....- --- .-.. -.. -- -.-. -.. --- -. .- .-.. -.. .... .- -.. .- ..-. .- .-. -- .- -. -.. --- -. .... .. ... ..-. .- .-. -- - .... . .-. . .-- .- ... .-
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 05-16-2008 02:43 AM
-. --- - .
Lig frowned and turned crimson. Then he ran back to the previous outpost to fetch his specs (as an excuse) but on the way he bumped into the couple who wasn't there (because of a mutual and complete lack of confidence), therefore so completely losing his directions that he ended up at the site he just had left (without knowing that he hadn't fetched his specs). He took a deep breath and read out loud
Enok ops 4 Spokane
Behind him Old Mr. MacDonald shouted somewhat incoherently, "Hey Enok or whatever name your is! Better you of getting your sorry excuse for a break in the middle of working hours put together fast as a pack that mule up real fast so we can get on with the story!"
"I aint no mule, Mr. MacDonald," said the mule and lifted its tail to
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 07-06-2008 04:21 PM
let the next coin be entered into its complex system of
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-03-2008 02:33 AM
its mysterious insides that some say are the opposite and should therefore
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 10-10-2008 05:58 AM
... be causious of what one sees, as one rolls under the mule's tail and into .... yes indeed, 'tis not a mule....
Mysterious, yes. Opposite of what? The mirror? Is it black? No, it's white... Wait, what 'opposite' are we looking at?
As our speed increases....
[I had a moment to drop-in.... Hope to contribute more soon...]
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-11-2008 01:04 AM
[I had a moment to drop-in.... Hope to contribute more soon... Oh, I'm pleased to see you here!!!]
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exponentially/76. Most modern Swedish jazz on record up to date has a flavor that is mostly reminding of the type of music that is known in the U.S.A. as West Coast Jazz
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rksten Quintet delivers some truly exciting jazz
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 10-13-2008 08:35 AM
ichtms Wrote:
[I had a moment to drop-in.... Hope to contribute more soon... Oh, I'm pleased to see you here!!!]
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exponentially/76. Most modern Swedish jazz on record up to date has a flavor that is mostly reminding of the type of music that is known in the U.S.A. as West Coast Jazz
/---/
rksten Quintet delivers some truly exciting jazz
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exponentially/76. Most modern Swedish jazz on record up to date has a flavor that is mostly reminding of the type of music that is known in the U.S.A. as West Coast Jazz
/---/
rksten Quintet delivers some truly exciting jazz
Thanks, I missed hanging out here.... I hope I have the time to be here more often... likely not... )-:
[Though I’m on the west coast, I must admit that I had no clue about the genre, 'west coast jazz', so I looked it up on wiki. Hmmmm.... a sub set of 'cool jazz', and debated by some as ‘subprime’ (they’re just stuck in the past). I tried to find a few tracks(mp3) of kristen Quintet on-line, but was not very successful. My dad liked Gerry Mulligan, and listened to our 'smooth jazz' radio station all the time. I like the radio station too, and though enjoyable, it gets boring after awhile...probably because I have a hearing problem. I like piano to be included in any music/jazz that I listen to. I haven't found a satisfying 'mix' of this that I really enjoy. 'Classical' is always a good substitute. I have my 'oldies' rock-roll moods too. I’ll keep an ‘ear’ open for a jazzy piano suggestion. ]
Let's see... where were we...? Inside a mule I suspect, gaining speed... sights abound... spinning to-and-fro doesn't help... time to stop the coin and take a look at...
RE: Ongoing story... - Pakrat - 10-18-2008 01:44 PM
the walls
RE: Ongoing story... - Dark Shamshir X - 10-19-2008 12:37 AM
Fell on an unfortunate NT that wanted to mess with us.
(I'm referring to Mosse.)
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-21-2008 03:32 PM
Fell on an unfortunate NT that wanted to mess with us.
-And we know who that is, don't we!!!
-So?
-What?
-Was it that fell on the unfortunate watchammacallitt?
-Hm, don't really know, do I. Eh!
-What?
-
RE: Ongoing story... - Dark Shamshir X - 10-22-2008 12:42 AM
"Sucks to be him!" Shamshir said.
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 10-22-2008 02:14 PM
and let out a long and sighing
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 10-29-2008 06:37 AM
...breath of fresh truth... The coin rolls on... past... what? It's Lig and Mog imprisoned in a spider web, bound together for an upcoming meal…. A faint “Help” we hear coming from the heroic two, “please save us! “we’ve not yet….”
RE: Ongoing story... - Beammeup - 11-14-2008 08:31 AM
… voted! “ .
A dude in a spider costume approaches our two heroes… “Hey, you two are out-of-sync!”. “Halloween was last month, and you missed the election!”. “This haunted house is closed, so it’s time for you to vacate! Get out of that Web!”
“What!, you said we could work until the next blue-moon!”
“No, I said the next ’full’ moon -- that was yesterday… here’s your paycheck… Vamoose!”
“Hey! $111.00 dollars? Lig and I were guaranteed twice that!, and thrice! if we really scared people”.
“Phittt, you couldn't scare anybody, and Sorry, funds have been diverted for a bail-out, everyone gives half!”
“Grab the rocket-blades Mog, let’s head for higher ground.”
“Lig?, and where might that be….?”
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 11-16-2008 05:06 PM
"Just below the top!" comrade Mog.
"Which top?"
"That one over there by those little bicycles. Can you see it?"
"It?"
"It!" said Lig and pointed a finger.
"It?" said Mog.
RE: Ongoing story... - Thomas the Solitary - 12-27-2008 11:50 AM
"Yes, *IT*", screamed Ligferrat, clinging tenaciously to the rocket as it shouted it's smokey exit from the scene.
Mogfelat stared in awesome wonder as the pair went rocketing off into the blue yonder.
"I wonder if I shall ever see that groovy Ligferrat again", thought Mogfelat. The narrator thinks Ligferrat will show up later in a most unexpected way.
Depressed and lonely, now that Ligferrat had so abruptly left the scene, Mogfelat started scratching the ground dejectedly for something to peck at. Nothing popped it's head up to be viciously torn asunder by Mogfelat's beak. This was not going well.
So the extraterestrial chicken sat down and began reading the Wheel of Time series once again, or at least attempted to. It was interrupted by
RE: Ongoing story... - Thomas the Solitary - 12-28-2008 01:46 AM
the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She had all the physical properties he'd ever wanted, and knew all the right things to say.
Then, she started to change. It was vague at first, and Mogfelat let it go and ignored it, trying desperately to keep what good there seemed to be. Then, it became obvious that the woman was playing with him. Then, a whole host of other people started gathering around, wearing the same female mask. Mogfelat, knowing damn well something was up, started to have a nervous breakdown. Everything looked strange to him, and started to even question if time itself was real. He was on the verge of actually believing in Solipsism, and the evil scientists was these people.
He decided that this was not where he wanted to be, and his life needed to get straightened out, so he abandoned that place for a time and went looking for more of his own species. He found a very nice community of lovely Space Chickens.
Just then, the corner known as Ligferrat came rocketing by on his only mode of transportation, a large red solid fulled projectile with his hand out, smacking the crap out of Mogfelat.
Again, Mogfelat had a mind altering enlightenment while Ligferrat went merrily on his smoky brimstone smelling way back out of the scene again.
This was odd, thought Mogfelat, since
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-28-2008 02:15 AM
he actually really actually felt a craving for Hot Dogs and
RE: Ongoing story... - Dark Shamshir X - 12-28-2008 03:25 AM
the Forsaken creatures beyond mankind arrived...
RE: Ongoing story... - Thomas the Solitary - 12-28-2008 08:03 AM
and the white spotted red mushrooms started sprouting, so
RE: Ongoing story... - rhetorical - 01-06-2009 03:44 PM
"It" was defined as a spot on a spot on a spot. This is where I came in, announced Mog, pointing pointedly. Ligferrat was thinking about chicken fried chicken with chicken sauce. Guilty. Guilty. Sure he was going straight to L.
RE: Ongoing story... - Bario - 01-06-2009 06:06 PM
..Luxembourg to get some of those red spotted mushrooms. The flesh touched his lips and his vision began to blur.
Amazing sparkly colours were dashing all around him. He stopped to focus his vision for a second when before his eyes appeared a...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-07-2009 02:24 AM
zip lock bag half full of air and a mirror sat on a cupboard, giggling and
RE: Ongoing story... - Bario - 01-07-2009 02:00 PM
...shimmering in the wind... the goblin in Terry's pocket jumped right out and peered into the magic receptacle.. Upon sighting his reflection he was overwhelmed with joy, and jumping around and about... slipped into the mirror and transported to another world....
Terry stood bewildered, thinking for a second, before he decided to...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 01-15-2009 08:26 PM
peel off this last layer of history and go back a few
RE: Ongoing story... - sybient - 08-14-2011 12:46 AM
eons to the distant past where goblins and witches tread silently through the
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-13-2011 06:27 PM
mushy context of a story yet to begin
RE: Ongoing story... - Marcia - 09-13-2011 07:18 PM
(Tomas!)
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 09-14-2011 07:46 PM
Suddenly, there was a huge explosion. I barely made it out alive. Amongst all the smoke I noticed the file of important information. I lifted it and ran…
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-22-2011 12:41 AM
... for the door???
"The door... what the hell? A door, err... come on, think! What is door? Is it even a what? Think!"
Then a multi layered sound boomed forth from...
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 09-22-2011 04:44 PM
...Behind me. I turned around only to see the horror...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 09-24-2011 12:53 AM
... vacui trying to placate the half-filled waiting-room with a package of...
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 10-07-2011 10:57 AM
"Zombies!" I yelled as they were released. I ran as fast as I could. I hid...
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 10-10-2011 08:23 PM
In a bin. After a few hours, I peeked out...
RE: Ongoing story... - Magneto - 10-10-2011 10:54 PM
...to see a mexican standoff.
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 10-12-2011 10:01 PM
The two of them turned to face me as I climbed out of the bin and...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 06-22-2012 11:20 PM
went awol with a serious Yankee-Tango-Foxtrot impersonation to hold off...
RE: Ongoing story... - Captain Jigglypuff - 12-14-2012 11:10 PM
"Resistance is futile!" he screamed.
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 12-16-2012 02:32 AM
I laughed grimly and drew a pistol, red dots appeared all over them, indicating that they were in the sights of others...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-20-2012 12:48 AM
Armed with pistols as well, but when I laid my eyes on them my gaze turned into a power saw and it went BRRRR for a few seconds and then
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 12-20-2012 02:08 AM
There was another large explosion, I was caught it in and awoke several hours later in a hospital bed, covered in bandages...
RE: Ongoing story... - ichtms - 12-20-2012 11:52 PM
... that smelled down right awful. I tossed them aside and slipped under the bed in one single motion only to notice that the smell was much worse there but it was pitch black and I had to be very cautious about where to put my hands so as I felt around me I became somewhat desensitized to the stench and was just about to settle in for a rest when...
RE: Ongoing story... - Some_Bloke - 03-21-2013 01:01 AM
I heard footsteps at the end of the room, but it was far too dark for me to see anything. I continued to hide under the bed, afraid of who or what might be at the end of the room...